{"id":1582,"date":"2026-01-14T19:41:48","date_gmt":"2026-01-14T23:41:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=1582"},"modified":"2026-01-15T22:48:41","modified_gmt":"2026-01-16T02:48:41","slug":"positional-bargaining","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/positional-bargaining\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pitfalls of Positional Bargaining &amp; What to Do Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>When we approach a conflict, most of us instinctively default to positional bargaining, a &#8220;dig in your heels&#8221; tactic where each side fights for a rigid demand. While common in everything from used car sales to international diplomacy, this tug-of-war approach often leads to stalled agreements and damaged relationships. According to negotiation theorists Roger Fisher and William Ury, the key to a successful outcome isn&#8217;t playing &#8220;hard&#8221; or &#8220;soft,&#8221; but shifting toward a strategy that prioritizes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/mutual-gain\/\">mutual gain<\/a> and objective fairness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This article explores why positional bargaining fails to meet the three criteria of a wise negotiation: efficiency, efficacy, and relationship preservation. By understanding the pitfalls of traditional haggling, you can transition to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/principled-negotiation\/\">principled negotiation<\/a>, a framework designed to produce better results in half the time. Read on to learn how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/separate-the-people-from-the-problem\/\">separate the people from the problem<\/a> and focus on interests rather than demands to secure agreements that actually last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Originally Published:\u00a0September 19, 2019<\/em><br><em>Last Updated:<\/em> <em>January 14, 2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-yoast-seo-table-of-contents yoast-table-of-contents\"><h2>Table of Contents<\/h2><ul><li><a href=\"#h-the-problem-positional-bargaining\" data-level=\"2\">The Problem: Positional Bargaining<\/a><ul><li><a href=\"#h-what-is-positional-bargaining\" data-level=\"3\">What Is Positional Bargaining?<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-3-criteria-for-a-successful-negotiation\" data-level=\"3\">3 Criteria for a Successful Negotiation<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-why-positional-bargaining-fails\" data-level=\"3\">Why Positional Bargaining Fails<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-the-solution-principled-negotiation\" data-level=\"2\">The Solution: Principled Negotiation<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#h-negotiation-prep-worksheet\" data-level=\"2\">Negotiation Prep Worksheet<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-problem-positional-bargaining\">The Problem: Positional Bargaining<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Despite how often we find ourselves in situations that require negotiation, most of us aren\u2019t particularly skilled at it. According to Roger Fisher and William Ury in their book <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/getting-to-yes\/preview\" rel=\"nofollow\">Getting to Yes<\/a><\/em>, this is largely because we rely on traditional tactics\u2014an approach that could be called the <strong>\u201cdig in your heels\u201d method<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In &#8220;dig in your heels&#8221; negotiations, each party holds firm on a specific demand, defends it vigorously, and slowly inches toward a middle ground. This is known as <strong>positional bargaining<\/strong>, and it regularly leads to agreements that are unfair, suboptimal, and damaging to relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-positional-bargaining\">What Is Positional Bargaining?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In positional bargaining, each side starts with a rigid position, argues for it, and bargains to reach a compromise. A classic example is haggling over the price of a used car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>The seller lists it at $15,000, you counter with $10,000, but neither of you is being entirely honest about what you\u2019d actually accept. You spend the next hour trading offers back and forth, each trying to give up as little ground as possible, until you eventually meet around $12,500\u2014a number that doesn\u2019t satisfy you or the seller and leaves you both wondering if you got taken advantage of.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-criteria-for-a-successful-negotiation\">3 Criteria for a Successful Negotiation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To understand why this method fails, we must look at the three criteria for a truly <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negotiation-skills-tactics-techniques\/\">successful negotiation<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>The Outcome:<\/strong> The agreement must be <strong>wise<\/strong>, meaning it meets the interests of each side and is fair and lasting.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The Process:<\/strong> It must be <strong>efficient<\/strong>, producing results without wasting time.