{"id":1805,"date":"2019-10-01T13:44:13","date_gmt":"2019-10-01T17:44:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=1805"},"modified":"2025-09-03T14:26:28","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:26:28","slug":"shawn-westover","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/shawn-westover\/","title":{"rendered":"Shawn Westover: Tara Westover\u2019s Brother and Abuser"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Who is Shawn Westover? What is Shawn’s relationship with his sister Tara like? And why doesn’t Tara Westover reveal his real name?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover is the fictitious name Tara Westover gives to one of her brothers in her memoir Educated<\/em>. We’ll look at Shawn Westover’s relationship with the author and cover parts of Educated<\/em> that might indicate why Tara chose not to reveal Shawn’s real name, even though she used the real names of at least three of her four other brothers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of Shortform\u2019s guide to emotional intelligence<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara Gets to Know Shawn Westover<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the weeks following a car crash, Tara experienced great difficulty moving her neck. Her mother\u2019s homeopathic treatments and energy healing did nothing to alleviate her pain.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was at this time that a figure with whom she\u2019d had little previous contact entered her life: her older brother Shawn Westover. Being the youngest, Tara had a minimal relationship with Shawn up to this point, as he had left the family home at 17 to pursue work in trucking and welding. He had now returned home after many years of being away. Shawn had an unsavory reputation in the community<\/strong>, being well-known as a bully, brawler, and all-around provocateur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara soon had her own firsthand experience with Shawn\u2019s volatility when he, without warning, put his hands around her head and violently twisted it<\/strong>\u2014to help pop her neck back into place following the accident, or so he claimed. This harsh \u201ctreatment\u201d actually did <\/em>help: Tara could once again pivot her neck. But his non-consensual laying of hands on Tara foreshadowed what was to come between the two siblings. Tara would spend much of the rest of her time on Buck\u2019s Peak subject to Shawn\u2019s displays of kindness, which were all too often followed by displays of terrifying cruelty and violence.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other warning signs of Shawn\u2019s unstable and combative personality soon emerged. When he would drive her to rehearsals at the theater, Shawn would bait and bully Tara\u2019s friends there. He would flick off their hats or knock soda out of their hands, to dominate and humiliate them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Long-Haul Trucking Trip<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Shortly after Shawn Westover came back home, he invited Tara to come along with him on a long-haul trucking job down the West Coast. Tara agreed, excited by the possibility of travel and the opportunity to spend time with this mysterious older brother about whom she knew so little.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The trip was hazardous from the start: Shawn was operating on little sleep and even faked the reports at inspection points to make it look like he was getting more rest than he actually was. The more menacing side of his personality also presented itself to Tara. One night, he decided to teach her martial arts, explaining to her how to inflict maximum damage and pain<\/strong> on one\u2019s opponent with only two fingers. He also showed her techniques like how to throw her full body weight behind a punch and crush someone\u2019s windpipe. Clearly, Shawn had an appetite for violence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But Tara was still enjoying the time with her brother. She recalls passing the time with him by playing elaborate word games, learning trucker lingo, eating junk food, and playing video games\u2014all new experiences for her. The undercurrent of violence was there, but had not yet fully surfaced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn’s Girlfriend Sadie<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tara was also learning that Shawn could be emotionally <\/em>abusive, especially to women and girls. <\/strong>He\u2019d become acquainted with a girl named Sadie who was involved in the same theater as Tara. Sadie had a crush on Shawn Westover, and he used that leverage to manipulate and psychologically torture this girl every chance he got.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he saw her speaking with another boy, Shawn would give Sadie the cold shoulder and refuse to speak to her. Other times, he would force her to buy items for him, only to change his mind and chastise her for bringing him the wrong thing. He would repeat this exercise with her several times over the course of a given night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, Sadie began altering her behavior to appease Shawn\u2019s volatile personality<\/strong>. She even demanded that boys at school stop walking next to her, lest Shawn see them when he picked her up after school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover’s First A<\/strong>ssault on Tara<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, it would be Tara\u2019s turn to be a direct recipient of Shawn\u2019s wrath. One day, Shawn Westover ordered her to fetch him a glass of water, and threatened not to drive her into town the next day if she didn\u2019t comply. Perhaps tired of his bossiness, Tara dumped the glass on his head. Shawn\u2019s reaction was swift and brutal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He chased Tara down the hallway and demanded she apologize. When she refused, he lifted her off the ground by her hair, dragged her into the bathroom, and pushed her head into the toilet<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He then used on her one of the same torture techniques he had taught her on their recent road trip: twisting her wrist and pushing it in a spiral against her inner forearm, causing excruciating pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accusations of Indecency<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tara turned 15 in September 2001. She was now fully in puberty, which brought increased attention to her body and new efforts by the men in her life to control her sexuality<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She recalls her body changing at this time as she reached sexual maturity. Most of all, the full weight of her family\u2019s highly patriarchal and often misogynistic views on women, marriage, and sexuality<\/strong> soon began to press upon Tara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover began to shame Tara for her alleged acts of impropriety. <\/strong>He harshly chastised her for her friendship with Charles, a young man she met at the theatre, telling Tara that she was developing a reputation for being \u201cthat<\/em> kind of girl.