{"id":144682,"date":"2025-06-24T07:50:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T11:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=144682"},"modified":"2026-01-21T15:38:02","modified_gmt":"2026-01-21T19:38:02","slug":"how-we-learn-to-be-brave-by-mariann-edgar-budde","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-we-learn-to-be-brave-by-mariann-edgar-budde\/","title":{"rendered":"How We Learn to Be Brave by Mariann Edgar Budde: Overview"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is bravery something we’re born with, or can we actually learn to become more courageous? What if the moments that require the most courage aren’t the dramatic ones we see in movies?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How We Learn<\/a> to Be Brave<\/em> by Mariann Edgar Budde offers a fresh perspective on developing courage. The Episcopal bishop argues that bravery isn’t a rare gift reserved for heroes\u2014it’s a skill anyone can develop through practice and intentional choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more to discover how small daily decisions build the foundation for life-changing courage and why being brave might be more accessible than you think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Overview of How We Learn to Be Brave<\/em> by Mariann Edgar Budde<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Published in 2023, How We Learn to Be Brav<\/em><\/a>e<\/a><\/em> by Mariann Edgar Budde explores the nature of courage and how we can develop it throughout our lives. Her central thesis is that courage isn\u2019t an innate quality that only a few extraordinary people have, but a capacity we can all cultivate through deliberate practice<\/a> and choice<\/strong>. Budde examines the \u201cdecisive moments\u201d we all encounter\u2014times when we must actively choose to go in a new direction, stay committed to our path, accept difficult circumstances, or step up to accept an opportunity\u2014and she shows how these moments shape who we are and who we become.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Budde is the first female Episcopal Bishop of Washington, D.C., a position she\u2019s held since 2011. She gained international attention<\/a> in 2020 when she spoke out against President Donald Trump\u2019s use of St. John\u2019s Episcopal Church as a backdrop for a photo opportunity after White House protesters were tear-gased in Lafayette Square. In 2025, she urged Trump to exercise compassion<\/a> for immigrants and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Drawing on her experiences as a leader who has made difficult choices<\/a> and taken public stands, Budde illustrates how courage develops in ordinary and extraordinary circumstances alike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our guide organizes Budde\u2019s insights into three sections: what bravery is (and what it\u2019s not), why cultivating courage matters, and how we practice and sustain courage over time. Along the way, we connect Budde\u2019s vision of courage with ancient Greek concepts of bravery, explore the neuroscience behind courageous decision-making<\/a>, and examine how learning to be brave correlates to other facets of identity development. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Understanding the Episcopal Church<\/strong>

As the US branch of the Anglican Communion (which formed when the Church of England separated from the Roman Catholic Church), the Episcopal Church occupies a unique position in American Christianity\u2014which offers context for Budde\u2019s approach to courage. The church is sometimes described as \u201cProtestant, yet Catholic<\/a>\u201d in its traditions, and in recent decades, it has become increasingly progressive on issues like LGBTQ+ inclusion, environmental advocacy, and social justice. Since the 1970s, the church has come to several controversial decisions, like the ordination of women in 1974<\/a> and the full inclusion of LGBTQ+ members<\/a>, that epitomize Budde\u2019s emphasis on making brave choices despite the fallout.

Tension over these social issues has emerged between the church\u2019s progressive leadership and its more ideologically diverse membership. Episcopal clergy tend to be significantly more liberal than their congregations, a dynamic that produces situations where leaders like Budde must make difficult choices that don\u2019t align with all of their members\u2019 views<\/a>. Observers note the church has faced declining membership as it\u2019s taken more progressive stances\u2014which Budde might say illustrates the consequences of taking a principled stand. The decline in membership reflects similar patterns affecting other mainline Protestant denominations and highlights the challenges of maintaining institutional courage when facing potential losses.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What Bravery Is (and Isn\u2019t)<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In this section, we\u2019ll explore Budde\u2019s understanding of courage\u2014what it means to be brave, how courage develops over time, and why we all have the capacity for bravery, even if we don\u2019t recognize it in ourselves. By understanding the nature of courage, we can begin to see how it manifests in our lives and how we might cultivate it more intentionally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage Is a Conscious Choice in Decisive Moments<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

At the heart of Budde\u2019s understanding of courage is that <\/strong>we all experience \u201cdecisive moments\u201d\u2014turning points in our lives when we exercise agency rather than operating on autopilot. These moments might involve deciding to go in a new direction, stay committed to our path, start something new, accept difficult circumstances, or take advantage of an opportunity. Decisive moments involve making a deliberate choice when something significant hangs in the balance<\/strong>. Budde explains that we\u2019re aware of the importance of these moments as we experience them. We\u2019re not just reacting to our circumstances, but actively participating in shaping our future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Budde explains that one of the most persistent myths about courage is that it appears suddenly in those who happen to have it. But that\u2019s not how it works in real life. Instead, Budde argues the bravery we exercise in decisive moments represents the culmination of a lifetime of smaller choices.<\/strong> Consider the bishop who stands up to a president, the civil rights activist who marches despite threats, the parent who supports their child\u2019s difficult journey\u2014these acts might appear spontaneous, but they express values and practices cultivated over time. The courage we witness in these moments took shape decision by decision, challenge by challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This understanding transforms how we might view courage in our own lives. Rather than waiting passively for a dramatic moment to reveal whether or not we have bravery, we can cultivate courage by making everyday choices that align with our values. When we recognize that courage is something we learn through practice<\/a>,<\/strong> we open ourselves to the possibility that anyone can develop the ability to act bravely when it matters most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Courage Reveals Our Character and Values<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Budde explains that the moments when we choose to be brave serve as windows into our true character and values. When faced with a significant choice, the path we select reveals what we believe and care about<\/strong>, sometimes in ways that surprise even us. Such moments arise when our values come into conflict\u2014for example, when loyalty to one commitment requires breaking another, or when standing up for what we know is right demands a significant sacrifice. By navigating these tensions, we discover and demonstrate who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Budde shares the story of Henry Caffey, a Black railroad worker in Alabama during the Civil Rights Movement. When Caffey\u2019s daughter wanted to participate in the march from Selma to Montgomery, he faced a choice. He could either support her and risk losing his job, or discourage her involvement to protect his career. His choice to drive her to the march revealed his values of dignity, justice, and support. Most of our brave moments might not be as historically significant as Caffey\u2019s, but they\u2019re no less revealing of our character.<\/strong> Whether we\u2019re choosing to speak an uncomfortable truth<\/a>, remain faithful to a difficult commitment, or take a stand against injustice, our responses in these moments compose the narrative of our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We All Have an Inherent Capacity for Bravery<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

