{"id":133832,"date":"2024-10-23T14:43:52","date_gmt":"2024-10-23T18:43:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=133832"},"modified":"2024-10-25T15:59:24","modified_gmt":"2024-10-25T19:59:24","slug":"living-an-authentic-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-an-authentic-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Why You Will Regret Not Living an Authentic Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you live authentically<\/a>, or for others? Why is authentic living<\/a> so important to happiness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, shares that one of the biggest regrets people have on their deathbed is not living an authentic life<\/a>. She also provides insights into how to live more authentically in a judgemental world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading for Ware’s life-changing advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Regret of Not Living Authentically<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Ware writes that the number one regret her clients had was not living an authentic life<\/a>.<\/strong> Living authentically<\/a> means acting and making choices based on what you truly want and on the values you believe in. Many of Ware\u2019s patients expressed that they had let the expectations of others dictate how they should live instead of honoring their own dreams and desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think<\/em><\/a>, Brianna Wiest explains why we might unknowingly live inauthentically: From an early age, we realize that we can get attention<\/a>, love, and approval by pleasing others<\/a>\u2014for example, by getting good grades to make our parents proud or dressing a certain way to fit in with our peers. As we grow older, this habit of seeking external validation<\/a> becomes so ingrained that we lose touch with our true desires<\/a>. As a result, we may inadvertently make life choices<\/a> based on what we think others want from us, rather than what we truly want for ourselves.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ware shares an example from one of her patients named Grace, who had lived according to society\u2019s expectations instead of her own wishes: Despite wanting to travel the world and live free from her husband, she felt pressured to remain in an unhappy marriage. When her husband had to move into a nursing home and Grace finally gained freedom, she fell ill with a terminal illness. In her final moments, she regretted not having found the courage to live the way she wanted to sooner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Divorce rates among older couples are on the rise. This trend, known as “gray divorce<\/a>,\u201d has seen a sharp increase since 1990, while divorce rates for younger people have declined. Experts point out many reasons for this increase: For example, divorce is more socially acceptable and less stigmatized than it used to be (a barrier that Grace had struggled with). Women also have more financial independence<\/a> than in previous generations, which gives them more freedom to leave unhappy marriages.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find the Courage to Be Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Ware writes that to live authentically, you must find the courage to let go of others\u2019 expectations. <\/strong>Fear of judgment and ridicule can push you to hide or suppress your desires and even your identity to conform to the norm or to please others. Ware experienced this struggle herself, staying in unfulfilling banking roles for a decade because she was afraid of facing disapproval from her family. However, Ware argues that when you let this fear control your choices, you\u2019ll almost inevitably have regrets at the end of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let go of others\u2019 expectations by recognizing that they don\u2019t matter in the end. Ware\u2019s patients found that in their final moments, the opinions of others were meaningless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck<\/em><\/a>, Mark Manson says that if you want to stop letting other people\u2019s expectations define how you live, you must practice rejection<\/a>. Decide on the people and experiences that matter most to you and say no to everything else\u2014whether it\u2019s an activity that doesn\u2019t make you happy, a burdensome relationship, or an unnecessary possession. When you commit to a few key priorities, you feel less pressure to conform<\/a> to what others want. You\u2019ll also experience more satisfaction because by committing to your values and the things you care about, you won\u2019t constantly wonder if you\u2019d be happier with a different choice.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you live authentically, or for others? Why is authentic living so important to happiness? Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, shares that one of the biggest regrets people have on their deathbed is not living an authentic life. She also provides insights into how to live more authentically in a judgemental world. Continue reading for Ware’s life-changing advice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":133884,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12,43],"tags":[1639],"class_list":["post-133832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-the-top-five-regrets-of-the-dying","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy You Will Regret Not Living an Authentic Life - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"One of the most common deathbed regrets is not living an authentic life. 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