{"id":186,"date":"2019-07-01T22:05:37","date_gmt":"2019-07-02T02:05:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=186"},"modified":"2022-04-14T17:30:42","modified_gmt":"2022-04-14T21:30:42","slug":"how-to-control-anger-and-manage-anger-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-control-anger-and-manage-anger-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Control Anger\u2014and Stop Being Mad"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you feel angry all the time? Do you have anger issues and have angry outbursts? Do you want to stop being angry?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s a complete guide on understanding your anger, what it is, how NOT to control your anger, and what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Here are general rules for managing any negative emotion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Don\u2019t dwell on the emotion and keep mulling it over.<\/strong> Ruminating on an emotion doesn\u2019t manage it–it actually extends the emotional reaction and can even increase the emotional distress.<\/li>
  2. Self-awareness helps you catch a negative emotional response early<\/strong> and identify it correctly.<\/li>
  3. Most negative emotional responses are built on thoughts or assumptions that confirm the response–so you can manage almost any negative emotional response by challenging the thoughts and assumptions <\/strong>that made you feel it in the first place.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Understanding Your Anger<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    What <\/strong>Anger Is<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    We get angry when we feel attacked<\/strong>. It could be someone actively threatening our physical safety, dangerously cutting us off on the road, insulting us with words, or it could be something frustrating us in our pursuit of a goal. All these are perceived forms of attack, and anger is our brain preparing us to fight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    We\u2019re also more prone to get angry when we\u2019re more stressed. It\u2019s much easier to shrug things off when your day is going well; if your day is going poorly, little things that might not even get to you on a good day can easily set off your temper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How NOT to Manage Your Anger<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    The quickest way to continue feeling angry is to dwell on what\u2019s making you angry. The longer we think about our anger, the more our brain comes up with self-justifications and good reasons that we should feel angry. Anger builds on anger. This is absolutely a bad way to deal with anger<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Say someone dangerously cuts you off while driving and you get angry. \u201cWhat was that person thinking? They could have killed me. What would happen to my kids if I died? That person could have ruined my life and the lives of the people I care about! And for what? Probably for nothing. Where they\u2019re going isn\u2019t important enough to kill people for it. Jeez, no one pays attention to anyone but themselves anymore\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Every subsequent angry thought after the initial one fans the flames, keeping you angry and sometimes even increasing how angry you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    How to Control Your Anger<\/strong> and Stop Being Mad<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    The quickest way to manager your anger is to undermine the assumptions that are making you angry<\/strong> in the first place, usually by reframing the situation in a more positive light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n