{"id":20619,"date":"2020-12-10T09:02:24","date_gmt":"2020-12-10T13:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=20619"},"modified":"2020-12-19T17:39:18","modified_gmt":"2020-12-19T21:39:18","slug":"types-of-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/types-of-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Types of Envy: Can You Identify Them?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What are the different types of envy? How can you tell if someone is being envious?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are 5 main types of envy. Using this guide, you&#8217;ll be able to identify enviers, their type, and decide what to do about them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to find out the types of envy and what you can do about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Types of Env<\/strong>y<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Now that we\u2019ve learned how to identify some of the cues enviers give off, it\u2019s time to look at different types of enviers. If more specific instructions aren\u2019t given, the best way to deal with envy attack from one of the types below is to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Remain calm.<\/strong> When an envier attacks, they\u2019re trying to provoke you so that they can use your reaction as more fuel to justify their actions.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Distance yourself from the envier as much as possible. <\/strong>You can\u2019t fix your relationship, because that would involve you being gracious, which would only make the envier feel even more inferior.<\/li><li><strong>Don\u2019t bother trying to get revenge on an envier<\/strong>\u2014their envy already makes them miserable.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Type #1: Levelers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Levelers want to reduce everyone to their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/levels-of-success\/\">level of success<\/a>.<\/strong> They\u2019re very aware of unfairness, and if anyone does well, they accuse them of being lucky, ambitious, or cheating the system. These types have a brutal sense of humor, but can\u2019t cope with jokes about themselves. They tend to prize things that are mediocre because mediocrity is unthreatening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Levelers are one of the especially dangerous types of envy in the workplace because they\u2019ll try to bring you down if you\u2019re ever more successful than they are.<\/strong> They\u2019ll do this via passive-aggression or even by sabotaging your work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Type #2: Entitled Lazers<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>These types feel that they don\u2019t have to earn attention and success\u2014they deserve it.<\/strong> They\u2019ll do the minimum amount of work possible\u2014for example, they\u2019ll outline a novel but not actually write it\u2014and expect praise for this. In secret, these types don\u2019t think they can succeed, so they don\u2019t bother <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-develop-skills-2\/\">developing skills<\/a>. They\u2019re hostile towards those who have earned success, and they\u2019re usually narcissistic.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, William Talman, a low-level architect, was envious of his boss, Christopher Wren, the architect who designed London\u2019s St. Paul\u2019s Cathedral. Talman believed that he was just as talented as Wren and deserved the same assignments and honors. Talman dug through Wren\u2019s past, looking for anything he could use to discredit him. After years of this, Talman finally got some commissions from the king.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You can recognize these types in the workplace by the fact that they keep their position by being charming and strategic, not by doing any actual work.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Type #3: Insecure Bosses<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>These types occupy a high position but are insecure about it, so they envy anyone who might take it from them<\/strong>, even the people who work for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These types can be hard to recognize because we assume that people who have achieved a leadership role are secure. Sometimes, <strong>you can identify them in advance by their history of firing people for unusual reasons or because they\u2019re unhappy when you turn in good work.<\/strong> In other cases, you might only find out that you were working with this type after you\u2019ve done a good job on something and been fired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/disney-ceo-michael\/\">Disney CEO Michael Eisner<\/a> fired Jeffrey Katzenberg, who was head of the film studio. Eisner said it was because Katzenberg wasn\u2019t a team player, but in reality, it was because Katzenberg\u2019s work and talent threatened Eisner. Eisner continued to fire people who triggered his <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/overcoming-self-doubt\/\">self-doubt<\/a>.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>To deal with them, if you don\u2019t want to be fired, <strong>let them take credit for your ideas and work, and soothe their insecurities by deferring to them.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Type #4: Status Hunters<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>These enviers measure their relative superiority using status.