{"id":23175,"date":"2021-01-10T09:39:49","date_gmt":"2021-01-10T13:39:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23175"},"modified":"2021-01-17T14:11:55","modified_gmt":"2021-01-17T18:11:55","slug":"win-win-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Win-Win Negotiation: The Perils and Pitfalls"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-law-of-influence\/\">a win-win<\/a> negotiation? Why does this idea have so much currency? What are the advantages and disadvantages of the win-win <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\">approach to negotiation<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation-2\/\">win-win negotiation<\/a> is a negotiation based in compromise. It stipulates that negotiating counterparts should look for common ground and seek terms that they can both live with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading for more about win-win negotiation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Perils of Win-Win Negotiat<\/strong>ion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The win-win negotiation approach is premised on the idea that the ultimate outcome of any negotiation is to settle in the middle or \u201csplit the difference.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>We\u2019re taught from an early age to compromise, meet in the middle, <em>split the difference<\/em>. <\/strong>Compromise helps us avoid the hard work of <em>actual <\/em>negotiating. It\u2019s much easier just to split the difference than it is to really put in the effort to build a deep connection with the other person. Instead of figuring out what makes someone tick and using it to your advantage (which we\u2019ll explore below), you can just accept half-a-loaf and move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it\u2019s more than that: <strong>win-win negotiation doesn\u2019t just diminish the potential <em>gains <\/em>you could make, it can also lead to catastrophic <em>losses<\/em>. <\/strong>Think about a kidnapper who demands a $150,000 ransom for a hostage. Win-win negotiators would tell you to offer them $75,000 and hope that the kidnapper will just accept this and release the hostage. Of course, this would probably lead to the worst-case scenario, where you pay the money and the hostage isn\u2019t released! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Obviously, this is not a tenable strategy. And the reason it fails is because <strong>some <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiations\/\">win-win negotiations<\/a> are actually win-lose<\/strong>. &nbsp;In a win-lose, a win for the other side can <em>only<\/em> mean a loss for you. In these scenarios, the win-win negotiation approach satisfies no one and often leads to disaster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The lesson is to lean in to the difficult work of negotiating. Find out what\u2019s really driving your counterpart: <strong>what do they want to achieve, what pressures are they facing, what do they consider to be fair or unfair?<\/strong> These aren\u2019t easy questions to answer, but they will ultimately yield better results for you. <strong>The best solutions are always the product of risk, annoyance, confusion and conflict.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Making Deadlines Work&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Deadlines are always a source of anxiety in negotiations. <strong>We feel that we will lose out on an opportunity if we don\u2019t make a deal right away<\/strong>, or that these terms will never be available again.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your counterpart will use deadlines to put pressure on you to make a deal. This is the essence of high-pressure sales tactics,&nbsp; when a salesperson tells you that a deal is for \u201ca limited-time only\u201d or that a product is \u201conly available on a first-come, first-serve basis.\u201d These deadlines compel you to suspend your rational judgement, ignore the pros and cons, brush aside questions of whether or not you even <em>need <\/em>the item in question, and, ultimately, rush headlong into a bad decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But deadlines can work both ways. You can also use them to <em>your <\/em>advantage, whether you\u2019re facing one externally or imposing one on someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Facing <\/strong><strong><em>Your <\/em><\/strong><strong>Deadline<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing about deadlines: they\u2019re mostly fake. <strong>Deadlines are almost <\/strong><strong><em>always<\/em><\/strong><strong> arbitrary, flexible, and rarely trigger the dreaded consequences people fear they will. <\/strong>What they <em>really <\/em>exist to do is force people to compromise with <em>themselves<\/em> in order to meet them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;A lot of old-school negotiation theories tell you to <em>never<\/em> reveal your deadline, otherwise you\u2019ll give the other side an opportunity to run out the clock and delay discussion of the issues until the very end: putting <em>you <\/em>under pressure to make a deal on <em>their<\/em> terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is also wrong. <strong>You <\/strong><strong><em>want<\/em><\/strong><strong> to reveal your deadline to your counterpart.<\/strong> Doing so reduces the risk of impasse and forces the other side to get down to negotiating immediately.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As long as you\u2019re committed to not negotiating against yourself to meet the deadline, this can work to your advantage: you can flip the table and force them to accommodate <em>your <\/em>deadline. Remember, <strong>a missed deal for <\/strong><strong><em>you<\/em><\/strong><strong> is also a missed deal for <\/strong><strong><em>them<\/em><\/strong><strong>.<\/strong> There\u2019s no reason for you to be the only one feeling the pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Facing <\/strong><strong><em>Their <\/em><\/strong><strong>Deadline<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>As a good negotiator, you also need to use <em>their <\/em>deadline to your advantage. For example, car dealers are known for making generous offers when their reviews are up at the end of the month. They have to meet sales quotas, so they have a powerful <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-incentive-meaning-and-definition-economics\/\">incentive<\/a> to close the deal on your terms.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is a win-win negotiation? Why does this idea have so much currency? What are the advantages and disadvantages of the win-win approach to negotiation? A win-win negotiation is a negotiation based in compromise. It stipulates that negotiating counterparts should look for common ground and seek terms that they can both live with. Keep reading for more about win-win negotiation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":23338,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34],"tags":[185],"class_list":["post-23175","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","tag-never-split-the-difference","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Win-Win Negotiation: The Perils and Pitfalls - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A win-win negotiation is a negotiation based on compromise. However, seeking compromise is not always a tenable strategy. 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Learn why.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-10T13:39:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-17T18:11:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/talking-conversation-communication.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1220\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Win-Win Negotiation: The Perils and Pitfalls\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-10T13:39:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:11:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/\"},\"wordCount\":773,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/talking-conversation-communication.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Never Split the Difference\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Business\",\"Communication\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/\",\"name\":\"Win-Win Negotiation: The Perils and Pitfalls - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/win-win-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/talking-conversation-communication.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-10T13:39:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:11:55+00:00\",\"description\":\"A win-win negotiation is a negotiation based on compromise. 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