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The Relationship:<\/strong> It must <strong>strengthen the bond<\/strong> between parties\u2014or at least not damage it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Positional bargaining falls short on all three counts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-positional-bargaining-fails\">Why Positional Bargaining Fails<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. It produces bad outcomes<\/strong>. Negotiators become rigid. The harder you try to convince the other side of your &#8220;rightness,&#8221; the more committed you become to your position to save face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, the 1961 U.S.-Soviet nuclear test ban talks failed because of rigid positions on the number of annual on-site inspections (the Soviets wanted three; the U.S. wanted ten). They became so bogged down in these numbers that they never even defined the <em>procedure<\/em> of the inspections. By focusing on positions rather than the underlying interests\u2014minimal intrusion for the Soviets and verification for the U.S.\u2014they missed an opportunity to avoid the ensuing arms race.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. It&#8217;s inefficient<\/strong>. The give-and-take of &#8220;digging in your heels&#8221; is time-consuming. Negotiators often start with unreasonable positions and make tiny, incremental concessions to avoid &#8220;losing.&#8221; These tactics, along with stalling or threatening to walk out, turn a simple decision into an exhausting ordeal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. It undermines relationships<\/strong>. When negotiation becomes a struggle of wills, anger and resentment build. These bad feelings linger, making it harder for the two sides to work together in the future. This is especially risky in &#8220;Soft&#8221; bargaining\u2014often used by friends or family\u2014where one party makes overly lenient concessions just to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-avoid-conflict-in-relationships\/\">avoid conflict<\/a>. They may reach an agreement, but they often end up feeling bitter or &#8220;losing their shirt&#8221; to a hardball negotiator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4. It fails in complex groups<\/strong> In multilateral talks (like UN negotiations involving 150 countries), the inefficiency is magnified. When every party has a position to defend, it becomes nearly impossible to change course or find substantive common ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-solution-principled-negotiation\">The Solution: Principled Negotiation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t have to choose between being a &#8220;hard&#8221; or &#8220;soft&#8221; bargainer. Instead, Fisher and Ury suggest <strong>principled negotiation<\/strong> (negotiating on the merits). This straightforward method allows sides to work toward mutual interests through four key components:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>People:<\/strong> Separate the personalities and emotions from the issue.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Interests:<\/strong> Focus on the <em>reasons<\/em> underlying positions rather than the positions themselves.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Options:<\/strong> Brainstorm multiple solutions based on mutual gain.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Criteria:<\/strong> Base the final agreement on objective, fair standards (like market value or expert opinion).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>By shifting from a &#8220;tug-of-war&#8221; over positions to a collaborative search for interests, you avoid the traps of the &#8220;dig in your heels&#8221; method and move toward agreements that actually last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><tbody><tr><td><strong>When to Take an Uncompromising Stand<\/strong><br><br>Although the authors write that digging in your heels is usually counterproductive, some negotiation experts write that sometimes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shapironegotiations.com\/blog\/what-are-the-5-negotiation-styles\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">it can be effective to take an uncompromising position<\/a>. This mindset proves particularly valuable in time-sensitive situations where delays could prove costly or when specific terms are non-negotiable and must be secured exactly as needed. This approach also serves as an effective counter-strategy when the <em>opposing <\/em>side uses similar tactics, creating balance rather than allowing one party to dominate.<br><br>For example, let\u2019s say you see an apartment listed at $1,800 per month. You know that units in the building rent for $1,600, and that the \u201cFor Rent\u201d sign has been up for two months. The landlord takes an aggressive approach: \u201cI have two other applicants ready to sign today at full price. If you want it, I need your decision and deposit right now\u2014no negotiations.\u201d But you hold firm, responding, \u201cI\u2019ll sign a one-year lease today for $1,600 per month. That\u2019s my offer.\u201d When the landlord mentions the other applicants again, you simply reply, \u201cI understand. I have another apartment I&#8217;m viewing this afternoon at $1,550,\u201d as you start to walk out.<br><br>The landlord quickly changes his tone and accepts your $1,600 offer. Your uncompromising stance succeeded as a counter-strategy to his bullying tactics. By refusing to be intimidated and matching his pressure with equal resolve, you balanced the power dynamic. Without this firm approach, any willingness to negotiate upward would have signaled weakness and encouraged him to push for more. Standing pat neutralized his high-pressure game and saved you $200 monthly.