{"id":118368,"date":"2023-12-06T14:13:00","date_gmt":"2023-12-06T18:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=118368"},"modified":"2023-12-08T14:23:21","modified_gmt":"2023-12-08T18:23:21","slug":"emotional-discipline-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-discipline-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Peter Hollins’s 4 Emotional Discipline Tools to Avoid Impulses"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What’s emotional discipline<\/a>? What tools can help you build self-control?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Science of Self-Discipline<\/em>, Peter Hollins explains that taking a measured approach to developing discipline will make it sustainable. To develop a disciplined mindset, he offers a few strategies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading for his four emotional discipline tools.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

1. Motivate Yourself to Remain Disciplined<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hollins’s first emotional discipline tool is a motivational reason. According to Hollins, if you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve through discipline, it will motivate you to keep your healthy habits on track<\/strong> and persevere through challenging moments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hollins explains that there are three main categories of motivation: independence<\/a>, excellence, and service. A motivating goal will relate to at least one of these categories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Independence<\/strong>: This is a sense that you have the freedom to decide your actions. When you feel in control of your life and work, you\u2019re motivated to be more engaged<\/a> and productive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Excellence<\/strong>: This is your innate desire to improve at things. When you feel motivated to get better at something, there\u2019s practically no end to this drive because it\u2019s impossible to be perfect at anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Service<\/strong>: This is the idea that your discipline will have a meaningful effect on the world. For example, if you believe that the smoothie shop you\u2019re disciplined to save money for will bring joy and nutrition to your community, you\u2019ll probably be more motivated<\/a> to follow through with opening it than someone who is opening a business solely for personal profit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hollins says that it\u2019s also important to set discipline goals that are realistic enough to achieve but challenging enough to motivate you. <\/strong>If you shoot too high and don\u2019t attain your goal, you might be discouraged and give up. However, if your goal is too easy, you\u2019ll likely get bored with it. So, set realistic goals<\/a> with measurable checkpoints to give yourself a sense of accomplishment<\/a> and progress toward your goal. By doing this, you\u2019ll see that you\u2019re capable of improving, which will motivate you to continue with enthusiasm. Consistent positive reinforcement will also give your brain time to develop new neural pathways<\/a> and adjust to new patterns of behavior, which will help you sustain discipline more effectively in the long run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To set realistic goals, reflect on your past successes and failures, being honest with yourself about what factors led you to succeed or fail. Then, set a new goal that you think you could push yourself<\/a> to achieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Don\u2019t Fight Your Impulses, Observe Them<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hollins says that if you fight your urges, it makes them last longer and grow stronger<\/strong>, which puts you at greater risk of succumbing to them. You probably already know this if anyone\u2019s ever told you not to think about something. When you try to suppress a thought, your focus on that topic typically grows stronger. So, instead of suppressing your urges, allow yourself to experience them with an awareness that they\u2019re temporary. Hollins explains that this will help you stop identifying with your emotions and give you a position of power over them, which allows them to pass more easily. One way to do this is to picture your urge as a passing storm that comes on strong and then fades away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Attempting to suppress our inner thoughts and urges isn\u2019t a battle we typically win. This truth also applies to stress management. In The Upside of Stress<\/em><\/a>, Kelly McGonigal explains that trying to avoid things that stress you out only reinforces your stress about those things<\/a> and can even lead to new stresses. For example, if you avoid dating people because you fear you\u2019re an inadequate partner, you\u2019ll reinforce your negative belief about yourself. Additionally, you\u2019ll deprive yourself of the support a loving partner can provide, or you may stress about missing out on experiences that partnerships provide. Instead, McGonigal explains that embracing stress helps you overcome it and even use it to your advantage<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Remind Yourself That You\u2019re Capable of Maintaining Discipline<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hollins emphasizes the importance of believing that you\u2019re capable of maintaining discipline to reach your goals<\/a>. To affirm your strength when you feel weak, remember these tips:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice the 40% Rule<\/strong>. Developed by Navy SEALs, this rule means that when you feel like you\u2019ve reached your physical or mental limit amidst a challenge, you\u2019ve only exerted about 40% of what you have left in the tank. The 40% rule is supported by evidence for the placebo effect<\/a>, which is the influence our beliefs have on real-world outcomes. If you believe you have what it takes to maintain discipline\u2014even when it gets hard\u2014you\u2019ll find the willpower to keep going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember the progress you\u2019ve already made<\/strong>. By giving yourself credit for how far you\u2019ve already come in your journey to your goal and taking inventory of the ways you\u2019re capable of achieving your goal, you\u2019ll empower yourself<\/a> to push forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Another way to boost your confidence and persevere through moments of doubt is to take inventory of your strengths<\/a>. Once you know your strengths, you can rely on them to help overcome your weaknesses. To do this, write a list of your strengths and weaknesses, then group your weaknesses with strengths that you think could compensate for them. When you encounter situations that challenge one or more of your weaknesses, try to apply one of your related strengths to the situation. For example, if one of your weaknesses is learning new skills<\/a> but one of your strengths is interpersonal skills, consider asking for extra help or mentoring whenever you have to learn something new.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Consider Your Future Self<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hollins suggests that you can delay gratification<\/a> to gain more in the long run if you identify with your future self<\/a><\/strong>. When you realize your future self will reap whatever seeds you sow in the present, you\u2019ll be less likely to give in to fruitless temptations. Consider how your future self will be able to enjoy relaxation and fun more wholly when you know you\u2019ve already accomplished the things you were supposed to. If you don\u2019t do what you\u2019re supposed to, you\u2019ll likely be stressed about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To think about your future self more easily and avoid unhealthy rationalizations, apply the 10-10-10 rule<\/strong>. This means thinking about how the decision you\u2019re facing will affect you 10 minutes from now, 10 hours from now, and 10 days from now. To demonstrate the 10-10-10 rule, imagine you want to stop working to watch TV. Consider how in ten minutes you\u2019ll have made no further progress on your tasks. In ten hours, you\u2019ll probably have forgotten whatever you watched on TV, but you\u2019ll still be bothered by the work you still need to finish. In ten days, the TV you watched will have been inconsequential to progressing toward your goals, but any work you completed will have brought you that much further along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: By relenting to immediate gratification<\/a> and procrastinating the things you need to be doing, you\u2019ll not only stress yourself out, but you may also contribute to other health issues. Research shows that procrastination is associated with anxiety, depression, and arm pain<\/a>. Experts admit it\u2019s difficult to say whether these ailments are caused by procrastination or vice-versa, but procrastination can be removed from the equation by correcting behavior. Besides thought experiments<\/a> like the 10-10-10 rule Hollins mentions, experts suggest strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy and self-forgiveness<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What’s emotional discipline? What tools can help you build self-control? In The Science of Self-Discipline, Peter Hollins explains that taking a measured approach to developing discipline will make it sustainable. To develop a disciplined mindset, he offers a few strategies. 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