{"id":24395,"date":"2021-01-25T20:15:00","date_gmt":"2021-01-26T00:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=24395"},"modified":"2021-01-29T17:08:53","modified_gmt":"2021-01-29T21:08:53","slug":"raising-an-introverted-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/raising-an-introverted-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Raising an Introverted Child: Tips for Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is it easier or harder for parents whose children are introverts? What are some tips for raising an introverted child?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raising an introverted child may be more challenging for some parents, especially if the parents are extroverted. It can be tempting to try to and encourage the child to change, but it’s important to cultivate the strengths of introverts<\/a> and help them navigate challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading for more advice about raising an introverted child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Challenges of Raising an Introverted Child<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Introverted children face unique challenges at home and at school, where parents and teachers try to get them to act like their extroverted peers<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parents may try to change introverted children\u2014for instance, an extroverted parent may push a quiet child to play team sports or have a lot of friends. Whether they\u2019re extroverted or introverted themselves, parents may fear raising an introverted child that won\u2019t be able to function in society without changing. When a parent wants to change a child, it\u2019s a bad parent-child fit, according to one psychologist. However, both introverted and extroverted parents can be a good fit for an introverted child by being accepting and learning to see the world from the child\u2019s perspective<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For instance, Joyce\u2019s seven-year-old daughter, Isabel, was sensitive, empathetic, and easily overwhelmed. Isabel didn\u2019t want her mother arranging activities for her after school because, as an introvert, she was tired after her school day and wanted to be alone or with only her mother. Until Joyce understood introversion, she thought something was wrong with Isabel. Then she changed the way she parented, following her daughter\u2019s lead when Isabel wanted downtime and helping her come up with strategies for handling relationships and speaking up at school. Instead of trying to change Isabel, Joyce values her uniqueness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Introverted parents also face pitfalls in raising an introverted child. Sometimes their own painful past experiences can get in the way of parenting. They may feel responsible for passing on the \u201cburden of shyness\u201d to their children and try to protect them. Again, it\u2019s important for parents to accept children as individuals and see things through their eyes, not relive their own childhoods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reaction to Novelty<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Besides being accepting, another key way to help an introverted child is to help him adjust to new people and things<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember that he\u2019s not afraid of people or being anti-social. He\u2019s showing an introvert\u2019s natural reaction to newness (caution) or overstimulation (withdrawing). Accept that it\u2019s his style to be cautious and examine a situation before getting involved. Gradually expose him to new situations and people, while respecting his limits even when they seem over the top. Unlike overprotection or pushing too hard, this approach boosts his confidence. When a child takes risks, commend his efforts. Eventually, he\u2019ll see the rewards of persevering through discomfort and will learn to moderate his tendency toward caution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never shame a child for being shy. Be a role model<\/a> for how to meet new people by being calm and friendly when greeting strangers. Introduce her to new social situations gradually. Discuss them beforehand and walk through them if possible\u2014for instance, by walking a child through a new school when it\u2019s not busy,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raising an introverted child is also about teaching her strategies for handling uncomfortable moments\u2014for instance, how to look confident when you don\u2019t feel that way by smiling, standing up straight, and making eye contact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thriving at School<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Remember that schools are typically designed for extroverts, emphasizing group activities and participation. There\u2019s nothing superior about teaching this way\u2014it\u2019s a result of society\u2019s bias toward the extrovert ideal<\/a>. However, it\u2019s unnatural for introverts, who prefer to work independently and socialize one-on-one. The school environment saps their energy rather than channeling it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As adults, we get to choose the occupations, people, and environments we\u2019re comfortable and thrive in\u2014psychologists refer to this as finding the right \u201cperson-environment fit.\u201d But with one-size-fits-all education, kids don\u2019t get to choose environments conducive to their learning styles<\/a> and personalities<\/strong>. They can\u2019t learn when they feel stressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some ways teachers can help:<\/p>\n\n\n\n