{"id":130098,"date":"2024-09-17T10:05:59","date_gmt":"2024-09-17T14:05:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=130098"},"modified":"2024-09-18T11:33:08","modified_gmt":"2024-09-18T15:33:08","slug":"importance-of-conflict-resolution","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/importance-of-conflict-resolution\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Conflict Resolution: A Necessary Part of Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you have difficult people in your life? Are you looking for ways to improve your relationships<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ren\u00e9e Evenson’s book Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People<\/em> offers valuable insights on the importance of conflict resolution<\/a>. Because conflict is inevitable, conflict resolution skills are a must\u2014at work and at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more to discover how to transform challenging situations into opportunities for growth and stronger relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Conflict Resolution Is Part of Life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The importance of conflict resolution is highlighted by Evenson’s assertion that conflict is an inevitable part of life. At some point, someone you see regularly is going to get in the habit of doing something you find harmful, annoying, or unproductive, and you\u2019re going to want them to stop. This is particularly common at work. You can choose your friends, but you don\u2019t choose your co-workers; you\u2019re stuck with whomever\u2019s there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Evenson, mature conflict resolution is necessary to maintain collaborative relationships.<\/strong> When two people openly discuss a conflict in a way that demonstrates mutual respect, it helps them realize they can trust each other to help meet each other\u2019s needs. In this way, conflicts can leave relationships stronger than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The skills required to responsibly resolve conflicts and maintain productive working relationships are rare, so they\u2019re a great way to distinguish yourself as a uniquely valuable employee. Evenson points out that employees with excellent interpersonal skills are often promoted over those who may have superior technical knowledge or job-specific skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Other experts agree that managers often promote people with strong interpersonal skills rather than those with purely technical skills<\/a>. That said, they contend that conflict resolution skills are just one aspect of the broader skill of emotional intelligence<\/em>, which also includes self-awareness, the ability to manage yourself, and understanding social dynamics. Such skills will help you succeed by making it easier for you to persuade your co-workers to accept your ideas and innovations.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conflict Is Inevitable in Romantic Relationships<\/strong>

Evenson argues that conflict is particularly common at work because you don\u2019t get to choose your co-workers. However, in How to Be an Adult in Relationships<\/em><\/a>, David Richo contends that conflict is inevitable in romantic relationships<\/em>, too (even though many people choose their partners). After the initial honeymoon phase in which couples fool themselves into thinking that the other person is perfect, they\u2019ll inevitably enter a discordant phase filled with conflict<\/a>. Couples must resolve these conflicts for the relationship to survive.

That said, instead of seeing disagreements as purely negative, Richo (like Evenson) frames them as a chance to strengthen the relationship. Specifically, he claims that by surfacing and accepting each other\u2019s flaws through conflict, couples can foster greater understanding and intimacy.How can you do this? You can use the acronym GREAT<\/a> to remember Richo\u2019s advice for how to bond with your significant other, even when you\u2019re fighting<\/a>:

G – Gratitude: Tell your partner how much you appreciate them.

R – Respect: Support your partner\u2019s right to disagree with you about how to live.

E – Engagement: Express sincere interest in what your partner says.

A – Affirmation: Tell your partner that you approve of who they are, virtues and flaws alike.

T – Tenderness: Show your partner how much you love them through physical touch and kind words.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What Happens When You Avoid Conflict<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

According to Evenson, one major reason that conflict resolution skills are important is that avoiding conflict often ends in disaster.<\/strong> Most people shy away from conflict because it\u2019s uncomfortable. However, if you try to ignore a problem and pretend you\u2019re unbothered by it, your frustration and other negative emotions will only grow stronger. This will make the relationship increasingly strained and dysfunctional as time goes on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, Evenson contends that your pent-up feelings may eventually become uncontainable, and you\u2019ll rant at the other person in a way that\u2019s inappropriately intense. This kind of outburst can permanently sour a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In Dare to Lead<\/em><\/a>, Bren\u00e9 Brown explains that if you suppress your negative emotions instead of expressing them in a healthy way, it could manifest in many different unhealthy ways<\/a>\u2014not just an angry explosion at the person frustrating you. For instance, as your negative feelings grow, you might develop a dependence<\/a> on something that numbs you, such as food, alcohol, or gambling. Or, you might resort to the defense mechanism of toxic positivity, where you outwardly pretend to be unreasonably happy about everything. While this may help you avoid conflict<\/a>, it will also cause others to perceive you as inauthentic, preventing you from building trusting relationships<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve established that proper conflict resolution is a necessary part of any healthy relationship\u2014at work or otherwise. In her book, Evenson divides the process of conflict resolution into five stages:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n