{"id":124625,"date":"2024-03-16T14:29:00","date_gmt":"2024-03-16T18:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=124625"},"modified":"2024-03-22T14:37:47","modified_gmt":"2024-03-22T18:37:47","slug":"types-of-denial","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/types-of-denial\/","title":{"rendered":"The 2 Types of Denial That Prevent You From Being Successful"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the two types of denial? What are ways you may delay reaching your goals<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One certain thing is that, no matter what your goals are in life, something will get in your way. Though unforeseeable circumstances are, by definition, unpredictable, you can predict that something <\/em>will go wrong and prepare yourself so you won\u2019t get stopped indefinitely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn about two types of denial that make it hard to move forward in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

2 Types of Denial<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Adam Alter cites the work of Bruce Feiler, who studies the crises that occur in our lives, from minor jolts to catastrophes. Feiler has found that there\u2019s no schedule or pattern to the chaotic events that interfere with our plans, but he\u2019s determined that most of them are sudden and that about 10% of them are life-changing\u2014such as the death of a loved one<\/a> or the loss of a job. It\u2019s important to recognize that unplanned turmoil will enter your life, and you have to stay mentally flexible to deal with whatever comes your way<\/strong>. The hard part is judging how much energy to devote to dealing with life\u2019s stressors so that your long-term goals don\u2019t get lost amid the chaos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Beyond the statistical insights Alter mentions, Feiler\u2019s book, Life Is in the Transitions<\/em><\/a>, makes the point that we\u2019re vulnerable to unplanned, life-changing events because we assume that life\u2019s benchmarks occur in linear stages, such as childhood, adulthood, and old age. This belief is dangerous because it colors our expectations; we expect to move smoothly from one stage to another, leaving us unprepared for life\u2019s roadblocks. When you run into an unexpected change\u2014such as being fired or learning that you\u2019re pregnant\u2014Feiler writes that you\u2019re faced with reassessing the underlying sources of meaning in your life.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wrong way to deal with life\u2019s messiness is through denial.<\/strong> Alter points to two types of denial that make things worse\u2014believing that a problem is too small to matter and mistakenly judging that a problem is so far away it\u2019s not an issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Denial Tactic #1: Trivializing a Problem<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The first way<\/a> we deny something, says Alter, is by trivializing a problem that we don\u2019t want to deal with. This can be as simple as ignoring your car\u2019s \u201ccheck engine\u201d warnings. You tell yourself that the car\u2019s running fine\u2014that you\u2019ll wait and have it checked when it\u2019s more convenient. Weeks go by, maybe even months, then suddenly you\u2019re stranded on the side of the road with smoke billowing out from your engine. Assuming an issue is trivial when there\u2019s a possibility that it\u2019s not is a good way to turn preventable problems into major disruptions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: We practice this type of denial to shield ourselves from the anxiety and irritation that we\u2019ve learned to associate with life\u2019s difficulties. However, in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck<\/em><\/a>, Mark Manson argues that you can counter this by adopting the viewpoint that problems are good for you<\/a>, specifically those problems in life that you can solve. Rather than trivializing life\u2019s issues, as Alter says we\u2019re often wont to do, you can give yourself an emotional boost by tackling these problems head-on. Solving them always improves your life in some way, plus you get to pat yourself on the back and improve your self-esteem<\/a> while checking them off your list.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Denial Tactic #2: Delaying Action<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The other insidious form denial takes is when we recognize that a problem exists, but we act like it\u2019s so far in the future that we can afford to procrastinate<\/a>. Millions of Americans do this every year when they put off filing their income tax returns because it\u2019s a stressful, confusing ordeal. Alter writes that when you know a major problem is on the horizon, procrastination multiplies how much it interferes with your life<\/strong>. The alternative is to deal with it sooner\u2014it\u2019ll still be a speed bump, but less so than the emotional stress of putting everything aside to meet the urgent deadline you create for yourself when the problem finally can\u2019t be ignored any longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Alter portrays procrastination in a negative light, but not every author on the subject agrees. Entrepreneur Saul Griffith devised his technique of productive procrastination<\/a> when he found traditional anti-procrastination tips didn\u2019t work. Griffith stopped trying to force himself to focus on what he was supposed <\/em>to be doing, as long as he was doing something that benefited his overall self-improvement, such as learning a fun new skill. If you take this approach, that skill would ideally serve you well in other contexts, so the time spent \u201cprocrastinating\u201d on it will pay dividends later on.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the two types of denial? What are ways you may delay reaching your goals? One certain thing is that, no matter what your goals are in life, something will get in your way. Though unforeseeable circumstances are, by definition, unpredictable, you can predict that something will go wrong and prepare yourself so you won\u2019t get stopped indefinitely. Keep reading to learn about two types of denial that make it hard to move forward in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":124727,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[1426],"class_list":["post-124625","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","tag-anatomy-of-a-breakthrough","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe 2 Types of Denial That Prevent You From Being Successful - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The wrong way to deal with life\u2019s messiness is through denial. 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