{"id":20582,"date":"2020-12-16T20:57:14","date_gmt":"2020-12-17T00:57:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=20582"},"modified":"2020-12-19T17:43:11","modified_gmt":"2020-12-19T21:43:11","slug":"different-types-of-narcissists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/","title":{"rendered":"Different Types of Narcissists &#038; How to Handle Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are there different types of narcissists? How many types of narcissists are there and how do you handle them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Knowing the different types of narcissists can help you learn to manage them. Each type of narcissist sees things differently, and learning their behavior can help you navigate relationships with them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more about the different types of narcissists and how to deal with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Different Types of Narcissists<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There are three different types of narcissists. By learning about these different types of narcissists, you can learn how to manage them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Category #1: Deep Narcissists<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Deep narcissists lack a self-image, so the only way they can meet their need for attention is by getting it from others.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As children, <strong>some extroverted deep narcissists do perfectly well. They learn how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/48-laws-of-power-law-6-create-an-air-of-mystery\/\">attract attention<\/a>,<\/strong> and people often think they\u2019re vivacious and social. <strong>Introverts, on the other hand, inaccurately create a fantasy self-image<\/strong> that\u2019s far superior to themselves and any real people. This image is unrealistic, so no one, including themselves, will validate it, and they\u2019re constantly editing it to try to come up with something that sticks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Both extroverted and introverted deep narcissists struggle once they\u2019re in their twenties and thirties.<\/strong> People get tired of extroverts\u2019 dramatic bids for attention, and extroverts have to find new social circles regularly. Introverts further isolate themselves because they\u2019re both socially awkward and sure they\u2019re better than everyone else, and no one wants to spend time with that kind of person. Sometimes, deep narcissists become addicted to alcohol or drugs.&nbsp;This is one of the different types of narcissists. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To identify deep narcissists, look for the following flags:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>When challenged or insulted, they get righteously angry or act victimized (they have no internal mechanism to deal with these feelings).&nbsp;<\/li><li>They take everything personally.<\/li><li>They think they have a lot of enemies.<\/li><li>They want to control others, see them as self-objects (part of themselves), and think the only point of others is to give them attention.<ul><li>For example, in a romantic relationship, they force their partners to end all their other relationships so they get all their attention.<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li>They make others feel guilty for not paying them enough attention.<\/li><li>They get impatient or bored when you talk to them about something that doesn\u2019t affect them, and they try to bring the conversation back to themselves.<\/li><li>They\u2019re envious when others <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/grab-attention\/\">get attention<\/a>.<\/li><li>They\u2019re very self-confident because this serves two purposes: gaining attention and hiding insecurities. However, this self-confidence is usually unjustified\u2014they aren\u2019t actually as competent as they appear to be.<\/li><li>Often, they struggle with their jobs because they\u2019re so worried about what others think of them that it\u2019s hard to concentrate on anything outside themselves. (There is one exception\u2014those who use their professional accomplishments to garner attention.)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Subcategories of Deep Narcissists<\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>There are four types of deep narcissists. If no more specific directions are given on how to handle each type, you should avoid them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Type #1: Leaders<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>These deep narcissists are more driven than most and put this energy towards their work.<\/strong> People are drawn to them because their self-confidence makes them seem competent, and some of their surprising behaviors that don\u2019t meet social conventions seem authentic and honest. They can be dangerous in romantic relationships and particularly in leadership positions, because the more people who follow them, the more important they feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, most dictators are narcissistic leaders.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>They tend to be <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/weak-leaders\/\">bad leaders<\/a>. If challenged, they rage. They create problems only they can solve to demonstrate that they\u2019re powerful and gain them more attention. <strong>Whatever organization or group they lead usually struggles because they need to control everyone.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To deal with these types, avoid joining their groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Type #2: Controllers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>This is one of the different types of narcissists. These types of narcissists are more ambitious, energetic, and insecure than other deep narcissists.<\/strong> They\u2019re so sensitive to what others think of them that they\u2019re constantly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-pay-attention\/\">paying attention<\/a> to others\u2019 feelings and thoughts. <strong>At some point, these narcissists realize that their powers of observation can be used to learn about other people\u2019s self-images.<\/strong> This allows these narcissists to mimic empathy, be likable, appear self-confident, and manipulate people. They\u2019re most dangerous when they\u2019re being charming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, when Joseph Stalin first became premier of the Soviet Union, he was charming, funny, representative of an average person, and he made everyone he met feel important.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>These narcissists\u2019 interactions aren\u2019t completely faked. Otherwise, they would never draw anyone in. However, once the interaction is over, they ax any positive feelings\u2014if they didn\u2019t, they\u2019d be vulnerable. The next time they encounter the same people, they act cold, which confuses people and makes them want to feel the camaraderie again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Once they have power, they get resentful that they ever had to give other people attention. <\/strong>They\u2019ll turn away from friends and create rock-and-a-hard-place situations.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>For example, Stalin was angry with his lieutenants both when they agreed with him\u2014they were useless and he had to do all the work himself\u2014and when they disagreed\u2014how dare they question him.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>To identify this type of narcissist:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Scrutinize their empathy. <\/strong>While they may appear likable, they don\u2019t truly pay attention to you and they always pull back.