{"id":137073,"date":"2024-12-04T16:10:54","date_gmt":"2024-12-04T20:10:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=137073"},"modified":"2024-12-04T16:10:55","modified_gmt":"2024-12-04T20:10:55","slug":"what-is-self-esteem-and-why-is-it-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-self-esteem-and-why-is-it-important\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Self-Esteem, and Why Is It Important?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is self-esteem, and why is it important<\/a>? How does the way you view yourself impact your daily life, relationships, and overall happiness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-esteem goes far beyond just feeling good about yourself; it’s about recognizing your inherent worth and believing in your abilities to handle life’s challenges. Leading experts and researchers have explored how this fundamental attitude shapes our emotions, behaviors, and connections with others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more to learn what the research reveals about self-esteem and discover why it matters so much for living a fulfilling life<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Meaning & Importance of Self-Esteem<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

What is self-esteem, and why is it important? We’ll look at a few definitions of self-esteem and three reasons why it matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Confidence Code<\/em><\/a>, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman provide a basic definition of self-esteem: Self-esteem <\/strong>is an attitude about yourself<\/strong><\/a>\u2014specifically, the belief that you have value.<\/strong> In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, researcher Bren\u00e9 Brown calls healthy self-esteem worthiness<\/em><\/a>: the conviction that you\u2019re good enough as you are, flaws and all, and that you deserve to be loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In Transcend<\/em><\/a>, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman expands the definition of self-esteem<\/a> to include not only the belief that you have value but also your confidence in your abilities. In The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem<\/em><\/a>, psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden comes to the same conclusion, referring to these two aspects of self-esteem as self-respect<\/em> and self-efficacy<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Branden, self-respect is the belief that you deserve happiness because you\u2019re inherently valuable.<\/strong> It drives you to treat yourself well and expect similar respect from others. Self-efficacy is when you trust your own mind and judgment<\/strong>\u2014so you feel like you\u2019re generally capable of learning the skills you need to earn a living, have healthy relationships<\/a>, and recover when you face difficulties. Branden contends that both beliefs are essential to self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why Raise Your Self-Esteem?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve explored the question of what self-esteem is, but why does any of this matter? Self-esteem is important because it significantly shapes the course of your life: It determines how you feel, the actions you take, and the way you relate to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-Esteem Determines How You Feel<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

First off, Nathaniel Branden argues that healthy self-esteem <\/strong>makes you generally happier<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong> It protects you from the worst life has to offer<\/a>, as people with healthy self-esteem quickly recover from life\u2019s inevitable challenges. For example, someone who loses their job won\u2019t suffer the loss as badly if they believe that they\u2019re capable and worthy of finding a new one. Of course, self-esteem doesn\u2019t guarantee a fulfilled life\u2014but without it, you won\u2019t live the most fulfilling life possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The benefits of healthy self-esteem don\u2019t stop there. In Everything Is F*cked<\/em><\/a>, self-help author Mark Manson argues that healthy self-esteem is necessary for any feelings of peace and happiness <\/strong>because it gives you hope<\/em><\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong> He defines hope as the belief that you can progress toward something valuable and create a more pleasant future. Hope empowers you to cope with the inherent pain of existence: If you believe that you\u2019re successfully creating a more pleasant future for yourself and those around you, you\u2019ll feel fulfilled, even if life at the moment is unpleasant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Manson states that, unfortunately, low self-esteem<\/a> makes it difficult to find hope<\/a>. People with low self-esteem see themselves as uniquely dysfunctional and thus inherently unable to progress toward something valuable. They may say things like \u201cI\u2019m not smart enough to become a teacher,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m not creative enough to make art.\u201d This belief in their powerlessness prevents them from finding hope and living lives that they feel are meaningful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People with low self-esteem don\u2019t just suffer from feelings of incompetence; they also acutely feel the pain of worthlessness. More specifically, Bren\u00e9 Brown argues that a life of low self-esteem is characterized by shame<\/em>.<\/strong> She defines shame as feeling that you don\u2019t deserve to be loved because you\u2019ll never be \u201cgood enough.\u201d<\/a> It\u2019s built on foundations of fear, self-hatred, and inadequacy. Nathaniel Branden agrees that poor self-esteem encourages fear, adding that <\/strong>it makes you afraid of facing reality<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong> If you believe you\u2019re not worthy of love or capable of solving life\u2019s problems, you\u2019ll be frightened of any opportunities to improve your life because they threaten to further prove just how inadequate you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-Esteem Determines Your Actions<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Experts generally agree that how you feel about yourself largely determines how often you choose to behave in a healthy and beneficial way. Why is this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Mark Manson, most people fail to realize that <\/strong>ultimately, emotions control all of our behavior<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong> We assume that we use logic to decide what to do, unless our emotions steer us off course\u2014but biologically, the truth is the other way around. Manson explains that emotions are the mechanism by which our brains push our bodies into action. If we feel an emotional drive to do something, we do it, and if we don\u2019t feel that drive, we don\u2019t. For this reason, when it makes you feel good to lead a disciplined life<\/a> and progress toward a better future (as it does for people with healthy self-esteem), you\u2019ll do it automatically and effortlessly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In How to Change<\/em><\/a>, behavioral scientist Katy Milkman agrees that your level of self-esteem can make or break any effort to change your behavior<\/a>. She explains that this is because our expectations (or beliefs) about what will happen influence the outcome in at least four ways:<\/strong>\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n