{"id":124299,"date":"2024-03-06T12:11:00","date_gmt":"2024-03-06T16:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=124299"},"modified":"2024-03-11T11:19:10","modified_gmt":"2024-03-11T15:19:10","slug":"how-to-go-down-on-a-woman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-go-down-on-a-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Go Down on a Woman to Achieve an Orgasm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you know how to go down on a woman? What do women like?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To go down on a woman, you need to start slowly to build anticipation and then keep a consistent rhythm with your tongue. You can also use your hand to add extra stimulation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn best practices for oral sex with this guide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-go-down-on-her\">How to Go Down on Her<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>For many women, sexual pleasure hinges on whether their partner goes down on them. So, learning how to go down on a woman can be very valuable for dating. Many women can achieve orgasm more easily (or only) through oral stimulation rather than penetrative sex. Men should learn about and become comfortable with going down on their partner regularly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How to Go Down On Her<\/strong><br><br>Ian Kerner&#8217;s approach to cunnilingus in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/she-comes-first\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>She Comes First<\/em><\/a> can be summarized in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/she-comes-first\/1-page-summary#cunnilingus\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">four steps geared toward building arousal and ultimately, leading a woman to orgasm<\/a> through oral stimulation. Kerner\u2019s steps are as follows:<br><br>Step #1: First ContactKerner begins by stressing the importance of a comfortable and practical position with the woman on her back, legs slightly bent, and a pillow for support. The buildup to &#8220;the first kiss&#8221; includes teasing the area around her vulva with pursed lips, heightening anticipation. First contact with the clitoris should be a measured, gentle lick from the vaginal entrance over the clitoral head, pausing to apply light pressure with the tip of the tongue.<br><br>Step #2: RhythmCreating a rhythm with your tongue strokes is crucial, alternating between motion and stillness to amplify arousal without overstimulating. Kerner says that after establishing the basic rhythm, you should avoid direct clitoral stimulation at times to let anticipation build, focusing instead on surrounding areas. When returning to the clitoral head, gentle pressure can be applied with the tongue&#8217;s tip.<br><br>Step #3: Manual StimulationAs arousal continues to mount, Kerner advises the introduction of manual stimulation. Begin with light touches around the labia and gradually move to more involved techniques, such as inserting a finger into the vagina and employing a \u201ccome hither\u201d motion to stimulate the G-spot, while the other hand can be used for added support and stimulation.<br><br>Step #4: Approaching OrgasmTo guide her toward orgasm, Kerner recommends increasing pressure on the clitoral head with consistent tongue sweeps while providing points of resistance, such as pressing against her front commissure. Keeping one hand under her buttocks can aid in this. As the orgasm approaches, indicators include rapid breathing, heightened muscle tension, and physiological responses indicating climax. Maintaining continuous stimulation through her orgasm ensures a more complete and satisfying experience.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-pay-attention-to-physical-and-verbal-cues\">Pay Attention to Physical and Verbal Cues<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When you\u2019re engaging in foreplay, going down on your partner, or having penetrative sex, <strong>pay attention to her <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a> and verbal cues<\/strong>. Note her breath\u2014if it becomes faster or heavier, it&#8217;s a good sign she&#8217;s enjoying what you&#8217;re doing. Watch her physical responses\u2014her body might arch or move in rhythm with your touch if she&#8217;s aroused. Her facial expressions can also provide valuable feedback. Verbal cues, such as moans or words of encouragement, are also important indicators of her pleasure. And always, if you don\u2019t know if she likes something, or what she wants, just ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform: Women\u2019s physical and verbal cues don\u2019t <em>always<\/em> accurately represent their pleasure experience. As Meg Ryan famously demonstrates in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6pQgbEEFPq0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the deli scene in <em>When Harry Met Sally<\/em><\/a>, a woman can easily fake an orgasm. A study by British researchers found that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.cbsnews.com\/news\/ouch-80-percent-of-women-faking-orgasms-says-study\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">80% of women reported having faked orgasms during sex<\/a>. Interestingly, the act of faking orgasms isn&#8217;t solely confined to heterosexual relationships. One study noted <a href=\"https:\/\/lesbiannews.com\/lesbian-fake-orgasms-happen\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">women in same-sex relationships also admitted to periodically faking orgasms<\/a>. Faking orgasms can be motivated by complicated emotional and psychological factors, including the desire to protect a partner&#8217;s feelings, address self-consciousness, or reduce personal discomfort during sex.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you know how to go down on a woman? What do women like? To go down on a woman, you need to start slowly to build anticipation and then keep a consistent rhythm with your tongue. You can also use your hand to add extra stimulation. Learn best practices for oral sex with this guide.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":124300,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,43],"tags":[1423],"class_list":["post-124299","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-the-mans-guide-to-women","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Go Down on a Woman to Achieve an Orgasm - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Oral sex involves asking your partner what she likes, but there are also general guidelines. 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