{"id":120256,"date":"2023-12-27T16:10:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-27T20:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=120256"},"modified":"2024-01-03T16:26:43","modified_gmt":"2024-01-03T20:26:43","slug":"why-are-people-unhappy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-are-people-unhappy\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are People Unhappy? Blame Erroneous Zones"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why are people unhappy? What are erroneous zones and how do they prevent happiness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Happiness may seem elusive, but Wayne W. Dyer asserts that you can choose to be happy at any moment, regardless of what’s happening around you. The problem is that you prevent yourself from being happy by allowing unproductive emotions to rule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn the psychology behind erroneous zones and their effect on people’s happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Erroneous Zones Keep You From Being Happy<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Why are people unhappy? Dyer argues that feelings aren\u2019t passive occurrences; rather, they\u2019re active reactions within your control<\/strong>. While anger, disappointment, or other emotions may seem valid, you should look at them through one lens: Do these emotions fulfill you or defeat you? (Shortform note: Dyer uses \u201cfeelings\u201d and \u201cemotions\u201d interchangeably, but in How Emotions Are Made<\/em><\/a>, neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett contends they\u2019re not the same thing<\/a>: Feelings are internal sensations, while emotions are the concepts your brain assigns to the feelings to give them meaning and help you determine how to act<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the feelings defeat you by leading you to self-sabotaging behaviors\u2014if they prevent you from taking action that leads to your growth and fulfillment\u2014then Dyer says you\u2019ve run into an erroneous zone. Some examples of erroneous zones are: needing to please other people, being unable to focus on the present, and procrastination. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Similar to how our brains aren\u2019t wired for happiness, we also have self-sabotaging tendencies<\/a> that stem from traits that were useful in the past but are no longer needed today. In The Laws of Human Nature<\/em><\/a>, Robert Greene writes that we self-sabotage because we\u2019re irrational, bad at long-term thinking<\/a>, and compulsive, and we have an inherent and unconscious sensitivity to particular stimuli.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why You Have Erroneous Zones<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Dyer says that even though erroneous zones keep you from growing and becoming a better, happier person, you still hold onto them for two reasons: You derive some benefit from them, and you don\u2019t love yourself enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Benefit From Erroneous Zones<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Dyer writes that you benefit from erroneous zones because they give you something or someone else to blame, allowing you to avoid accountability<\/a><\/strong>. They provide you with an excuse to stay where you are instead of taking risks and having to endure change, discomfort, or failure to find happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, say you\u2019re stuck in a job you don\u2019t like. You might convince yourself it\u2019s your parents\u2019 fault for insisting that you get a degree in a field you\u2019re not interested in, or you might blame your family for relying on you for financial support so you can\u2019t quit your job. By assigning responsibility for your situation to someone else, you have an excuse to stay in the job rather than face the risks of resigning and finding a new job that you like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: The tendency to blame someone or something else is what David J. Schwartz calls the \u201cdisease of excusitis.\u201d<\/a> In The Magic of Thinking Big<\/em><\/a>, he writes that excuse-prone people typically blame their health, age, intelligence, or luck for things they can\u2019t do. But Schwartz argues that successful people\u2014those who aren\u2019t plagued with the disease of excusitis\u2014focus on what they can<\/em> do, don\u2019t let circumstances hold them back, and turn challenges into stepping stones for progress.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another benefit of holding onto your erroneous zones, says Dyer, is that you gain sympathy, concern, and even approval from others<\/strong>. For example, instead of breaking up with a partner who treats you badly, you might rehash every incident of poor treatment to your supportive friends. Staying in your situation gives you an audience who showers you with attention, comforts you, and maybe even compliments you for being strong enough to endure it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Since the book was published in 1976, people have found new ways to try to gain sympathy and attention. One way they now do this is through \u201csadfishing\u201d<\/a>\u2014baring deeply personal issues in social media posts. While some people may do this to genuinely highlight an important issue, such as mental health, some influencers have been called out for using the tactic to peddle products<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You Don\u2019t Love Yourself Enough<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Dyer writes that the second reason you hold onto erroneous zones is a lack of self-love<\/strong>\u2014you wallow in negative self-talk<\/a> and don\u2019t value yourself enough to do what you want. If you love yourself, Dyer argues, you\u2019ll want<\/em> to go after what you want rather than remain stagnant, which means breaking free from behaviors that hold you back from having a fuller, happier life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Leadership consultant John C. Maxwell agrees with Dyer that self-love is crucial for growth. In The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth<\/em><\/a>, Maxwell explains that self-love helps you see the value of investing in yourself. However, Maxwell notes that self-love isn\u2019t enough\u2014you also need self-knowledge<\/em><\/a>, or an understanding of your values, passions, and capabilities. He writes that self-knowledge helps you grow by enabling you to set realistic goals<\/a> and preventing you from wasting time on things that aren\u2019t right for you. You can develop self-knowledge by reflecting on what you like to do, what you\u2019re good at, and what captivates you.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why are people unhappy? What are erroneous zones and how do they prevent happiness? Happiness may seem elusive, but Wayne W. Dyer asserts that you can choose to be happy at any moment, regardless of what’s happening around you. The problem is that you prevent yourself from being happy by allowing unproductive emotions to rule. Continue reading to learn the psychology behind erroneous zones and their effect on people’s happiness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":120300,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9],"tags":[1357],"class_list":["post-120256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","tag-your-erroneous-zones","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Are People Unhappy? 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