{"id":139653,"date":"2025-01-16T15:58:17","date_gmt":"2025-01-16T19:58:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=139653"},"modified":"2025-01-17T16:50:27","modified_gmt":"2025-01-17T20:50:27","slug":"how-to-be-realistic-in-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-realistic-in-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be Realistic in Life: 3 Strategies to Work Within Your Limits"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Can you live a good life<\/a> within your realm of possibility? What can you achieve with your finite resources and opportunities?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Oliver Burkeman, the first step toward being happy and successful is to learn how to be realistic in life. Burkeman says that while it\u2019s good to dream big, it\u2019s also necessary to be realistic\u2014otherwise, you\u2019ll waste your time and energy pining for things you\u2019ll never attain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Below, we\u2019ll explore the three strategies Burkeman says can help you learn to work within your limitations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Strategy 1: Change Your Mindset<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to Burkeman, to learn how to be realistic in life, you must first change your mindset<\/a>. <\/strong>Accurately assess your reality so you can let go of unreachable ideals and focus on what\u2019s currently <\/em>possible instead of what could<\/em> be possible in an abstract, unknown future. Shifting to this mindset presents two major advantages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, accurately assessing your reality allows you to determine\u2014and pursue\u2014what\u2019s realistically possible for you.<\/strong> For example, you may have a laundry list of things you want to do\u2014start writing a book, act in a TV show, write a song, and so on. However, you\u2019re not a musician or an actor, and you work a full-time job; acting and songwriting aren\u2019t currently within your realm of possibility because you don\u2019t have the time, knowledge, or connections to get started. You do have experience writing, though, and can carve an hour out of each day to start a book. Once you acknowledge that writing is a realistic possibility, you\u2019ll feel encouraged to take action toward your goals<\/a> since they seem attainable, and you\u2019ll use your time more effectively than if you spent it on goals that are out of your reach.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, focusing on current possibilities rather than an unknown future allows you to expend your energy where it\u2019s most effective\u2014on your current pursuits.<\/strong> Burkeman explains that, while future planning has its place, constantly worrying<\/em> about the future and potential problems wastes time in the present. Instead of worrying, spend that time focusing on what’s important right now. You should trust that you\u2019ll be able to handle future situations as they arise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy 2: Narrow Your Scope<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Burkeman\u2019s second strategy for working within your limitations is narrowing your scope\u2014that is, limiting the commitments you spend time and energy on and the amount of information you consume. <\/strong>Why narrow your scope?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, Burkeman says that making progress toward happiness and success<\/a> requires you to quit unfulfilling obligations<\/strong>. Most people have a list of commitments they don\u2019t find satisfying and beneficial\u2014these waste time and emotional energy<\/a> you should be putting toward things that bring you fulfillment. To quit these burdens, Burkeman recommends you identify the consequences of quitting, determine whether you\u2019re willing to face those consequences, and then face them head-on. This will prevent you from continuing in a state of indecision and inaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, Burkeman says you need to limit the amount of information you consume and pay attention to<\/strong>. In the modern age, the constant flood of information through news and social media diverts our attention in a million different directions, preventing us from absorbing truly useful information. To avoid splintering your attention, Burkeman makes two recommendations: First, only pay attention to the information that interests you and that is useful now<\/em>\u2014don\u2019t collect information for some undetermined future situation. Second, focus on one or two social issues that you can make a difference in. This will prevent you from being burdened by the inability to address every injustice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy 3: Plant Seeds for Success<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Burkeman\u2019s third strategy for <\/strong>working within your limitations is planting seeds for success. You can plant these seeds by implementing two habits: taking action every day, no matter how small, and keeping track of what you\u2019ve accomplished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why should you take action every day? Burkeman explains that many people get stuck in a state of inaction because they\u2019re too focused on potential obstacles or planning out methods for success. Instead of letting these things get in your way, do something meaningful every day that contributes to your goal\u2014even if it\u2019s small<\/strong>. For example, if you want to write a book but need to fix your laptop first, use the notes app on your phone to start brainstorming<\/a> today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Someday Is Today<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Matthew Dicks explains that <\/em>one reason we neglect taking the small, consistent steps needed to achieve our goals is that we\u2019re waiting for the perfect conditions to get started\u2014for example, using the excuse of needing your laptop to procrastinate<\/a> writing your book. To help overcome these excuses and follow Burkeman\u2019s advice, Dicks recommends doing something productive with every spare moment<\/a>. For example, if you arrive at work 10 minutes early, use that time to brainstorm plot ideas for your book.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why should you keep track of your accomplishments? According to Burkeman, <\/strong>noting your achievements encourages you to continue forward.<\/strong> For example, say you keep a list of tasks you\u2019ve accomplished that pertain to a given goal\u2014the more points you have in the list, the more motivated you\u2019ll be to continue adding to the list until the goal is complete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: The American Psychological Association reiterates that recording your progress makes you more likely to achieve your goals<\/a>. They also note that strictly tracking goal progress doesn\u2019t encourage behaviors associated with the goal<\/a>\u2014behaviors that could make or break your ability to maintain your progress or help you continue growing after you complete your goal. For example, tracking how close you are to completing your book might help you finish it, but it won\u2019t encourage you to continue <\/em>writing consistently once you\u2019ve finished\u2014the associated behavior necessary for success as a writer. So, depending on your goal and desired long-term results, consider tracking both your progress toward your goal and the behaviors associated with it.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can you live a good life within your realm of possibility? What can you achieve with your finite resources and opportunities? According to Oliver Burkeman, the first step toward being happy and successful is to learn how to be realistic in life. Burkeman says that while it\u2019s good to dream big, it\u2019s also necessary to be realistic\u2014otherwise, you\u2019ll waste your time and energy pining for things you\u2019ll never attain. Below, we\u2019ll explore the three strategies Burkeman says can help you learn to work within your limitations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":139899,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,42,43],"tags":[1722],"class_list":["post-139653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-motivation","category-self-improvement","tag-meditations-for-mortals","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Be Realistic in Life: 3 Strategies to Work Within Your Limits - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you want to be realistic in life but aren't sure where to start? 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