Want to know how to adapt to changes in your life? How can you embrace a new way of being?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Navigating life changes can be difficult, but Bruce Feiler, the author of Life Is in the Transitions,<\/em> argues that you can make it easier by approaching it intentionally and proactively. He proposes seven strategies that can help you adapt to life changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep reading for an in-depth look at each strategy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Feiler\u2019s first strategy for how to adapt to changes involves understanding and finding ways to cope with the emotions that come up while you\u2019re grieving the end of your old reality<\/strong>\u2014particularly fear, sadness, and shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During his research, Feiler observed that many people had to overcome fear<\/a> as they transitioned from a major life change. He names a few common strategies that can help with this. The first is to compare the discomfort you feel in your current reality to the fear of making a big life change<\/strong>. Transitions can be scary, but staying stuck in the same old rut forever may be even more terrifying. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another strategy Feiler recommends is to make a list of your goals, which can motivate you to overcome your fears<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, Feiler says you can choose to face your fears<\/a> head on\u2014for example, if you\u2019re afraid of going back to school, you might decide to swallow that fear and sign up for classes anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another common emotion people face during life changes is sadness. Feiler notes three strategies people use to cope with sadness. The first is accepting the sadness\u2014allowing it to be part of your story without trying to get rid of it. The second is leaning on loved ones for support while you grieve. The third is facing the source of your sadness by talking about it or deliberately reminding yourself of it, allowing you to fully feel your grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Finally, many people feel shame during transitions as they look back on the perceived failures of their lives. In interviews, Feiler gathered that the best way to combat this shame is to invest time and effort into the aspects of your life that the shame impacts the most. You can do this by taking actions that directly address the areas where you feel you\u2019ve fallen short. For example, if you feel shame about hurting your family and thus feel separated from them, the best way to counteract that shame would be to attend a family event and reconnect with them\u2014to restore your sense of belonging<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler\u2019s second strategy for navigating transitions is to mourn deliberately. One way to do this is to create personally significant rituals to mark the ending of one life phase and the beginning of another. These rituals allow you to externalize and honor your grief, whether you\u2019re mourning a literal death or a symbolic one. Processing loss in this way is especially important in the case of traumatic loss\u2014if you don\u2019t process the loss properly, you\u2019re more likely to develop symptoms of trauma<\/a> later on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Feiler, there are four types of mourning rituals to choose from:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way to mourn deliberately, according to Feiler, is to gather and periodically interact with physical keepsakes that remind you of the thing you\u2019re grieving. Feiler says that such objects encapsulate memories, and interacting with them allows us to revisit those memories whenever we need to. For example, if a friend of yours who was an artist has died, hanging a piece of art on their wall could create opportunities to feel their presence again and remember the moments you shared together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler explains that one of the most difficult parts of navigating change is deciding your next steps. In the wake of a transformation, your old habits and beliefs no longer fit\u2014so you need to let them die. In some cases, you might welcome this\u2014for example, if you have a health crisis that forces you to stop smoking, you could feel eager to make the change and grateful for the wakeup call. In other cases, letting go of some aspects of your former self can be hard. For example, if you took a pay cut upon accepting a new job, you might struggle to adjust your spending habits. Regardless, Feiler says it\u2019s important to let go of the habits and beliefs that no longer serve you\u2014then, you can replace them with new ones that align with your current reality. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You need to find new ways to fill your days and discover what feels meaningful to you now, but developing new habits<\/a> and beliefs isn\u2019t always easy. The approach you start with just after a life change may not be the one you stick with, and Feiler says that\u2019s OK. What\u2019s important is that you give yourself opportunities to experiment with potential paths forward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler explains that you can approach the challenge of figuring out your next steps in one of three ways\u2014by embracing structure, embracing chaos, or seeking wisdom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler says that if you know (or think you know) what you want to do next, you can take steps to pursue it right away. For example, you might enroll in a personal training program to become healthier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re not sure of your next steps, Feiler says you can explore a variety of potential interests and activities to see what resonates with you. For example, you may dabble in different hobbies, attend various workshops, and volunteer for diverse causes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If neither of the above options sounds appealing, Feiler suggests that you turn to personal reflection<\/a> or seek wisdom from others before determining your next steps. For example, you could take up a contemplative practice like tai chi that gives you opportunities to look inward, or you could work with a spiritual advisor or life coach to clarify your values<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In Feiler\u2019s research, he found that many people turned to creative outlets during transitional periods of their lives. He explains that creating something can be cathartic, and it\u2019s also a good way to explore the new feelings and ideas that result from transformational experiences. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are four ways you can tap into creativity<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pick up an art or craft you\u2019ve never tried before. <\/strong>Transitions can leave you feeling isolated, bored, or confused. Feiler says these emotions make excellent creative fodder, since they make space for innovative ideas and out-of-character interests to pop up. This makes transitions an excellent opportunity to stretch your creative limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Resume an art or craft you forgot you loved. <\/strong>Many people exhibit artistic talents as children or young adults, but they put them aside as life becomes busier and priorities shift. According to Feiler, transitions are a good opportunity to reconnect with the artistic side of yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Find new ways to move your body. <\/strong>Feiler argues that physical movement can unlock ideas and aspects of your personality that have been lying dormant. For example, starting a yoga practice could teach you to connect with your emotions<\/a> and could promote a sense of inner calm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Take up writing. <\/strong>Writing helps you organize your thoughts and make sense of your experiences. Feiler says this is especially helpful when you\u2019re experiencing turbulence after a transformative life change. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler explains that sharing your transformation with others can make enduring the transformation easier. Talking about your experiences<\/a> cuts through loneliness\u2014which many people experience when their lives are in a state of upheaval\u2014and has even been shown to improve physical health<\/a> outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feiler describes five ways that talking about what you\u2019re going through with others can help you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might receive support. <\/strong>Feiler explains that when you share about your life, you give others a chance to understand, comfort, and validate you, which can make the burden you\u2019re carrying feel easier to bear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might feel encouraged. <\/strong>According to Feiler, letting others know what you\u2019re dealing with opens the door to advice and points of view that can keep you moving forward. For example, talking with friends about your career options could help you clarify your goals and create an action plan<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might get a reality check. <\/strong>During a transition, you may be prone to unrealistic or unhelpful thought patterns<\/a>. Feiler says sharing your thoughts with others allows you to hear outside perspectives that help you see things more clearly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might be inspired. <\/strong>If you open up about what you\u2019re going through, you could learn that someone else has been through something similar and emerged stronger. According to Feiler, hearing their stories can offer you hope and can motivate you to persevere. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You might get negative feedback. <\/strong>Feiler acknowledges that not everyone you\u2019re vulnerable with will be sympathetic to your struggles, hopes, and fears. However, if someone reacts poorly to your story, you can still grow from that experience: The desire to prove them wrong or address their criticism can motivate you to work harder, find meaning in your transformation, and create a life worth living. <\/p>\n\n\n\nStrategy 1: Cope With Your Emotions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
How to Cope With Fear<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Cope With Sadness<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Cope With Shame<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Strategy 2: Mourn Deliberately<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
Strategy 3: Explore New Ways of Being<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Embrace Structure<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Embrace Chaos<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Seek Wisdom<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Strategy 4: Tap Into Creativity<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Strategy 5: Talk About It<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Strategy 6: Take a Step Into Your New Life<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n