{"id":23174,"date":"2021-01-09T09:45:03","date_gmt":"2021-01-09T13:45:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23174"},"modified":"2021-01-17T14:11:45","modified_gmt":"2021-01-17T18:11:45","slug":"fair-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Fair Negotiation Is Just a Loaded Term"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What do we mean when we talk about a fair negotiation? And is there such a thing as an objectively fair outcome?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People are powerfully guided by their expectations of a fair negotiation. This can mean three different things\u2014two of them are underhanded tricks, and one sets the stage for open negotiation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read about fair negotiation and what it means.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Fair Negotiation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p> <strong>People\u2019s quest for fairness and their desire to reject <em>unfairness<\/em> can lead them to irrational choices<\/strong>. Knowing this can be a powerful advantage for you in negotiating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What do we really mean when we talk about a fair negotiation? In negotiations, there are actually three uses of the term:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The first is meant to destabilize the other side. When you hear things like, \u201cI just want what\u2019s fair,\u201d that\u2019s what they\u2019re doing. The goal is to trigger defensiveness and a willingness to concede, because no one wants to be perceived as being unfair or unreasonable.<\/li><li>The second is when we accuse the other side of being either too dense or dishonest to recognize a fair offer. When someone says, \u201cWe\u2019ve made you a fair offer,\u201d they\u2019re doing this. It\u2019s meant to manipulate you into accepting their terms by playing on your innate desire to be fair and reasonable.&nbsp;<ul><li>You should respond by mirroring and turning it back on them by saying, \u201cYou say your offer is fair. It seems like you\u2019ve got some pretty good evidence to back that up.\u201d This will force them to divulge more information to you, which will you give you deeper insight into their true negotiating position.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li>The third one sets the stage for empathy and honesty: <strong>\u201cI want you to feel that you\u2019re being treated fairly. Stop me if you feel you\u2019re not.\u201d<\/strong> This sets the stage for open, honest, and empathetic negotiation.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Fairness in Action: The Proposer\/Accepter Game<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The Proposer\/Accepter Exercise is an excellent illustration of the perception of fairness in a negotiation. You start by splitting the class into two groups, each consisting of a \u201cProposer\u201d and an \u201cAccepter.\u201d At the start of the exercise, the Proposer is given $10 and the Accepter is given $0. They are tasked with working out an arrangement to divide the money between them in round dollar increments. They both get nothing if they cannot agree on an allocation of the money.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s instructive is how wildly divergent everyone\u2019s notion of what a \u201cfair\u201d split is.&nbsp; No particular split gets chosen more than any other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With an exception\u2014there are very few $9\/$1 Proposer\/Accepter splits, even though this is the most \u201crational\u201d division. After all, it\u2019s the split most favorable to the Proposer and it\u2019s still $1 more than the Accepter has before the game starts: it actually <em>would <\/em>be a classic \u201cwin-win.\u201d That no one chooses this is an elegant demonstration of how <strong>negotiation is driven more by people\u2019s subjective and emotional notions of fairness than of any sort of rational best-interest<\/strong> <strong>calculation<\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What do we mean when we talk about a fair negotiation? And is there such a thing as an objectively fair outcome? People are powerfully guided by their expectations of a fair negotiation. This can mean three different things\u2014two of them are underhanded tricks, and one sets the stage for open negotiation. Read about fair negotiation and what it means.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":23336,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,20],"tags":[185],"class_list":["post-23174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-ethics","tag-never-split-the-difference","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fair Negotiation Is Just a Loaded Term - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A &quot;fair&quot; negotiation can mean three different things. Two of them are underhanded tricks, and one sets the stage for open exchange.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fair Negotiation Is Just a Loaded Term\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A &quot;fair&quot; negotiation can mean three different things. Two of them are underhanded tricks, and one sets the stage for open exchange.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-01-09T13:45:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-01-17T18:11:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/handshake-agreement-deal.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1220\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Fair Negotiation Is Just a Loaded Term\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-09T13:45:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:11:45+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\"},\"wordCount\":516,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/handshake-agreement-deal.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Never Split the Difference\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Ethics\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/\",\"name\":\"Fair Negotiation Is Just a Loaded Term - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fair-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/handshake-agreement-deal.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-01-09T13:45:03+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-01-17T18:11:45+00:00\",\"description\":\"A \\\"fair\\\" negotiation can mean three different things. 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