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-negotiation-prep-worksheet\">Negotiation Prep Worksheet<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This &#8220;Negotiation Prep Worksheet,&#8221; based on these four principled components, is a great way to turn the theory into a practical tool. To make this worksheet effective, we break it down into the four pillars of principled negotiation. You can fill this out before your next negotiation to ensure you stay out of the &#8220;positional&#8221; trap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. People: Separate the Person from the Problem<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Instead of seeing the other party as an adversary, see them as a partner in solving a puzzle.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>What are their likely emotions?<\/strong> (Fear of looking weak? Pressure from a boss?)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>How can I acknowledge their concerns?<\/strong> (Draft a phrase: <em>&#8220;I understand that [concern] is a priority for you&#8230;&#8221;<\/em>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Relationship goal:<\/strong> How do I want our relationship to look <em>after<\/em> this deal is signed?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Interests: Focus on the &#8220;Why&#8221;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>A position is what you decided. An interest is what caused you to decide.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>My Interests:<\/strong> List the 3 things you actually need (e.g., &#8220;I need a car that is reliable for winter,&#8221; not &#8220;I need this car for $12k&#8221;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Their Interests:<\/strong> Why might they be saying &#8220;No&#8221; right now? What are their underlying needs (e.g., &#8220;They need the cash quickly for a down payment&#8221;)?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Options: Brainstorm for Mutual Gain<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Avoid searching for a single answer; look for ways to expand the pie.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Option A (The Win-Win):<\/strong> If we can&#8217;t agree on price, could we agree on [delivery date\/warranty\/extra service]?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Option B (The Trade-off):<\/strong> &#8220;I can give you [X] if you can provide [Y].&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Criteria: Use Objective Standards<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Stop the &#8220;tug-of-war&#8221; by pointing to facts outside of either person\u2019s control.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Market Value:<\/strong> What are similar items\/services selling for right now?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Precedent:<\/strong> How was this handled in the past?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Professional Standards:<\/strong> Is there an industry benchmark or legal requirement we can use as a &#8220;fairness&#8221; anchor?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Summary: The Transition<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To keep your mindset in the right place, keep this comparison in mind as you walk into the room:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><thead><tr><td><strong>Instead of&#8230; (Positional Bargaining)<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>Try&#8230; (Principled Negotiation)<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><\/thead><tbody><tr><td>Demanding a specific number<\/td><td>Asking: &#8220;What is the reasoning behind that number?&#8221;<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Making a small concession to be &#8220;nice&#8221;<\/td><td>Offering a trade based on mutual interests.<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Digging in your heels<\/td><td>Saying: &#8220;Let&#8217;s look at the market data together.&#8221;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When we approach a conflict, most of us instinctively default to positional bargaining, a &#8220;dig in your heels&#8221; tactic where each side fights for a rigid demand. While common in everything from used car sales to international diplomacy, this tug-of-war approach often leads to stalled agreements and damaged relationships. According to negotiation theorists Roger Fisher and William Ury, the key to a successful outcome isn&#8217;t playing &#8220;hard&#8221; or &#8220;soft,&#8221; but shifting toward a strategy that prioritizes mutual gain and objective fairness. This article explores why positional bargaining fails to meet the three criteria of a wise negotiation: efficiency, efficacy, and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":1559,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,43],"tags":[46],"class_list":["post-1582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-self-improvement","tag-getting-to-yes","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Pitfalls of Positional Bargaining &amp; What to Do Instead - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There&#039;s a better way than digging in your heels. Discover why positional bargaining fails, and learn how to reach better agreements faster.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/positional-bargaining\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Pitfalls of Positional Bargaining &amp; What to Do Instead\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There&#039;s a better way than digging in your heels. 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