{"id":12996,"date":"2020-09-02T09:39:29","date_gmt":"2020-09-02T13:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=12996"},"modified":"2020-09-04T23:21:06","modified_gmt":"2020-09-05T03:21:06","slug":"dating-power-dynamics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating Power Dynamics: How PUAs Use Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What can the PUA community tell us about dating power dynamics? How do PUAs use dating power dynamics to improve their strategies as PUAs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dating power dynamics are things such as confidence, gender roles, and social skills. PUAs utilized common knowledge about gender roles\u2014like that women were taught to be submissive. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read about the strategies formed by PUAs that took advantage of these dating power dynamics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Do Dating Power Dynamics Work?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Power dynamics in relationships are an important part of dating. Society teaches women to be submissive, which causes many women to make themselves seem less imposing and even less intelligent in an effort to appear more attractive to men. This was part of the reason negs worked in seduction, because it played up this power hierarchy between men and women, and one of the dating power dynamics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But some women rejected the usual dating dynamics model\u2014and Lisa was one of them. Lisa had inner confidence that didn\u2019t rely on validation from anyone else. <strong>Negs bounced right off of Lisa because she could dismiss them without a moment of doubt about who she was or how awesome she was; if the guy negging her didn\u2019t see that, it was his problem.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Soon, Style and Lisa began spending more time together. They had common interests and great chemistry, but even after spending multiple nights together, talking in bed, Lisa wouldn\u2019t let Style kiss her.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Negging didn\u2019t work. None of his routines worked. Freezing her out didn\u2019t help. She was adamant.&nbsp;The power dynamics in relationships was something Style had previously understood, but now he was baffled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Style began to doubt himself. He prided himself on his ability to kiss-close women within a half-hour of meeting them. <strong>Style wondered if Lisa saw through his techniques to the man he\u2019d been before he joined the community, the man who was insecure and afraid of women\u2019s power to reject him.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Style\u2019s Seduction Tactics Push Lisa Away<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>When Lisa went out of town to play with the band, she asked Style if they could have dinner together when she was back in town. <strong>Still relying on his seduction strategies, Style gave a cocky-funny response\u2014but it backfired, and Lisa was turned off by Style\u2019s obnoxious reply.&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Style managed to salvage dinner plans, and he eagerly prepared for the night Lisa was scheduled to return to LA. Style waited at the airport, but Lisa never showed up. He called, but she didn\u2019t pick up the phone or return his messages.&nbsp;Style was confused because Lisa seemed immune to dating dynamics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Style found out later from Love that Lisa had come in on an earlier flight. He was still confused as to why Lisa had stood him up.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A couple days later, Lisa called Style to say she was back in town. She offered no explanation or apology. Style felt sure that things were over between the two of them\u2014she clearly wasn\u2019t interested.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Style was on his way to Miami with another PUA, so he spent his trip <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sarging-pua-the-game\/\">sarging<\/a> and sleeping with women in an effort to get over Lisa. He used the massage routine to instigate another threesome, and, for a moment, he was on top of the world and dating dynamics were working for him. But as soon as it was over, he felt empty. <strong>Style realized that he had no real connection with any of the women he\u2019d spent the last two years sleeping with.&nbsp;<\/strong>This was one of the ways he evalutaed the power dynamics in relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dating power dynamics often come into play in different stages of a relationship. As you can see, PUAs depended on these dating power dynamics to be successful. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What can the PUA community tell us about dating power dynamics? How do PUAs use dating power dynamics to improve their strategies as PUAs? Dating power dynamics are things such as confidence, gender roles, and social skills. PUAs utilized common knowledge about gender roles\u2014like that women were taught to be submissive. Read about the strategies formed by PUAs that took advantage of these dating power dynamics.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":13043,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12,24],"tags":[118],"class_list":["post-12996","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","category-society","tag-the-game","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Dating Power Dynamics: How PUAs Use Them - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do dating power dynamics work in the PUA community? PUAs use dating power dynamics and gender role concepts to create pickup strategies.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dating Power Dynamics: How PUAs Use Them\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do dating power dynamics work in the PUA community? PUAs use dating power dynamics and gender role concepts to create pickup strategies.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-09-02T13:39:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-09-05T03:21:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/dating-power-dynamics-the-game-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Carrie Cabral\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Carrie Cabral\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2ababb7c63a94ff5d2190f71dc417d56\"},\"headline\":\"Dating Power Dynamics: How PUAs Use Them\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-02T13:39:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-09-05T03:21:06+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\"},\"wordCount\":642,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/dating-power-dynamics-the-game-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Game\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Relationships\",\"Society\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/\",\"name\":\"Dating Power Dynamics: How PUAs Use Them - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dating-power-dynamics\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/dating-power-dynamics-the-game-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-09-02T13:39:29+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-09-05T03:21:06+00:00\",\"description\":\"How do dating power dynamics work in the PUA community? 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