{"id":1284,"date":"2019-09-15T19:43:45","date_gmt":"2019-09-15T23:43:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=1284"},"modified":"2020-01-15T16:28:25","modified_gmt":"2020-01-15T20:28:25","slug":"rule-5-do-not-let-your-children-do-anything-that-makes-you-dislike-them-jordan-peterson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/rule-5-do-not-let-your-children-do-anything-that-makes-you-dislike-them-jordan-peterson\/","title":{"rendered":"Rule 5: Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In 12 Rules for Life<\/em>, Rule #5 is “Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them.” What does this mean? Why shouldn’t you let your children act like brats?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ultimate point is that you have a responsibility to teach your child the rules of society<\/a>. If you don’t, society will, in a much meaner way. Learn more about Jordan Peterson’s Rule 5.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Overview of Jordan Peterson’s Rule 5<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Children aren\u2019t born ready for life. This is partly a biological compromise with head size – too big of a head wouldn\u2019t fit through a woman\u2019s birth canal. This is also partly because much of human culture isn\u2019t written in our genes – culture has developed faster than biological evolutionary cycles. Instead, as children age, they develop physically, and they also learn a lot about how the human world works.
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This means children need training and feedback to understand how to navigate human society.<\/strong> If you\u2019re a typical parent, you want your children to succeed, and helping your children become well-liked, functioning members of society is a key part of success.
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According to Jordan Peterson’s Rule 5, children, curious and exploratory as they are, constantly test limits to figure out where the boundaries are<\/strong>. When they get corrective feedback<\/a>, they understand where the boundary is. \u201cI now know it\u2019s not OK to throw food on the floor on a restaurant, because my mom yelled at me for it.\u201d
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Furthermore, while it\u2019s tempting to think of them as cherubic angels, they have capacity for evil inside them. They will not bloom into perfection if left to their own devices. So if they hit you or yell in supermarkets, and you don\u2019t provide corrective feedback, they\u2019ll think it\u2019s ok. They\u2019ll learn the wrong boundaries of society. Then when they become adults, they\u2019ll be poorly adjusted to function in broader society.
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Parents Who Fail to Teach their Kids<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Many parents, in a misguided effort to avoid damaging their child or wanting to be their child\u2019s friend, avoid giving corrective feedback to their kids.<\/strong> These are the parents who let their kids curse at them in public or scream disruptively in movie theaters. These parents are teaching their kids the wrong boundaries of society, and in effect they\u2019re outsourcing the training to society. \u201cHere\u2019s my kid – society, please teach him the right rules.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The problem is that society doesn\u2019t care about your child nearly as much as you do.<\/strong> If you<\/em> dislike your own child at times, imagine how other people will react. Other people will swiftly judge and punish your child mercilessly, with nowhere near the tolerance and patience that you have for your child. Here are examples of how a poorly socialized child will be rejected by society:<\/p>\n\n\n\n