{"id":14874,"date":"2020-09-15T09:10:33","date_gmt":"2020-09-15T13:10:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=14874"},"modified":"2020-09-25T19:36:57","modified_gmt":"2020-09-25T23:36:57","slug":"thoughtful-disagreement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughtful Disagreement Makes Your Company Better"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is thoughtful disagreement? How does it work, and why do you need it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thoughtful disagreement is a communication skill that allows you to respectfully explore the differently viewpoints of others. Thoughtful disagreement is a necessary skill for anyone in the workplace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s how thoughtful disagreement works. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What Is <strong>Thoughtful Disagreement<\/strong>?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Being open-minded will make you seek other smart people and explore their viewpoints, especially when you disagree with each other. This may create conflict between the four Yous in the conversation.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The key is to have \u201cthoughtful disagreement\u201d with the other person. <strong>This means your goal is not to prove that you\u2019re right, but rather to find out which view is true and decide what to do about it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-ego\/\">Your ego<\/a> may get in the way of getting new perspectives from other people. But if you care about your goals, you should be more afraid of missing important ideas than being proven wrong. <strong>What stings more\u2014being wrong about something, or ultimately failing your goal?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thoughtful disagreement doesn\u2019t mean just taking in other viewpoints by faith, without articulating your viewpoint. <strong>You should be open-minded and assertive at the same time<\/strong>. You must see things through the other person\u2019s eyes, while communicating clearly how <em>you<\/em> see things. The best ideas will arise from this natural tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As you seek out more opinions, you may find that people will be naturally reluctant to disagree with you. This might be because they\u2019ve been trained to agree to maintain <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/social-unity\/\">social cohesion<\/a>, or because they want to avoid emotional explosions. The trick is to engage in thoughtful disagreement without triggering emotional explosions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Tactics for Thoughtful Disagreement<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Find the most believable people in the area of concern, and listen to their thoughtful disagreements. Then find other smart people and triangulate the opinions you\u2019ve heard with them. You will get a broad set of opinions and increase your chance of finding the truth.<\/li><li>Ask questions rather than make statements.<\/li><li>Don\u2019t see suggestions automatically as criticisms of you.<\/li><li>Focus more on the substance of what is being said, rather than the style of it. Even if the other person says something somewhat sarcastically or in a tone you don\u2019t like, try to focus on the core of what is being said.<\/li><li>Describe back to the other person their own perspective to make clear you understand it.<\/li><li>Discuss calmly and dispassionately, and remind the other person when the disagreement gets too emotional.<ul><li>Ask questions like \u201cwould you like me to be open with my thoughts, or keep them to myself?\u201d<\/li><li>\u201cAre we trying to figure out the best option, or are we trying to fight for our own point of view?\u201d<\/li><\/ul><\/li><li>If you start talking over each other, engage the two minute rule\u2014each of you can call a short period to get your main thoughts out without interruption, while the other person has to stay silent and listen.<\/li><li>If you can\u2019t agree, find a person you both respect to moderate.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You can use this strategy in meetings and other collaborative settings. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is thoughtful disagreement? How does it work, and why do you need it? Thoughtful disagreement is a communication skill that allows you to respectfully explore the differently viewpoints of others. Thoughtful disagreement is a necessary skill for anyone in the workplace. Here&#8217;s how thoughtful disagreement works.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":14884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,43,30],"tags":[129],"class_list":["post-14874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-self-improvement","category-work","tag-principles-life-and-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Thoughtful Disagreement Makes Your Company Better - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is thoughtful disagreement and why do you need it? Thoughtful disagreement is a way to disagree respectfully. Here&#039;s how it works.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Thoughtful Disagreement Makes Your Company Better\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What is thoughtful disagreement and why do you need it? Thoughtful disagreement is a way to disagree respectfully. Here&#039;s how it works.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-09-15T13:10:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-09-25T23:36:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/thougtful-disagreement-principles-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Carrie Cabral\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2ababb7c63a94ff5d2190f71dc417d56\"},\"headline\":\"Thoughtful Disagreement Makes Your Company Better\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-15T13:10:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-09-25T23:36:57+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\"},\"wordCount\":520,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/thougtful-disagreement-principles-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Principles: Life and Work\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Self-Improvement\",\"Work\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/\",\"name\":\"Thoughtful Disagreement Makes Your Company Better - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughtful-disagreement\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/thougtful-disagreement-principles-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-15T13:10:33+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-09-25T23:36:57+00:00\",\"description\":\"What is thoughtful disagreement and why do you need it? 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