{"id":27524,"date":"2021-02-26T16:34:20","date_gmt":"2021-02-26T20:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=27524"},"modified":"2021-03-02T22:42:29","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T02:42:29","slug":"lie-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/lie-5\/","title":{"rendered":"Girl, Wash Your Face Lie 5: Loving Him Is Enough"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you want to know more about lie 5 from Girl, Wash Your Face? <\/em>Do you want to learn how to recognize the early warning signs of a bad relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lie 5 in the list of 20 lies we tell ourselves from Girl, Wash Your Face,<\/em> is the belief that loving someone is enough, even if it comes at a cost. The truth is, people will treat you with as much or as little respect as you permit. If you don\u2019t value yourself, no one else will value you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn more about lie 5 and how you can learn to put more value in yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Lie 5: The Way He\u2019s Treating Me Is Fine Because I Love Him<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In relationships, many women become versions of themselves they don\u2019t recognize, sacrificing their self-worth to keep the love of a man. If a woman isn\u2019t taught to love herself, she may go to great lengths to keep the love of a man and ignore the early warning signs of a bad relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dysfunction begins the first time a woman allows herself to be treated badly, sending the message that this is an acceptable way to treat her; sometimes the blinders of love let this behavior continue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The truth is, people will treat you with as much or as little respect as you permit. As long as you allow someone to treat you badly, they will keep doing so. If you don\u2019t value yourself, no one else will value you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dysfunction Disguised as Love<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The author illustrates the concept of lie 5,\u201callowing someone to treat you badly\u201d with the story of the beginning of her relationship with her now-husband (Hollis wrote this before her divorce). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She met Dave through work when she was 19 years old. While he was older and, she thought, \u201cout of her league,\u201d she fell in love. She had no dating experience but gave out a mature, responsible vibe in the professional world. Dave didn\u2019t realize how young she was and they began seeing each other. When she finally told him her age, he was wary — she was too inexperienced and he didn\u2019t want to be the guy who hurt her. In her naivete, she was baffled: How could he hurt her? This was love! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A month into the relationship, she introduced him as her boyfriend at a party. He was angry — he didn\u2019t even think they were \u201cdating\u201d! In hindsight, she realized that to him, she was only a \u201cbooty call.\u201d She was so deeply in love she couldn\u2019t see the reality of their relationship. She ignored the early warning signs of a bad relationship and believed lie 5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they were together, he was sweet and loving, so she made excuses for the fact that he didn\u2019t call, didn\u2019t acknowledge her during the day, and allowed his friends to mock her. She still drove over and spent the night whenever he asked. She took whatever scraps of attention he threw at her, and she was thrilled to get them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learn Your Value and Beat Lie 5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In hindsight she understood that she was never taught to love herself, so she was desperate to receive love from a man. <\/strong>The relationship went on for a year like this, with her trying to be everything he wanted. After his company transferred him, she desperately clung to a long-distance relationship, but he flew home after two months to break up with her, saying it wasn\u2019t going to work out, but they\u2019d always be friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hollis had an epiphany after he left a casual voicemail after Thanksgiving just checking in. She finally saw the relationship clearly and didn\u2019t like the person she\u2019d allowed herself to become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She understood that she allowed him to treat her this way; the dysfunction in their relationship began the first time he treated her badly and she let him.<\/strong>  She had ignored the early warning signs of a bad relationship and allowed lie 5 to let her believe that loving him was enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She called and calmly told him she was done and not to ever call again — not in a bid for attention, but really meaning it. Hollis told him she didn\u2019t deserve to be treated like this and didn\u2019t like what she\u2019d become. She didn\u2019t want to be \u201cfriends\u201d if this was how he treated people he cared about. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the author\u2019s case, the story has a fairytale ending. He flew home a changed man and became the loving partner she wanted. But for most women, the story doesn\u2019t end this way. Choosing to walk away from a bad relationship, even if it breaks your heart, may be the greatest act of self-love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tips on Not Sacrificing Yourself to a Bad Relationship<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Try these strategies to keep from believing lie 5 and sacrificing yourself to a bad relationship:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Find sounding boards and mentors<\/strong>. When yours is the only voice of advice in your head, your judgement is clouded by love.<\/li>
  • Learn self-respect<\/strong>. When you go into a relationship with self-respect, you don\u2019t allow someone to treat you badly.<\/li>
  • Look at the relationship objectively<\/strong>. Imagine someone else describing your relationship to you. Does it sound healthy? If not, take a deeper look.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Do you want to know more about lie 5 from Girl, Wash Your Face? Do you want to learn how to recognize the early warning signs of a bad relationship? Lie 5 in the list of 20 lies we tell ourselves from Girl, Wash Your Face, is the belief that loving someone is enough, even if it comes at a cost. The truth is, people will treat you with as much or as little respect as you permit. If you don\u2019t value yourself, no one else will value you. Keep reading to learn more about lie 5 and how you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":27534,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,43],"tags":[217],"class_list":["post-27524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-girl-wash-your-face","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nGirl, Wash Your Face Lie 5: Loving Him Is Enough - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Lie 5 is the belief that loving someone is enough, even if it comes at a cost. 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