{"id":133975,"date":"2024-10-24T09:31:00","date_gmt":"2024-10-24T13:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=133975"},"modified":"2024-10-24T10:31:20","modified_gmt":"2024-10-24T14:31:20","slug":"women-in-a-patriarchal-society","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/women-in-a-patriarchal-society\/","title":{"rendered":"Women in a Patriarchal Society: Dr. Shefali on Female Identity"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What happens when women try to meet society’s impossible standards? How does living in a male-dominated world affect women’s authentic identity and mental health?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women in a patriarchal society face unique pressures that shape their behavior, appearance, and life choices from childhood. From an early age, girls learn that their worth depends on meeting strict social expectations\u2014expectations that only grow more demanding as they age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to discover how these societal pressures<\/a> impact women’s wellbeing<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Women in a Patriarchal Society<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In A Radical Awakening<\/em>, Dr. Shefali Tsabary discusses the plight of women in a patriarchal society. She contends that women\u2019s identities are so heavily influenced by societal standards\u2014those regarding appearance, behavior, and roles\u2014because they\u2019re taught from girlhood that their worth is inherently tied to meeting these standards. When girls meet standards, they\u2019re validated and praised; however, when they don\u2019t\u2014for example when they\u2019re loud, when they question authority, or when they\u2019re emotional\u2014they\u2019re disciplined and made to feel unworthy<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This discipline is overt, such as being punished by parents or teachers, and covert, such as being excluded by kids at school. With age, these standards and expectations permeate and gain prominence, dictating roles and behaviors in all areas of life\u2014for example, motherhood, romantic relationships, career, and appearance. Further, Tsabary notes that the consequences of failing to meet standards also intensify\u2014women risk financial, social, mental, and emotional hardships.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tsabary explains that these standards are more stringent for women than men because we live in a patriarchal society<\/strong>\u2014our rules and standards are designed by men to benefit them and give them power and dominance over women and children. This means that naturally, patriarchal standards more severely limit women\u2019s ability to act freely than men\u2019s and that the consequences for breaking standards are often more damaging for women. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Physical and Psychological Toll of the Patriarchy<\/strong>

In Burnout<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Amelia and Emily Nagoski reiterate that patriarchal standards regarding women\u2019s appearance, behavior, and roles put an intense and unique pressure on them that men don\u2019t experience\u2014they feel they must conform in order to feel worthy and safe. However, like Tsabary, the authors explain that the effort to meet standards causes women to bend until they break. The Nagoskis elaborate further on the internal and external consequences women face due to patriarchal standards<\/a>.\u00a0

They explain that the constant pressure to meet standards causes a mental, emotional, and physical state called \u201cburnout.\u201d This state of burnout causes women to stop caring about things they once felt were important like their health or career, feel physically and mentally exhausted, and struggle to manage their emotions and connect with others<\/a>. This impacts all areas of their life from their career to their relationships.

Further, the authors explain that women face numerous external consequences\u2014many of them a result of male behavior that exist due to patriarchal standards that teach men to be dominant takers and women to be submissive givers. For example, these standards make it commonplace for women to be interrupted and silenced by men<\/a>, which causes women constant stress and often disadvantages them in the workplace. These standards also make sexual violence against women much more common and much less prosecuted<\/a>: Women have to constantly worry about the threat of violence from men, and if they\u2019re assaulted, they often endure the trauma alone out of fear that they won\u2019t be believed if they speak up.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Consequently, says Tsabary, women try so hard to meet standards and avoid reproach that their true identity\u2014their authentic thoughts, feelings, and desires\u2014fade into the background<\/strong>. Instead of facing situations and asking \u201cWhat do I <\/em>want? What\u2019s in my<\/em> best interest?\u201d they automatically respond based on how they believe they can meet standards and gain safety and security.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, Bren\u00e9 Brown reiterates that many women fail to express their authentic identity because of the pressure they feel to meet external standards. Her research shows that there are two primary factors that cause women to behave like this<\/a>. First is the desire to meet societal expectations and fit into their larger community. Second is the desire to be accepted by their loved ones\u2014many women fear their loved ones won\u2019t accept this \u201cnew\u201d version of them, which can be even more painful than being rejected by strangers. Brown discusses a few techniques to overcome these specific fears.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tsabary explains that women\u2019s automatic responses and false identity (the one formed based on societal standards) are a protective shield called <\/strong>the ego<\/em><\/strong>. The egoic identity emerges to protect women from the backlash they\u2019ll receive if they act according to their true selves. While it can help women stay afloat in patriarchal society, it ultimately hinders them by suppressing their true selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In The Power of Now<\/em><\/a>, Eckhart Tolle agrees that the ego is a mechanism to protect us (both men and women) from the fear of being unworthy. However, he adds that the ego does more than just protect us from the backlash of breaking societal expectations. In its attempt to inflate our feelings of worthiness, it causes us to crave superiority over others and to fulfill that craving by seeking forms of instant gratification<\/a> that distract us from finding long-term fulfillment\u2014for example, money, possessions, popularity, and so on.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What happens when women try to meet society’s impossible standards? How does living in a male-dominated world affect women’s authentic identity and mental health? Women in a patriarchal society face unique pressures that shape their behavior, appearance, and life choices from childhood. From an early age, girls learn that their worth depends on meeting strict social expectations\u2014expectations that only grow more demanding as they age. Keep reading to discover how these societal pressures impact women’s wellbeing<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":133980,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,24],"tags":[1642],"class_list":["post-133975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-society","tag-a-radical-awakening","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWomen in a Patriarchal Society: Dr. Shefali on Female Identity - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Women in a patriarchal society face unique pressures that shape their behavior, appearance, and life choices from childhood. 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