{"id":220,"date":"2019-07-01T22:54:40","date_gmt":"2019-07-02T02:54:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=220"},"modified":"2022-04-14T16:51:57","modified_gmt":"2022-04-14T20:51:57","slug":"emotional-intelligence-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Freud said, \u201cTo love and to work are the twin capacities that mark full maturity.\u201d Goleman would most likely add \u201cto learn\u201d and \u201cto take care of yourself and others\u201d to that list, and <strong>emotional intelligence is the key to loving, working, learning, and taking care of yourself and others to the best of your abilities.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>Since social pressures are no longer the main catalyst for marriage, much more importance is placed on the emotional bond between two people. The current trend in divorce rates suggests we need a little more emotional intelligence in our marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>In 1890, about 10% of all American marriages ended in divorce. In 1920, the rate went up to 20%. It went up to 30% in 1950, and 50% in 1970. By 1990, it shot up to 67%.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>One primary factor in the dissolution of marriage is differing expectations, and it all starts with how we raise children to approach emotions based on their sex.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Differing Expectations<\/strong> in Emotions in Relationships<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In couples experiencing marital distress, typically the woman wants to engage with her husband, and the man routinely withdraws from his wife. This stems from the two different  emotional intelligence and emotional realities in a heterosexual couple, his and hers.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Learning to Be or Not to Be Emotional<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Emotional differences in relationships may be partially biological, but they are undeniably social. <strong>Boys and girls are taught different lessons about how to handle their emotions.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Generally, <strong>parents discuss emotions more with daughters than sons, excepting anger. <\/strong>Parents display a wider array of emotions to daughters. When parents make up stories for preschool-aged children, they typically use more emotion words for daughters than sons. Mothers discuss emotions with daughters, and discuss them in greater detail than with sons.<\/li><li><strong>Girls are also typically faster to develop language skills than boys<\/strong>, which gives them more experience articulating their feelings and using words instead of physical methods of resolving conflicts or communicating feelings.<\/li><li><strong>Boys are not encouraged to verbalize their feelings, and they\u2019re not usually taught how<\/strong>&#8211;this can cause them to develop a blindness to their own emotional states and others\u2019.<\/li><li><strong>Sons are more likely to receive detailed stories and instructions on anger.<\/strong> This is perhaps because boys and girls drift into different ways of handling anger at the onset of puberty.<ul><li>At 10, approximately the same percentage of boys and girls are described as overtly aggressive and prone to open confrontation. By 13, girls have learned to use different tactics to express anger, tactics like gossiping, ostracizing, and indirect confrontation. Boys at the same age still <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/deal-with-anger\/\">deal with anger<\/a> through open confrontation.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>And there are differences in how girls and boys form <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/realationships-with-others\/\">relationships with others<\/a>, even in childhood.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Girls typically play together in small groups, emphasizing minimal hostility and maximum cooperation. Boys generally play in larger groups, emphasizing competition.<\/li><li>If a girl gets hurt while playing a game, the game ceases and all the other girls convene around the injured girl and try to help. If a boy gets hurt during a game, he\u2019s expected to remove himself and let the game continue.<\/li><li>Girls consider themselves a part of a group, and feel threatened by any rift in their relationships; boys are encouraged to be autonomous, strong-minded individuals&#8211;loners who sometimes hang out with other loners&#8211;and are threatened by any challenge to that autonomy.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>When the Kids Grow Up<\/strong> and Have Relationships<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>These lessons result in different expectations of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships-2\/\">emotional intelligence in relationships<\/a> and abilities in adulthood:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Women seek emotional connection in conversation, while men prefer to talk about \u201cthings.\u201d <\/strong>In one study, the most important thing for a woman\u2019s marriage satisfaction was good communication between her and her husband.<\/li><li>Women are better at picking up verbal and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nonverbal-cues\/\">nonverbal cues<\/a>, and at expressing and articulating their feelings. Men are adept at minimizing \u201cweak\u201d emotions such as hurt, fear, guilt, or vulnerability.<\/li><li>In terms of marriage, this means <strong>women come prepared to be the \u201cemotional managers,\u201d while men lack an understanding of how fundamental emotions are to the survival of a relationship.<\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>One researcher found that in the dating phase men are much more likely to participate in the emotionally connected talking that women crave&#8211;but as the relationship goes on, men spend less time talking this way and want to connect through activities.