{"id":121340,"date":"2024-01-23T14:54:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-23T18:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=121340"},"modified":"2024-01-25T15:37:20","modified_gmt":"2024-01-25T19:37:20","slug":"brene-brown-true-belonging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-true-belonging\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown on True Belonging &#038; Accepting Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What&#8217;s true belonging? What traits are necessary to exhibit true belonging?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, true belonging is the ability to express yourself honestly. It embraces the idea that being true to yourself supersedes what anyone else thinks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn more about this concept.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-true-belonging\"><strong>What Is True Belonging?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Bren\u00e9 Brown&#8217;s <strong>true belonging means feeling secure in communicating and living out your values despite what others may think<\/strong>. In contrast, <em>fitting in<\/em> means conforming with <em>other <\/em>people\u2019s expectations. For example, if your family is <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/political-discourse\/\">talking about politics<\/a> at the dinner table, and you disagree with everyone else, you might embody true belonging by challenging their opinions or explaining why you believe differently, even if it\u2019s uncomfortable. Fitting in might look like nodding along with what others are saying to avoid a potential conflict.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Clarifying the Term True Belonging<\/strong><br><br>Brown\u2019s concept of true belonging is difficult to define succinctly because she uses the book as a whole to fully illustrate this nuanced concept and what it looks like. Nonetheless, examining similar terms can help us better understand the phrase. True belonging is akin to what many refer to as <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/smashing-the-brainblocks\/202211\/what-it-means-to-be-truly-authentic\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>living authentically<\/em><\/a>: acting in alignment with your values and personality. However, true belonging also encompasses the <em>result<\/em> of living authentically\u2014the feeling of being at peace because you don\u2019t need to mold yourself to other people\u2019s expectations. In this way, true belonging is more of a state of being or a state of mind, rather than a behavior.&nbsp;<br><br>Brown also clarifies the term in her book <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atlas-of-the-heart\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Atlas of the Heart<\/em><\/a>, where she<em> <\/em>describes true belonging as the <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atlas-of-the-heart\/1-page-summary#when-we-reach-out-to-others-love-trust-and-vulnerability\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>near enemy<\/em><\/a> of fitting in (rather than the strict opposite). <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\">Near enemies<\/a> are two things that seem similar but actually oppose each other. In other words, fitting in resembles a good thing\u2014feeling connected to and accepted by others\u2014except it requires putting up a false front to avoid negative attention. Later in the guide, we\u2019ll explore how you can achieve a state of \u201ctrue belonging,\u201d partly by avoiding its near enemy of \u201cfitting in.\u201d&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-prerequisites-and-tradeoffs-of-true-belonging\"><strong>Prerequisites and Tradeoffs of True Belonging<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown emphasizes that <strong>true belonging requires bravery and vulnerability.<\/strong> You have to be brave to say what you believe and feel, even when doing so risks rejection and backlash from the people around you. They could be dismissive and rude\u2014or your speaking up can pave the way for a thoughtful discussion.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are the tradeoffs of true belonging: <strong>You risk facing potential backlash, but you gain the possibility of meaningful dialogue and inner peace as a result of genuine self-acceptance<\/strong>. This is why Brown\u2019s central metaphor for this challenge is the \u201cwilderness\u201d\u2014a place where you never know what difficulties await and where you might feel alone and intimidated, but where you might also have some of the most rewarding experiences of your life. For example, in the previous scenario, if you speak up about your political beliefs, you may walk away from the situation with a sense of peace because you were honest, and with greater conviction in your beliefs.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Role of Self-Awareness in True Belonging<\/strong><br><br>Other experts suggest there may be another key requirement to say and enact what you genuinely feel: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/smashing-the-brainblocks\/202211\/what-it-means-to-be-truly-authentic\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">self-awareness<\/a>. Even if you\u2019re brave enough to speak up and willing to make yourself vulnerable, <strong>you must first <em>understand<\/em> yourself deeply to know what you want to say and what you believe<\/strong>. However, the concept of self-awareness itself is also difficult to define and impossible to ever <em>fully<\/em> achieve since we\u2019re constantly evolving and learning about ourselves.<br><br>Although it may be a prerequisite to true belonging, <strong>increasing your self-awareness comes with its own <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/liveboldandbloom.com\/06\/self-awareness\/self-awareness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>tradeoffs<\/strong><\/a><strong> <\/strong>that you\u2019ll have to overcome in addition to those that Brown describes for true belonging. For example, through <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-self-reflect\/\">self-reflection<\/a>, you may discover <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/parts-of-the-self\/\">parts of yourself<\/a> that you\u2019re not proud of or are simply difficult to acknowledge. You might find, for instance, that you have little in common now with an old friend. On the other hand, self-awareness can help you set better boundaries and achieve self-acceptance by learning more about your needs and values.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s true belonging? What traits are necessary to exhibit true belonging? According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, true belonging is the ability to express yourself honestly. It embraces the idea that being true to yourself supersedes what anyone else thinks. Keep reading to learn more about this concept.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":44236,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9,12],"tags":[1374],"class_list":["post-121340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-braving-the-wilderness","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bren\u00e9 Brown on True Belonging &amp; Accepting Yourself - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You shouldn&#039;t have to change who you are just because your friends want you to. 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