A cornerstone of Budde\u2019s approach is her belief that we all already possess the raw materials for bravery<\/strong>. The problem isn\u2019t that we lack courage: It\u2019s that we often fail to recognize and access the courage we already have. The challenge is to recognize that this potential exists and to develop the awareness and skills to draw upon it when needed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Part of this recognition involves acknowledging our vulnerabilities and limitations. Contrary to popular belief, courage doesn\u2019t require fearlessness or perfect confidence. In fact, bravery often emerges when we acknowledge our doubts and proceed anyway.<\/strong> Understanding courage in this way\u2014as a capacity we can develop rather than a trait we either have or lack\u2014empowers us to approach occasions that call on us to be brave with greater confidence. We can learn to be brave not by trying to transform ourselves into someone else, but by fully becoming who we already are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Cultivating Courage Matters<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Courage isn\u2019t just something we admire in others\u2014it\u2019s a vital capacity that enables us to live with meaning, purpose, and integrity. Budde explores why developing our ability to be brave matters for both our personal growth and our impact on the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage Helps Us Make Choices That Change Our Lives<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

The pivotal choices we make shape who we are and who we become, and our decisions alter the trajectory of our lives<\/strong>. As Budde explains, when we choose to act with courage, we often unlock hidden strengths and discover new possibilities we couldn\u2019t previously imagine. These brave moments look different for everyone. For some, it might mean speaking truth to power or standing against injustice. For others, it might involve leaving a comfortable job to pursue a calling, committing to a challenging relationship, or facing difficult circumstances with dignity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The power of these choices lies in their ability to change us from the inside out<\/strong>. They not only transform our external circumstances but also remake our internal landscapes\u2014how we understand ourselves and our place in the world. Also, the ripple effects of our choices extend beyond our own lives. When we act courageously, we can inspire others<\/a>, challenge broken systems, and create positive change in our communities. By developing courage, we expand our capacity to contribute to the world in meaningful ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage Allows Us to Live Authentically<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

At its heart, courage enables us to align our actions with our values. Budde contends that without bravery, we often default to choices based on fear or convenience rather than conviction<\/strong>. Cultivating a strong alignment between who we are and how we live plays a fundamental role in our well-being and sense of fulfillment. When our actions consistently contradict our values, we experience what psychologists call \u201ccognitive dissonance,\u201d an uncomfortable internal conflict that generates anxiety, guilt, and dissatisfaction. Budde explains that courage helps us resolve this discord by choosing integrity even when it\u2019s difficult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Budde emphasizes that living authentically<\/a> requires honest self-awareness and the willingness to act on what we discover when we look inward.<\/strong> We need to understand what matters most to us and then choose to honor those priorities in our actions. This might mean speaking an uncomfortable truth, setting boundaries<\/a> in relationships, or taking risks to pursue what\u2019s meaningful. Authentic living<\/a> doesn\u2019t require us to never experience fear or doubt. Rather, it means we develop the capacity to acknowledge these feelings without being controlled by them. As Budde notes, we find courage not in the absence of fear but in our determination to move forward despite it\u2014choosing what\u2019s meaningful over what\u2019s comfortable or safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Courage Creates a Path to Personal Growth<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Budde points out that a crucial connection exists between courage and personal development<\/strong>. Without the willingness to be brave\u2014to face challenges, embrace vulnerability, and step into the unknown\u2014we constrain our growth. Whether we\u2019re developing new skills, deepening relationships, confronting personal weaknesses, or pursuing ambitious goals<\/a>, growth requires us to risk failure and face our fears. Budde contends that each time we choose courage over comfort, we open doors to development that would otherwise remain closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This relationship works both ways: Courage enables growth, and growth empowers us to be courageous<\/strong>. As we overcome challenges, we build confidence<\/a> in our ability to face future difficulties. Each brave choice creates a positive cycle where courage leads to growth, which in turn makes future courage more accessible\u2014and helps us become wiser and more resilient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Budde also understands that in addition to being a personal virtue, courage is a spiritual practice and a tool for effecting social change<\/strong>. She explains that courage helps us transcend our individual concerns and connect to something larger than ourselves, enabling us to make choices that serve not only our own interests but the common good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How We Practice and Sustain Courage<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Understanding courage in theory is valuable, but Budde\u2019s most important message is practical\u2014how to develop bravery and maintain it throughout our lives. In this section, we\u2019ll explore her guidance for building courage through daily practices, developing key virtues, navigating different types of challenging moments, and handling what happens after making brave choices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Build Courage Through Small, Daily Decisions<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Budde explains that when a critical moment arrives, we rarely have time to deliberate<\/strong>. Instead, we respond based on the habits and values we\u2019ve already developed. With consistent practice, courageous choices become more natural because each small act of bravery builds your capacity for integrity and courage. To strengthen your ability to be brave, Budde says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n