<\/strong> You can recognize these types because they ask questions about money, such as what your salary is, what class you fly, if you own your home, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, the Yankees\u2019 Graig Nettles was a status hunter. He always wanted to talk with the other players about their salaries, and he was especially envious of Reggie Jackson, who was not only paid more but got more media attention. Jackson deserved both of these things\u2014he was a strong hitter and a character. Nettles, though, thought Jackson had gotten all of it by manipulating others. Nettles attacked Jackson with paradoxical praise and mean jokes, and made others dislike him. Race may have also played a role\u2014Nettles thought he had to be higher up because Jackson was Black.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If you rank higher than a status hunter, you\u2019re probably safe enough\u2014secretly they\u2019ll envy you, but they\u2019ll hide it with admiration. If you\u2019re at the same level though, they\u2019ll be constantly comparing themselves with you and attacking you if you get more. <strong>To deal with them, avoid telling them what you have and praise what they have.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Type #5: The Parasite<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>These enviers get close to the people they envy by becoming their staff or friends. <strong>They want two things: to have some of what their target has and to hurt their target.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, Yolanda Saldivar envied the singer Selena. Saldivar started a fan club, and then became the manager of Selena\u2019s clothing stores. Saldivar felt she deserved more and embezzled funds. When Selena\u2019s father asked Saldivar about the embezzlement, she murdered Selena.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>These enviers are harder to recognize because they\u2019re good at hiding their envy under praise and admiration, but <strong>you can identify them because they\u2019re overeager to get close to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Types of Envy in <strong>Enviable Circumstances<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Certain circumstances tend to trigger envy. If you find yourself in one of the following circumstances, it could be the opportune moment to identify enviers because they might display more cues than usual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Circumstance #1: Status changes. <\/strong>When your status changes for the better, the people you know, especially in your field, might feel envious. This circumstance is the most common trigger of envy, and people who are older or wrapping up their careers are more susceptible to this circumstance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When your status changes, don\u2019t brag. Consider joking self-deprecatingly or bringing up the element of luck. For your close friends, you can offer to help them if you can do it without being patronizing. Don\u2019t take any comments personally. If someone <em>else\u2019s <\/em>status changes suddenly, make sure not to praise them in front of other people in their field, or this might increase all types of envy directed at them.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, Robert Rubin, who worked at the investment bank Goldman Sachs, was very good at preempting envy. As he rose within the company, he became more deferential. He asked more junior people for their opinions and often used the phrase \u201cjust one man\u2019s opinion\u201d when referring to his own ideas.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Circumstance #2: Natural talent. <\/strong>If you have natural talent, people may envy you. Avoid displaying your talent around enviers and even consider revealing some flaws or telling people about past mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, John F. Kennedy had a lot of natural gifts including intelligence, charisma, and attractiveness. Once he revealed that he was flawed\u2014by launching the failed Bay of Pigs invasion\u2014he became far more popular.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Circumstance #3: Encountering non-enviers.<\/strong> Enviers hate people who don\u2019t feel envy because it makes the fact that they\u2019re consumed by envy much more obvious in comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Circumstance #4: Being a woman.<\/strong> People tend to envy women more than men, and this envy is often expressed through criticisms such as being too unwomanly or cold. Act humble to deflect envy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, illustrator and designer Paul Iribe was envious of Coco Chanel and criticized her. She stayed with him because she didn\u2019t want to be alone, but she later acknowledged that he hoped to ruin her.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Control Your Own Nature: Manage <\/strong>All Types of Envy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>As we\u2019ve learned, <strong>it\u2019s impossible to avoid feeling envy, so all you can do is learn to identify it and control your response to it.