{"id":124613,"date":"2024-03-16T14:18:00","date_gmt":"2024-03-16T18:18:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=124613"},"modified":"2024-03-22T14:35:49","modified_gmt":"2024-03-22T18:35:49","slug":"how-to-get-information-out-of-someone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-get-information-out-of-someone\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get Information Out of Someone in a Negotiation"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you need information that someone isn&#8217;t willing to give up? What happens in a negotiation when someone shares information?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Herb Cohen says that in a win-lose negotiation, each party has a negotiation ceiling: the maximum amount they\u2019re willing to sacrifice in exchange for what they want. The goal is to discover the other party\u2019s true ceiling while hiding your true ceiling so they can\u2019t do the same to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Discover <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-get-information-out-of-someone-2\/\">how to get information out of someone<\/a> while staying an enigma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-discover-your-opponent-s-negotiation-ceiling-and-hide-yours\"><strong>Discover Your Opponent&#8217;s Negotiation Ceiling (and Hide Yours) <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Generally, <strong>any information about either party is a clue\u2014big or small\u2014about their negotiation ceiling.<\/strong> Thus, win-lose negotiators try to reveal as little as possible about themselves and the situation they\u2019re in. For example, if you\u2019re looking to sell a fast-food franchise location, you would want to hide the fact that you\u2019re moving into a more affordable house because you can\u2019t pay your mortgage. If you even make an offhand comment about how your kids are about to go to college, it could hint to opposing negotiators that you\u2019re strapped for cash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To learn how to get information out of someone so you have the advantage, Cohen recommends making the other party do as much of the talking as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How to Extract Information<\/strong><br><br>Discovering your opponent\u2019s negotiation ceiling is all about getting them to confess as much relevant information as possible. Here are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.scienceofpeople.com\/confess\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">some tips for how to do so<\/a>:<br><br>Every time the other person stops talking, pause for a few seconds before responding. Often, people will fill that silence with valuable information\u2014especially if they\u2019re nervously trying to hide something.<br><br>Give <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nonverbal-cues\/\">nonverbal signals<\/a> of interest: Rub your chin and nod your head to make it look like you\u2019re absorbing and reflecting on what they\u2019re saying. This encourages the other party to keep talking while allowing you to stay completely silent, eliminating the risk that you\u2019ll give away key information.<br><br>Share something basic and human to create feelings of connection that will help get the other party to open up. For example, negotiate while splitting lunch or snacks, or pour the two of you a drink.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-another-important-ceiling-time-limits\">Another Important Ceiling: Time Limits<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In every negotiation, each party also has a <em>time limit<\/em>, after which they can no longer make a deal. No matter who you\u2019re negotiating against, Cohen argues that they have a time limit, even if it isn\u2019t obvious. For instance, let\u2019s say your boss gives you an additional task that you don\u2019t have time to do, and you go into their office to talk them into assigning it to someone else. If you keep negotiating and refuse to leave, it might be 20 minutes before they decide that you\u2019re taking too much of their time, and they\u2019ll force the negotiation to a conclusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cohen contends that <strong>most negotiators wait until the last possible second\u2014just before their time limit\u2014to offer everything they\u2019re willing to offer<\/strong> (in other words, to hit their negotiation ceiling). Why? This gives them the most time to convince the other party to agree to more favorable terms. There\u2019s no reason for them to reveal their true negotiation ceiling until they run out of time to make the deal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This means that if you know the opposing negotiator\u2019s time limit and they don\u2019t know yours, you can confidently hold out, giving in to few or none of their demands, until their time limit arrives. They\u2019ll assume you\u2019re under less time pressure than you really are and will make an offer at their negotiation ceiling just before their time limit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Counterpoint: Intentionally Reveal Your Time Limit<\/strong><br><br>In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Never Split the Difference<\/em><\/a>, Chris Voss cites <em>You Can Negotiate Anything<\/em> and specifically <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\/chapter-6#using-deadlines-to-your-advantage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">argues against the negotiation strategy Cohen recommends here<\/a>. According to Voss, if you hide your time limit from the other party, they might assume that you have <em>more<\/em> time to make a deal than you really do. If this happens, you\u2019ll be the only one making concessions since you\u2019re the only one who knows about your impending time limit.<br><br>Rather than hiding your time limit, Voss recommends being open about it and flipping it into a deadline for the other negotiator. State outright that you\u2019re going to walk away if they haven\u2019t given you an acceptable deal before your time limit. This way, you can force your opponent to start bartering in earnest and make concessions&nbsp;of their own, regardless of their time limit. They don\u2019t want the deal to fall through, wasting everyone\u2019s time.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you need information that someone isn&#8217;t willing to give up? What happens in a negotiation when someone shares information? Herb Cohen says that in a win-lose negotiation, each party has a negotiation ceiling: the maximum amount they\u2019re willing to sacrifice in exchange for what they want. The goal is to discover the other party\u2019s true ceiling while hiding your true ceiling so they can\u2019t do the same to you. Discover how to get information out of someone while staying an enigma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":124773,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34],"tags":[1425],"class_list":["post-124613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","tag-you-can-negotiate-anything","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Get Information Out of Someone in a Negotiation - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everyone&#039;s trying to hide something in a negotiation. 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