\u201d He also started calling her a \u201cwhore\u201d for wearing makeup and lip gloss. One night, as punishment, Shawn forced his youngest sister to walk home for 12 miles in the sub-zero conditions of an Idaho winter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The abuse only continued as Tara got deeper into her teen years. One morning, she woke up to a blinding pain of what felt like needles in her brain and throat. It dawned on her that Shawn was astride her, choking her with both hands, while screaming \u201cSlut!\u201d and \u201cWhore!<\/strong>\u201d It was only through the intervention of her mother and Tyler that Tara survived the assault. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet Shawn could also be fiercely protective of Tara. This protectiveness, too, may have been rooted in Shawn\u2019s need for dominance and control (and his patriarchal notions about needing to \u201cguard\u201d women), but it was certainly a part of his overall behavior toward his sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, Tara recalls Shawn standing up to Gene and physically threatening him when he saw that Gene had tried to force Tara to operate a dangerous hydraulic metal-cutting tool at the junkyard. Indeed, Shawn was the only <\/em>one who could stand up to Gene on a consistent basis\u2014and win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara\u2019s feelings toward Shawn were complicated<\/strong>. On the one hand, he was a violent abuser who seemed to have little regard for the physical and emotional safety<\/a> of others. On the other hand, however, she did enjoy a special bond with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover’s Second Assault<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Tara came home from her sophomore year of college for Thanksgiving. Her friend Charles joined the Westovers for dinner for the holiday. It would be an evening Tara would never forget. Shawn Westover was in a particularly hostile mood at dinner, making cruel and snide remarks to Tara and Charles. When Tara told Shawn not to touch her after he jabbed one of his fingers into her ribs, the situation rapidly escalated out of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn pinned her down to the floor (just out of view of everyone else), cutting off airflow through her windpipe<\/strong>. Later on in the evening, he gut-punched her as she was bringing dinner rolls to the table. When Tara protested again (her resistance was obviously a trigger for him), Shawn once more pinned Tara to the floor and dragged her to the bathroom, where he shoved her face into the toilet. <\/strong>In the course of this attack, Tara broke her toe. This time, the assault was in full view of the family\u2014and Charles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara hated the idea of Charles seeing her in this state\u2014as a victim, a helpless pawn of Shawn\u2019s. So she tried to present it as a game, in which Shawn was only playfully roughhousing with her and there was no need to worry. She even made a point of laughing<\/a> throughout her assault, to give off the impression that everything was just a joke, happening with her full consent.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Charles was deeply disturbed by the incident and by Tara\u2019s refusal to acknowledge what had really happened. He parted ways with her, telling Tara that she <\/em>was the only one who could rescue herself from her family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover’s Final Assault<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Shawn would attack Tara on one more occasion. When she was back home a few weeks later for Christmas, she was out driving with Shawn Westover when they happened upon Charles\u2019 car in the parking lot of the local gas station. Shawn, with cunning instinct, immediately recognized that Tara didn\u2019t want Charles to see her with Shawn, especially since she was covered in soot and grime from the junkyard. Shawn, of course, saw an opportunity to inflict maximum humiliation and emotional trauma on his younger sister<\/strong>. He demanded that she accompany him inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she refused, he snapped. He dragged her out of the car and pinned her face-down onto the asphalt parking lot, breaking her wrist and ankle in the process<\/strong>. This attack was in public, so there were plenty of onlookers (though thankfully not Charles).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara retreated into the same defensive shell that she\u2019d used during the Thanksgiving attack the month before: she pretended that it was all a joke. She made a public show of laughing as Shawn paraded her through the store at the gas station<\/strong>, in front of the people who\u2019d witnessed the attack in the parking lot just minutes before. She ignored the pain from her wrist and ankle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they returned home, Tara went to her room to write about the experience in her diary. She couldn\u2019t understand why Shawn did these things to her, even when she\u2019d told him not to touch her and had begged <\/em>him to stop. Later, Shawn came into her room with an ice pack and told her that she should always feel free to tell him if his \u201cfun and games\u201d went too far. In other words, she <\/em>was responsible for not having stopped him.<\/strong> He was gaslighting her, denying her reality, and making her think that she had imagined <\/em>the entire encounter as being more violent than it really was. It was, yet again, classic abuser behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tara had long convinced herself that Shawn\u2019s violence was her <\/em>fault\u2014that if she\u2019d just asked Shawn to stop in the right way, he would have. This night, however, she wrote about the experience in her diary plainly and honestly,<\/strong> without resorting to vague or euphemistic language. It was one of her first steps toward recognizing what Shawn truly was\u2014and recognizing, also, how her family had implicitly condoned his abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years later, as a survivor, Tara would understand why she had come to believe that Shawn\u2019s emotional manipulation had all been her fault. She saw that it was more comforting to accept the abuse as stemming from a flaw in herself, rather than in him\u2014because if it was her<\/em> defect, she would at least be able to control it. She was displaying a common symptom of abuse victims, that of sympathizing with their abuser or rationalizing away the abuse they suffer.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shawn Westover’s abuse of Tara may indicate why she chose to give him a fictitious name in her memoir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Who is Shawn Westover? What is Shawn’s relationship with his sister Tara like? And why doesn’t Tara Westover reveal his real name? Shawn Westover is the fictitious name Tara Westover gives to one of her brothers in her memoir Educated. 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