{"id":23389,"date":"2021-01-11T09:58:05","date_gmt":"2021-01-11T13:58:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23389"},"modified":"2025-09-03T14:24:27","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:24:27","slug":"children-empathy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/children-empathy\/","title":{"rendered":"Empathy in Children: Can it Be Taught?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Can you develop empathy in children? How can you help your child consider other people’s needs, feelings, and perspectives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empathy in children is essential for connecting with others<\/a> and developing healthy relationships<\/a> without compromising their sense of self. Interpersonal connection and socialization are important aspects of children’s psychological development. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn how to develop empathy in children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of Shortform\u2019s guide to emotional intelligence<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Building Empathy: Children Need Practice<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Empathy involves reading nonverbal cues<\/a> to recognize how others are feeling, and seeing other people\u2019s perspectives. <\/strong>Empathy also improves your child\u2019s ability to communicate effectively and compromise, all of which helps her to connect with others<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research shows that people experience a stronger sense of personal <\/em>meaning and deeper happiness through helping and connecting with others<\/em>, rather <\/em>than solely taking care of their own concerns. In other words, your \u201cme\u201d greatly benefits from being part of a \u201cwe.\u201d To this end, it\u2019s important to teach children empathy and interpersonal integration\u2014maintaining a strong sense of self while integrating into a community, with consideration for other people\u2019s needs, feelings, and perspectives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humans Are Wired to Connect With Others<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The human brain is designed to connect with others: It interprets cues from other people, and it helps you respond accordingly. Additionally, since every experience you have creates new neural connections, your interactions with other people literally help to shape your brain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mirror neurons<\/a> are a major factor in this process. When you watch someone else <\/em>pick up a glass of water, your mirror neurons fire as if you <\/em>had taken a sip of water. Your mirror neurons prepare you to reflect what you expect another person to do or feel. <\/strong>When your mirror neurons help you to understand another person\u2019s emotions, you not only reflect them back, but you also absorb them. For example, if you\u2019re particularly stressed one day, you may notice that your child also becomes somewhat anxious. This all means that humans are wired with the capacity to empathize and connect with other people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although your children’s empathy capacity is not yet fully developed, they need your help to learn and practice it. In fact, <\/strong>just like other skills, some children are naturally more or less adept at empathy than others, and they simply need more help developing it. Give your child plenty of opportunities to practice empathy by interacting and building friendships with other children\u2014which will put them in situations that require empathy\u2014and offer support when your child needs it. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Child\u2019s Mental State Aids or Impedes Empathy<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re trying to teach children a lesson in empathy and connecting with others, be aware of whether your child has access to her upstairs brain, which controls empathy. <\/strong>If her upstairs brain is online, she\u2019s in a receptive <\/em>mental state. In this state, her social circuitry is switched on, which makes her physically, mentally, and emotionally more open to connecting with other people. By contrast, if your child\u2019s downstairs brain is blocking the stairway to her upstairs brain, she\u2019s in a reactive<\/em> state. It\u2019s nearly impossible to be open and empathetic with other people when you\u2019re in this state. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you pay attention to which state your child is in, it will help you to determine how to handle outbursts and misbehavior. <\/strong>When your child\u2019s downstairs brain has taken over and she\u2019s in a reactive state, comfort and support her before you attempt to reason with her. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Model Healthy Relationships<\/strong> to Develop Empathy in Children<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the best ways to teach children empathy is to make sure that the relationship you have with them is strong, loving, and joyful. Your child\u2019s early relationships will teach her how to navigate relationships for the rest of her life.<\/strong> Specifically, she\u2019ll learn: <\/p>\n\n\n\n