<\/li><li><strong>Study their past.<\/strong> They often have troubled childhoods and have never had an intimate relationship. If people from their past try to warn you about them, pay attention.<\/li><li><strong>Look at their staff.<\/strong> If anyone who serves them looks scared, this is a red flag.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s hard to avoid these narcissists because they\u2019re so ambitious they often end up in positions of power, but once you\u2019ve identified them, stay away. It\u2019s the only way to be safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Type #3: Theatrical<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>These narcissists hide the fact that they crave attention because they know it would make them unlikeable.<\/strong> They disguise their narcissism by playing roles and inciting drama, and they often go to extreme lengths to seem moral or victimized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The only way to deal with this type of narcissist is to avoid being drawn in by the show. If someone is always more victimized or more moral than anyone else, be suspicious, and look for drama in their past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, French nun Jeanne de Belciel was a theatrical narcissist. When she was young, her need for attention so annoyed her parents that they sent her to a convent in Poitiers. There, she was sarcastic and superior, which got her sent off to another convent, this time in Loudun. Since her previous two acts hadn\u2019t worked, in Loudun, she decided to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/become-an-expert\/\">become an expert<\/a> in piousness. This approach did work\u2014when the prioress left, Jeanne succeeded her. <strong>Being in charge wasn\u2019t enough, however, so she dramatically pretended to be possessed, which resulted in public exorcisms, the execution of her supposed sorcerer, self-mutilation, and once she was cured, a tour of Europe to show off how blessed she was.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Type #4: Partner-Enhanced<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Narcissism isn\u2019t limited to a single person; it can appear in a relationship as well. <strong>Partners who don\u2019t understand each other\u2019s values and aren\u2019t willing to learn empathy can encourage narcissistic tendencies in the other person.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To avoid this situation, employ empathy by learning more about the other person. <strong>When you treat someone with empathy, they can\u2019t be defensive because you\u2019re coming at things from their point of view.<\/strong> When one person is empathetic, this encourages the other person to be empathetic as well. (Being defensive is a lot of work and most people don\u2019t want to do it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, Leo Tolstoy and Sonya Behrs were a narcissistic couple. Leo was a deep narcissist and Sonya was fairly self-absorbed as well. Their trouble started just before their marriage when Leo asked Sonya to read his diaries. He asked her to do this because he didn\u2019t want there to be any secrets in their relationship. She, on the other hand, thought he\u2019d asked her to read them because he didn\u2019t want to marry her\u2014the diaries were full of descriptions of his affairs, encounters at brothels, STIs, and other vices. Her reaction made Leo think she didn\u2019t love <em>him<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They did marry, but there was more conflict, often caused by one of them not understanding the other\u2019s motivations. Leo would do something that annoyed Sonya, she\u2019d do something extreme in response, and he\u2019d feel bad and repent. Then, she\u2019d do something that made him regret his repentance. They were never happy together. Leo eventually ran away, Sonya attempted suicide unsuccessfully and then chased him, and Leo fell ill while fleeing and died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Category #2: Functional Narcissists<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Most of us are functional narcissists\u2014self-absorbed, but able to operate because we get enough attention from our self-image that we have time and energy to focus on things outside of ourselves.<\/strong> Functional narcissists have moments of deeper narcissism when something goes wrong in their lives, but they can usually recover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Category #3: Healthy Narcissists<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Healthy narcissists have a strong self-image and they don\u2019t need as much attention from others. <\/strong>They\u2019ve accepted that they\u2019re flawed, which makes their self-image even stronger because it\u2019s close to reality. As a result, <strong>they can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-handle-criticism\/\">handle criticism<\/a>, and they can focus outside of themselves more easily so they tend to be professionally or artistically successful.<\/strong> This success creates validation, which further strengthens their sense of self.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are there different types of narcissists? How many types of narcissists are there and how do you handle them? Knowing the different types of narcissists can help you learn to manage them. Each type of narcissist sees things differently, and learning their behavior can help you navigate relationships with them. Read more about the different types of narcissists and how to deal with them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":20605,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[167],"class_list":["post-20582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-the-laws-of-human-nature","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Different Types of Narcissists &amp; How to Handle Them - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are different types of narcissists. But how do you manage the narcissists in your life? These methods can help you. Read more.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Different Types of Narcissists &amp; How to Handle Them\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are different types of narcissists. But how do you manage the narcissists in your life? These methods can help you. Read more.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-12-17T00:57:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-12-19T21:43:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/man-camera-mirror-photography-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Carrie Cabral\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2ababb7c63a94ff5d2190f71dc417d56\"},\"headline\":\"Different Types of Narcissists &#038; How to Handle Them\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-12-17T00:57:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-19T21:43:11+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\"},\"wordCount\":1605,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/man-camera-mirror-photography-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Laws of Human Nature\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/\",\"name\":\"Different Types of Narcissists & How to Handle Them - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-types-of-narcissists\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/man-camera-mirror-photography-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-12-17T00:57:14+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-19T21:43:11+00:00\",\"description\":\"There are different types of narcissists. 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