{"id":20620,"date":"2020-12-09T20:03:44","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T00:03:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=20620"},"modified":"2020-12-19T17:42:04","modified_gmt":"2020-12-19T21:42:04","slug":"hiding-your-true-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hiding-your-true-self\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Hiding Your True Self? You’re Not Alone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you hiding your true self<\/a>? Do all people hide their true selves, and why is this our natural instinct?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hiding your true self<\/a> is something many people do in one way or another. As people, we wear masks to fit in and to protect our emotions and inner lives<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to find out why you’re hiding your true self, and what you can do when you suspect other people are wearing masks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Hiding Your True Self: Nonverbal and Verbal Communication<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In Part 1, we learned to develop empathy, manage toxic types, control our own nature, and make people like us. In Part 2, we\u2019ll look at how to continue developing these skills when faced with people who hide their true selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Humans communicate both verbally and nonverbally, but we tend to focus on words, which often don\u2019t accurately (intentionally or not) represent our emotions.<\/strong> In fact, 65% of our communication is nonverbal, and body language<\/a> usually more accurately communicates what we\u2019re feeling than words. Most of us, however, only manage to read about 5% of nonverbal communication<\/a> cues.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this introduction, we\u2019ll learn how to read nonverbal cues<\/a> to find out what people are really <\/em>thinking and feeling, even if they\u2019re trying to hide it. Then, in subsequent laws, we\u2019ll look at some of the things they might be hiding and how you may be hiding your true self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People Wear Masks<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Now that we understand how to observe and interpret nonverbal cues, it\u2019s time to look at some of the traits and feelings almost everyone hides, and how you go about hiding your true self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No one acts true to themselves all the time. Starting from birth, we learn how to use our faces and bodies to get our parents to give us things, and we continue to act throughout our lives to fit into society. Acting completely honestly would result in social ruin\u2014we would offend people and open ourselves up to so much judgment and insecurity it would affect our mental health.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hide our negative feelings\u2014such as superiority or insecurity\u2014with words and sometimes mixed signals. A lot of the time we don\u2019t even know we\u2019re acting, and this conviction is part of what makes the mask believable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, no matter how good we are at hiding our feelings and masking, our real feelings are underneath somewhere, and they\u2019re impossible to fully suppress,<\/strong> especially when we\u2019re stressed, tired, angry, frustrated, or drunk. Accurate nonverbal cues leak out, often in microexpressions or in the tone of voice\u2014people can look in mirrors to train their faces, but the voice is harder to change. Learn to spot these leaks and you\u2019ll be able to uncover people\u2019s real natures, as well as better mask your own. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many people dislike the idea of acting or mask-wearing because it feels dishonest, but there are four reasons to study it and why you’re hiding your true self:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Mask-wearing is impossible to avoid. Everyone acts, often subconsciously, so there\u2019s no point getting upset about this because you can\u2019t change it. If you don\u2019t think you wear masks, think about how you interact with different people. You almost certainly behave differently with your boss than with your best friend.<\/li>
  2. Mask-wearing can help you get ahead because it shows you in a positive light.<\/li>
  3. If you don\u2019t learn about mask-wearing, you\u2019re vulnerable to being fooled by others. <\/li>
  4. Those who choose not to mask are pushed to the fringes of society.<\/li>
  5. Learning to see through masks will help you predict people. When someone does something hostile, there are always signs beforehand because strong emotions are impossible to entirely hide. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    In this law, we\u2019ll learn to make people like us, manage toxic types, and control our own nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Make People Like You: Impression Management<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    You can make people like you<\/a> by wearing an appealing mask, which is also called impression management. Impression management is especially important in professional situations because people associate certain behaviors with certain professions, and if their expectations are contradicted, they suspect a lack of competence. <\/strong>For example, if your doctor started acting like a rock musician, you might worry about her ability to diagnose illness. Even people who seem rebellious are subject to this suspicion\u2014if a hipster suddenly wore a suit, others would question her authenticity as a hipster. This is how hiding your true self can be an advantage. You have the ability to change someone’s impression of you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Once you\u2019ve proven your identity and competence, you can start to show more of your true self and quirks, but you can never completely take the mask off.<\/strong> To continue succeeding socially, you have to continue to meet others\u2019 expectations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    To create your mask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Demonstrate universally positive traits. <\/strong>There are some traits that everyone sees as positive, and a good one to demonstrate is saintliness, which you can do by supporting causes, or by appearing humble by lowering your head or publicly sharing vulnerabilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n