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because men have less capability with registering and interpreting others\u2019 emotional cues, husbands don\u2019t notice their wives\u2019 emotional states until they\u2019re more intense&#8211;a woman has to be that much sadder to get her husband to notice, let alone ask what\u2019s making her sad. This can be perceived as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/lack-of-emotional-intelligence\/\">low emotional intelligence<\/a> in relationships. Women, as the emotional manager of a relationship, can get burnt out not only by trying to manage their male partner\u2019s emotions, but by having to manage their own stronger and more neglect emotions by themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ironically, because men generally have a more shallow understanding of emotions, <strong>husbands also generally see their relationships in a rosier hue than their wives<\/strong>&#8211;everything from sex to family relationships to finances seem on average better to men than to women. Women generally complain more vocally about their marriage than men, especially in less satisfied couples. This is precisely because they are trying to work out emotional issues and resolve grievances in their role as emotional manager. No wonder men and women feel differently about  emotional intelligence in relationships!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Freud said, \u201cTo love and to work are the twin capacities that mark full maturity.\u201d Goleman would most likely add \u201cto learn\u201d and \u201cto take care of yourself and others\u201d to that list, and emotional intelligence is the key to loving, working, learning, and taking care of yourself and others to the best of your abilities.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":150,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","tag-emotional-intelligence","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"687\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"454\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Allen Cheng\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Allen Cheng\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Allen Cheng\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/e9c1cecc340502045489d4c4e6f4a877\"},\"headline\":\"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\"},\"wordCount\":893,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Emotional Intelligence\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\",\"name\":\"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00\",\"description\":\"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg\",\"width\":687,\"height\":454},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/e9c1cecc340502045489d4c4e6f4a877\",\"name\":\"Allen Cheng\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/658f486a7308ee9a8cffe118baa58e29b0ef902cb29203b65e033a7c49f06a2a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/658f486a7308ee9a8cffe118baa58e29b0ef902cb29203b65e033a7c49f06a2a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Allen Cheng\"},\"description\":\"Allen Cheng is the founder of Shortform. He has a passion for non-fiction books (having read 200+ and counting) and is on a mission to make the world's best ideas more accessible to everyone. He reads broadly, covering a wide range of subjects including finance, management, health, and society. Allen graduated from Harvard University summa cum laude and attended medical training at the MD\/PhD program at Harvard and MIT. Before Shortform, he co-founded PrepScholar, an online education company.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/allen\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide - Shortform Books","description":"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide","og_description":"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00","og_image":[{"width":687,"height":454,"url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Allen Cheng","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Allen Cheng","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/"},"author":{"name":"Allen Cheng","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/e9c1cecc340502045489d4c4e6f4a877"},"headline":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide","datePublished":"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00","dateModified":"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/"},"wordCount":893,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","keywords":["Emotional Intelligence"],"articleSection":["Psychology"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/","name":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","datePublished":"2019-07-02T02:54:40+00:00","dateModified":"2022-04-14T20:51:57+00:00","description":"How do you get emotional intelligence in romantic relationships? Learn how EQ is the key to loving well\u2014and so much more.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","width":687,"height":454},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-in-relationships\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Complete Guide"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/e9c1cecc340502045489d4c4e6f4a877","name":"Allen Cheng","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/658f486a7308ee9a8cffe118baa58e29b0ef902cb29203b65e033a7c49f06a2a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/658f486a7308ee9a8cffe118baa58e29b0ef902cb29203b65e033a7c49f06a2a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Allen Cheng"},"description":"Allen Cheng is the founder of Shortform. He has a passion for non-fiction books (having read 200+ and counting) and is on a mission to make the world's best ideas more accessible to everyone. He reads broadly, covering a wide range of subjects including finance, management, health, and society. Allen graduated from Harvard University summa cum laude and attended medical training at the MD\/PhD program at Harvard and MIT. Before Shortform, he co-founded PrepScholar, an online education company.","sameAs":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/allen\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/emotional-intelligence-relationship2.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=220"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/220\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6732,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/220\/revisions\/6732"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}