{"id":23163,"date":"2021-01-16T18:25:13","date_gmt":"2021-01-16T22:25:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=23163"},"modified":"2021-01-17T14:13:39","modified_gmt":"2021-01-17T18:13:39","slug":"chris-voss-getting-to-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/chris-voss-getting-to-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Chris Voss: Getting to \u201cNo\u201d to Get to \u201cYes\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why does Chris Voss advocate getting to \u201cno\u201d in a negotiation? Isn&#8217;t getting to \u201cyes\u201d the ultimate goal of any negotiation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Chris Voss, getting to \u201cno\u201d makes your counterpart feel <em>in control<\/em>. When people say \u201cno\u201d to something, it is a powerful assertion of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to find out why Chis Voss advocates getting to \u201cno\u201d before getting to \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Chris Voss: Getting to \u201cNo\u201d First<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Much of old-school negotiating strategy is premised on the idea of getting to \u201cyes\u201d. t\u2019s easy to understand why this idea holds so much currency. \u201cYes\u201d would mean that you\u2019ve reached some sort of agreement, that they\u2019ve acceded to your conditions. But as we\u2019ll explore, \u201cyes\u201d is just the very <em>end <\/em>of the process: and if you push too hard, you\u2019ll only anger and provoke your counterpart or get a false \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Along the way to yes is a whole series of \u201cnos.\u201d According to Chris Voss, getting to \u201cno\u201d is simply a signpost on the way to yes.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Weakness of \u201cYes\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>People often say <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong><strong>yes\u201d just to get someone else off their back<\/strong>. They\u2019re not truly agreeing or committing to something, they\u2019re simply trying to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/end-a-conversation\/\">end a conversation<\/a> with someone who\u2019s being too aggressive and domineering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve all encountered pushy salespeople. They ask a series of questions whose obvious answer is \u201cyes,\u201d in the hopes that they will cut off your escape route to a refusal, compelling you to eventually say yes to whatever they\u2019re selling. But because we\u2019re all so conditioned to these sorts of leading questions, they don\u2019t have their intended impact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>There Are Three Kinds of Yes<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The Counterfeit Yes: saying yes just to get out of the situation. This is what we do with pushy salespeople.<\/li><li>The Confirmation Yes: an affirmation, but with no commitment to further action. These are usually literal answers to black-and-white, yes-or-no questions. It\u2019s not a lie, but it doesn\u2019t hold the person to anything.<\/li><li>The Commitment Yes: the real deal, the one you want to hear when you\u2019re negotiating. This means, \u201cYes, I understand and agree with you <em>and <\/em>I will commit to doing that.\u201d<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Getting to \u201cNo\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Chris Voss, getting to \u201cno\u201d makes your counterpart feel <em>in control<\/em>.<strong> <\/strong>When we say \u201cno\u201d to something, it is a powerful assertion of control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>To get to \u201cno,\u201d ask your counterpart questions that are designed to prompt negative answers<\/strong>. A clever way to accomplish this is to <em>mislabel <\/em>your counterpart\u2019s emotions. You don\u2019t want to mis-read them entirely, but go more extreme than what they\u2019re feeling so they draw it back. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another tactic is to ask what they <em>don\u2019t<\/em> want. For example, if you\u2019re talking with someone who you know wants to stay in a job, you could say \u201cIt seems like you\u2019re really eager to leave your job.\u201d This forces them to correct you and state \u201cNo, I\u2019m really committed to staying where I am.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why does Chris Voss advocate getting to \u201cno\u201d in a negotiation? Isn&#8217;t getting to \u201cyes\u201d the ultimate goal of any negotiation? According to Chris Voss, getting to \u201cno\u201d makes your counterpart feel in control. When people say \u201cno\u201d to something, it is a powerful assertion of control. Keep reading to find out why Chis Voss advocates getting to \u201cno\u201d before getting to \u201cyes.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":23350,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9],"tags":[185],"class_list":["post-23163","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","tag-never-split-the-difference","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Chris Voss: Getting to \u201cNo\u201d to Get to \u201cYes\u201d - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to Chris Voss, getting to \u201cno\u201d signals the beginning of a successful negotiation, not the end of one. 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