{"id":144034,"date":"2025-05-17T10:16:47","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T14:16:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=144034"},"modified":"2025-05-22T11:14:32","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T15:14:32","slug":"how-to-not-care-about-what-others-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-not-care-about-what-others-think\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Not Care About What Others Think (Mel Robbins)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you often care about what other people think about you? How can you stop wasting time<\/a> on other people’s opinions<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mel Robbins’s Let Them Theory works when it\u2019s what other people think and say, rather than what they do, that stresses you out. You can’t change what people say, but you can change how you react to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how to not care about what others think<\/a> so you can finally feel free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Stop Being Stressed Out by Other People\u2019s Opinions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Inevitably, people will have and express negative opinions about you. But if you let their opinions influence your decisions<\/a>, then you give up control over what you do with your life. Robbins points out that just as we can\u2019t change what thoughts pop into our own heads, it\u2019s impossible to control what other people think. As part of her advice on how to not care about what others think, she recommends expecting<\/em> that other people will think negative thoughts about you\u2014and resolving to follow your own path<\/a> anyway. Instead of letting your fear of other people\u2019s negative opinions constrain you, you can make decisions you\u2019re proud of and live according to your own values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Robbins\u2019s advice to avoid stress over others\u2019 opinions aligns with research on how malleable human opinions actually are. Studies reveal that people\u2019s opinions change far more often than they realize<\/a>: Thanks to the protection of our \u201cpsychological immune system,\u201d we unconsciously adjust our opinions to make peace with circumstances we can\u2019t change. We even revise our memories to align with our new beliefs, like smokers who remembered doing less public smoking than they\u2019d previously reported after a ban was implemented. This means the opinions that cause you stress today may naturally shift tomorrow, making your efforts to manage those perceptions largely wasted energy.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Navigating other people\u2019s opinions can be especially difficult when those other people are your family since they\u2019re with you for the long haul<\/strong>. Robbins explains that it\u2019s important to think about why someone might have the opinion they do of you or your choices. That way, you can see things from their point of view\u2014not so you can change their mind. (You probably won\u2019t.) Rather, it\u2019s so you can respect their perspectives, which were formed by their life experiences, and accept them as their imperfect (and perhaps judgmental) selves. This serves to deepen your relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

5 Ways to Handle Judgmental Family Members<\/strong>

When dealing with family members who express negative opinions about your choices, communication experts recommend using these practical strategies<\/a>:

1. Use boundary-setting \u201cI\u201d statements<\/strong>: Rather than defending your choices, simply state your position with phrases like \u201cI want to focus on other priorities right now,\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s important to me to take the time I need.\u201d These statements are harder to argue with because they\u2019re about your preferences, not debatable facts.

2. Deploy a strategic \u201cthank you\u201d<\/strong>: When unsolicited advice comes your way, a firm \u201cthank you\u201d serves as both polite acknowledgment and a signal that the conversation should turn to a different topic. You can say, \u201cI appreciate your advice. Thank you\u201d to signal that you\u2019ve heard their opinion, while still ending the discussion.

3. Redirect the conversation<\/strong>: Take control by changing the subject, especially to something your opinionated relative enjoys discussing. This technique respects their desire to engage with you while shifting away from judgments about you and your choices.

4. Enlist an ally<\/strong>: Before family gatherings, arrange with an understanding relative to help redirect conversations when judgment arises. For example, when your judgmental aunt starts criticizing your career choices, your ally can smoothly introduce a new topic.

5. Create physical distance<\/strong>: Sometimes the most effective response is simply removing yourself from the interaction. Take a break in another room, help in the kitchen, or spend time with more supportive family members.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you often care about what other people think about you? How can you stop wasting time on other people’s opinions? Mel Robbins’s Let Them Theory works when it\u2019s what other people think and say, rather than what they do, that stresses you out. You can’t change what people say, but you can change how you react to them. Continue reading to learn how to not care about what others think so you can finally feel free.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":144066,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[1780],"class_list":["post-144034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-the-let-them-theory","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Not Care About What Others Think (Mel Robbins) - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have people in your life who are judgmental? If so, it's probably best to learn how to not care about what others think. 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