{"id":144040,"date":"2025-05-14T11:01:41","date_gmt":"2025-05-14T15:01:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=144040"},"modified":"2025-05-22T11:14:22","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T15:14:22","slug":"healthy-relationship-with-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you ready to love yourself like you deserve? What does it mean to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-maintain-a-healthy-relationship\/\">have a healthy relationship<\/a> with yourself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Let Them Theory<\/em>, Mel Robbins explains that you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-use-the-let-them-theory\/\">use the Let Them Theory<\/a> to improve the relationship you have with yourself. She notes that you are the only person that you\u2019re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with, and you owe it to yourself to make your happiness and dreams a priority. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re ready to build the best relationship with yourself, keep reading.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-build-a-healthier-relationship-with-yourself\"><strong>Build a Healthier Relationship With Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you let other people do what they want to do (and resolve to not allow them to determine what you do), you decide to build the life you want without worrying about other people\u2019s approval or validation. Robbins notes you can use \u201cLet Them\u201d and \u201cLet Me\u201d to give yourself the power to become your own source of happiness, to define what\u2019s important to you, and to take control of how you work to turn your reality into the life you want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-limits-of-self-help-in-an-unequal-world\">The Limits of Self-Help in an Unequal World<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Robbins\u2019s advice for building a healthy relationship with yourself through <em>The Let Them Theory<\/em> offers powerful psychological tools for individual empowerment. Yet it raises an important question that haunts all self-help literature: How much control do we truly have over our well-being when structural barriers stand in our way?<br><br>Research <a href=\"https:\/\/today.uconn.edu\/2022\/04\/psychological-tips-arent-enough-policies-need-to-address-structural-inequities-so-everyone-can-flourish-2\/#\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">reveals a sobering reality<\/a>: While psychological techniques can help individuals cope with difficult circumstances, they can\u2019t overcome fundamental inequities. A study found that nearly 90% of people with household incomes over $100,000 described themselves as flourishing, compared to less than half of those earning under $30,000. Similarly, more white participants reported flourishing than Black participants, regardless of their mindset or psychological practices.<br><br>This doesn\u2019t invalidate Robbins\u2019s approach but places it in necessary context. The ability to let go of others\u2019 opinions and focus on your values presupposes certain conditions\u2014like not having to worry about food security, housing stability, or systemic discrimination. Robbins\u2019s framework might work best when combined with an understanding that flourishing requires both individual agency and structural support. \u201cLet Them\u201d and \u201cLet Me\u201d can be transformative tools for reclaiming personal power, especially in interpersonal relationships. But the most complete approach to well-being acknowledges both our personal responsibility for growth and the societal conditions that make that growth possible.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you ready to love yourself like you deserve? What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with yourself? In The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins explains that you can use the Let Them Theory to improve the relationship you have with yourself. She notes that you are the only person that you\u2019re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with, and you owe it to yourself to make your happiness and dreams a priority. If you&#8217;re ready to build the best relationship with yourself, keep reading.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":144485,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,43],"tags":[1780],"class_list":["post-144040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-the-let-them-theory","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1456\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"816\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/webp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Katie Doll\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937\"},\"headline\":\"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\"},\"wordCount\":413,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp\",\"keywords\":[\"The Let Them Theory\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Relationships\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\",\"name\":\"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00\",\"description\":\"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp\",\"width\":1456,\"height\":816,\"caption\":\"A woman who has a healthy relationship with herself, looking in the mirror\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937\",\"name\":\"Katie Doll\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Katie Doll\"},\"description\":\"Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy\/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.\",\"knowsAbout\":[\"Bachelor of Arts in English With a Concentration in Creative Writing\"],\"jobTitle\":\"Senior SEO Writer\",\"worksFor\":\"Shortform\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/katie\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself - Shortform Books","description":"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself","og_description":"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1456,"height":816,"url":"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","type":"image\/webp"}],"author":"Katie Doll","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Katie Doll","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/"},"author":{"name":"Katie Doll","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937"},"headline":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself","datePublished":"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00","dateModified":"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/"},"wordCount":413,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","keywords":["The Let Them Theory"],"articleSection":["Relationships","Self-Improvement"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/","name":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","datePublished":"2025-05-14T15:01:41+00:00","dateModified":"2025-05-22T15:14:22+00:00","description":"You are the most important person in your life. Discover the best advice from Mel Robbins on building a healthy relationship with yourself.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","width":1456,"height":816,"caption":"A woman who has a healthy relationship with herself, looking in the mirror"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-relationship-with-yourself\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Have a Happy and Healthy Relationship With Yourself"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937","name":"Katie Doll","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Katie Doll"},"description":"Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy\/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.","knowsAbout":["Bachelor of Arts in English With a Concentration in Creative Writing"],"jobTitle":"Senior SEO Writer","worksFor":"Shortform","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/katie\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/woman-looking-in-mirror.webp","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=144040"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":144515,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144040\/revisions\/144515"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/144485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=144040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=144040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=144040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}