{"id":23277,"date":"2021-01-12T18:34:02","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T22:34:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23277"},"modified":"2021-01-17T14:14:22","modified_gmt":"2021-01-17T18:14:22","slug":"active-listening-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Active Listening: Negotiation Requires Listening Well"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is active listening in negotiation and why is it so important? What can do you do to improve your active listening skills?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Active listening in negotiation is critical for you to be successful. It can help you disarm your counterpart and show them that you really care about what they have to say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more about active listening, negotiation, and how to make your counterpart feel heard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Active Listening<\/strong> &amp; Negotiation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Active listening is a set of tools that skilled negotiators use to disarm their counterparts. It means making clear that you\u2019re listening and understanding the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Too often, we are only <em>passively <\/em>listening. We might be literally hearing the words they\u2019re saying, but we\u2019re filtering out information that doesn\u2019t conform with our biases.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or, we\u2019re so overwhelmed by the sheer <em>volume <\/em>of information that our brains are shutting down as a defense mechanism: like a computer that\u2019s reached the limits of its processing power. When we\u2019re passively listening, we\u2019re missing important information, only focusing on hearing the things that lead us to our foregone conclusions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, how do you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-active-listening\/\">use active listening<\/a> in a negotiation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Take It Slow<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Talk slowly and calmly to show that you\u2019re actively listening and <\/strong><strong><em>concerned <\/em><\/strong><strong>about how they feel.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In contrast, think about how it feels when someone (like a salesperson) bombards you with lots of information all at once. You feel overwhelmed, not in control, and like they\u2019re trying to pull one over on you. It\u2019s as if the other person cares more about what <em>they\u2019re <\/em>saying than about listening to <em>your <\/em>concerns.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Apply these experiences to your negotiations with others. When you speak too fast or ambush someone with your argument all at once, they\u2019re going to feel unheard and unfairly pressured. They might get defensive or even break off negotiations because they feel you\u2019re not giving them the time to make the right decision.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Choose Your Tone<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve all heard the saying, \u201cIt\u2019s not <em>what<\/em> you say, it\u2019s <em>how<\/em> you say it.\u201d And it\u2019s true: <strong>tone matters <\/strong><strong><em>far<\/em><\/strong><strong> more than word choice<\/strong>. Using different tones of voice can have a remarkable effect: it\u2019s like flipping an emotional switch that gets people cooperative and relaxed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are three main negotiating voices to use:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Late-Night FM DJ<\/strong>: This is a calm, slow, reassuring voice, with a downward inflection. This is the one favored by hostage negotiators, because it keeps hostage-takers from becoming rattled and engaging in impulsive (and thus, dangerous) behavior.<\/li><li><strong>Positive Playful<\/strong>: This is a light and encouraging voice. <strong>This should be your default tone <\/strong>because it\u2019s effective at putting people at ease (which is precisely where you want them when you\u2019re negotiating). Think of it as the vocal equivalent of a pleasant and natural smile.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Assertive<\/strong>: This is a dominant and authoritative voice. Many people think that this is the key to negotiation, but they\u2019re wrong. Browbeating the other party is rarely successful. <strong>This tone should only be used in very select cases, because it has a high likelihood of backfiring.<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is active listening in negotiation and why is it so important? What can do you do to improve your active listening skills? Active listening in negotiation is critical for you to be successful. It can help you disarm your counterpart and show them that you really care about what they have to say. Read more about active listening, negotiation, and how to make your counterpart feel heard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8643,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9],"tags":[185],"class_list":["post-23277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","tag-never-split-the-difference","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Active Listening: Negotiation Requires Listening Well - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Active listening in negotiation is critical. 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It means making clear that you understand and care about what your opponent has to say.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-12T22:34:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-17T18:14:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/business-meeting-outsiders-1-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1709\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Active Listening: Negotiation Requires Listening Well\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-12T22:34:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:14:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/\"},\"wordCount\":534,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/business-meeting-outsiders-1-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Never Split the Difference\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/\",\"name\":\"Active Listening: Negotiation Requires Listening Well - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/active-listening-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/05\/business-meeting-outsiders-1-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-12T22:34:02+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:14:22+00:00\",\"description\":\"Active listening in negotiation is critical. 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