{"id":23388,"date":"2021-01-13T09:02:50","date_gmt":"2021-01-13T13:02:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23388"},"modified":"2025-09-03T14:23:36","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:23:36","slug":"emotional-intelligence-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Children"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How do you explain emotions to a child? What are some strategies to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/lack-of-emotional-intelligence\/\">teach emotional intelligence<\/a> to children?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Children with high emotional intelligence are better able to cope with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-difficult-emotions\/\">difficult emotions<\/a> because they understand that feelings are temporary. They are also more adept at recognizing the complexity of their own and other people&#8217;s emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are two lessons for teaching emotional intelligence to children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/society-culture\/psychology\/emotional-intelligence-guide\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Shortform\u2019s guide to emotional intelligence<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-teaching-emotional-intelligence-to-children\">Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>By teaching emotional intelligence, children gain a wide range of skills that young children need help developing. At the most basic level, your child needs to understand that emotions are temporary, and that they don\u2019t define who she is\u2014feelings are states, not traits. It is also important to introduce the idea that feelings are complex and that it&#8217;s possible to feel many things at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-lesson-1-feelings-are-temporary\">Lesson 1: Feelings are Temporary<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Explain to your child that emotions are like the weather: There\u2019s no doubt that the clouds and the rain are real, but you also know that they won\u2019t last forever.&nbsp;When your child is consumed by difficult emotions, it can be hard for her to imagine ever feeling better. If she can\u2019t visualize it in the future, remind her of a recent time\u2014maybe earlier that day\u2014when she was happy or felt differently about the very thing that has upset her now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-lesson-2-emotions-are-complex\">Lesson 2: Emotions are Complex<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Use everyday opportunities to illustrate how different feelings can coexist. If she\u2019s upset that her friend cancelled a playdate for this weekend, acknowledge that she\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/feeling-disappointed\/\">feeling disappointed<\/a>, and help her to recognize that another part of her probably feels excited about their plans to reschedule the following weekend, and still another part of her is probably thinking about what she\u2019s going to play during recess today.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try using the acronym SIFT to help your child integrate different emotions: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1)<\/strong> <strong>Sensations <\/strong>include hunger and tiredness as well as the many ways that emotions affect the body. For example, your child can learn that butterflies in her stomach mean that she\u2019s nervous. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2)<\/strong> <strong>Images <\/strong>include images from memories and from your child\u2019s imagination and dreams, all of which can affect how she\u2019s interpreting and reacting to the present. For example, if your child remembers the image of her being picked last for teams during recess, she\u2019s inclined to feel left out among her peers.t.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3) Feelings <\/strong>and emotions can be <em>symptomatic of an experience<\/em>, but they can also <em>influence your experience<\/em>. For example, if you hit traffic on the way to your picnic and it puts you in a sour mood, you&#8217;re more likely to get annoyed at the noise from the children playing nearby. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4) Thoughts <\/strong>include the things you think about, your self-talk, and how you narrate your experiences. <strong>When your child becomes more aware of her thoughts, she doesn\u2019t have to remain a victim of them\u2014instead, she can direct them in a positive direction and reject negativity.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you explain emotions to a child? What are some strategies to teach emotional intelligence to children? Children with high emotional intelligence are better able to cope with difficult emotions because they understand that feelings are temporary. They are also more adept at recognizing the complexity of their own and other people&#8217;s emotions. Here are two lessons for teaching emotional intelligence to children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":23396,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,9],"tags":[186],"class_list":["post-23388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-psychology","tag-the-whole-brain-child","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Children - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Emotional Intelligence is a range of skills children need help developing. 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Here are 2 lessons on emotional intelligence for children.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-13T13:02:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-09-03T18:23:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/parenting-father-daughter-family.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1220\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Children\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-13T13:02:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-09-03T18:23:36+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/\"},\"wordCount\":539,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/parenting-father-daughter-family.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Whole-Brain Child\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/\",\"name\":\"How to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Children - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-children\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/parenting-father-daughter-family.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-13T13:02:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-09-03T18:23:36+00:00\",\"description\":\"Emotional Intelligence is a range of skills children need help developing. 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