<\/strong> Because envy quickly and often unconsciously transforms into another emotion, you have to consciously pay attention to your instinctive reactions to figure out what envy feels like. For example, the next time you hear about someone in your field having success, monitor yourself. Before you feel angry or hostile, first you\u2019ll feel a whiff of envy. Notice it so you\u2019re aware of it the next time it strikes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you\u2019ve identified that what you\u2019re feeling is envy, use the following strategies to defuse it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Get closer to whomever you envy. <\/strong>Most people\u2019s lives aren\u2019t as perfect as they appear, and when you know more about a person, you\u2019ll realize that while they may be enviable in certain areas, there are parts of their lives you won\u2019t envy at all (a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/bad-boss-characteristics\/\">bad boss<\/a>, a great husband but terrible in-laws, and so on). You\u2019re not trying to knock the person down, just see the whole picture.<\/li><li><strong>Remember that certain desirable-looking circumstances, such as fame and wealth, come with built-in downsides.<\/strong>&nbsp;<ul><li>For example, famous people have little privacy.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><strong>Compare yourself with people who have less rather than more.<\/strong> You won\u2019t be envious of these people because you\u2019re superior to them, and you\u2019ll also develop your empathy and gratitude.<\/li><li><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-always-be-grateful-for-what-you-have\/\">Be grateful for what you have<\/a>. <\/strong>Write a list of all the good things you have in your life so that you can focus on them instead of what you don\u2019t have.<\/li><li><strong>Empathize with successful people.<\/strong> When something good happens to someone, don\u2019t just admire or congratulate them, actually try to feel the same feelings of joy that they must be experiencing. The other person will feel your mirroring and it will strengthen your relationship.<\/li><li><strong>Rise up instead of tear down.<\/strong> When someone is superior to you, use her status as motivation to reach her level (instead of trying to hurt her and bring her down to yours). To rise up, confidently believe you\u2019re capable and develop discipline and work ethic.<\/li><li><strong>Admire humanity as a species.<\/strong> Admiration involves admitting that someone else is superior without feeling any pain. We\u2019re all humans, so when one of us does something impressive, that raises up the whole species. You can start by admiring dead people, because it\u2019s easier, but move on to living as well.<\/li><li><strong>Look for happiness outside of success.<\/strong> Create moments where you\u2019re happy because of your surroundings or in awe of the majesty of life.&nbsp;<ul><li>For example, contemplate the universe or admire the beauty of a landscape.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><strong>Find a purpose.<\/strong> If you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/having-a-purpose-in-life\/\">have a purpose<\/a>, it\u2019s easier to focus on yourself instead of others. When you succeed, the satisfaction is internal rather than external. For more on purpose, see the section on personal authority in Law #10: People Have Conflicted Feelings, Especially About Authority Figures.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Extended Example: Jane William<\/strong>s<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jane Williams is an example of a dangerous envier\u2014her envy drove her to attack and hurt her more successful friend Mary Shelley.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When Jane first met Mary, Jane both admired and envied her. Mary was an accomplished writer with an exciting life, famous friends, and a desirable husband. Jane was a musician who had never had much success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Jane repressed her envy and became friends with Mary.<\/strong> Jane liked that Mary liked her, but the closer they became, the more obvious it was that Mary was superior. <strong>To live with this, Jane had to cast Mary as someone who didn\u2019t deserve to be envied. <\/strong>Mary wasn\u2019t talented, she was lucky\u2014<em>Frankenstein<\/em> was only successful because Mary had literary parents and friends. Mary was moody (two of Mary\u2019s children had recently died), not charming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Because Jane had decided Mary was a bad person, Jane felt justified in trying to steal her husband and spread rumors.<\/strong> Mary\u2019s friends pulled away from her, and she didn\u2019t know why. Jane pulled away too, confusing and hurting Mary even more because by that point Jane was one of Mary\u2019s closest friends<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mary finally found out that Jane had been spreading rumors about her. Mary didn\u2019t understand what had driven Jane to do this, but she realized Jane had been attacking her in other ways too\u2014she sometimes caught Jane looking at her with hostility or encouraging her to do things that weren\u2019t in her best interest. Mary eventually ended the relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are the different types of envy? How can you tell if someone is being envious? There are 5 main types of envy. Using this guide, you&#8217;ll be able to identify enviers, their type, and decide what to do about them. Keep reading to find out the types of envy and what you can do about them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":20701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,24],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-20619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-society","tag-the-laws-of-human-nature","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Types of Envy: Can You Identify Them? - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are there different types of envy? 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