{"id":115177,"date":"2023-10-17T14:17:00","date_gmt":"2023-10-17T18:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=115177"},"modified":"2023-10-23T13:59:18","modified_gmt":"2023-10-23T17:59:18","slug":"unrealistic-expectations-of-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/unrealistic-expectations-of-women\/","title":{"rendered":"The Solutions to Unrealistic Expectations of Women"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How do women deal with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/impossible-expectations\/\">unrealistic expectations<\/a>? How do these unrealistic expectations develop?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In pursuit of perfection, women tend to develop unrealistically high expectations for themselves. According to <em>How Women Rise <\/em>by<em> <\/em>Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, these impede their progress in numerous ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s look at how unrealistic <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/expectations-of-women\/\">expectations of women<\/a> cause negative consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-unrealistic-expectations\"><strong>Unrealistic Expectations<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>First, unrealistic expectations of women cause high levels of stress and strong negative emotions when those expectations aren\u2019t met. Overly high expectations also cause women to hyper-focus on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/small-details\/\">small details<\/a> in pursuit of perfection, which can prevent them from reaching their big-picture goals. Perfectionists tend to avoid taking risks due to their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-overcome-fear-of-failure\/\">fear of failure<\/a>, which can disrupt their ability to advance their careers\u2014as the authors point out, risk-taking is a sought-after leadership quality because it enhances innovation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Experts reiterate the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/bonniemarcus\/2017\/02\/07\/do-you-beat-yourself-up-with-unrealistic-expectations\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">negative outcomes of unrealistic expectations<\/a> and explain that you can use <a href=\"https:\/\/www.atlassian.com\/blog\/productivity\/how-to-write-smart-goals\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">SMART goals<\/a> to determine whether you\u2019re setting yourself up for failure. First, ensure your goal is <em>Specific<\/em>\u2014what do you want, how will you get there, and who\u2019s responsible?<em> <\/em>Then ensure your goal is <em>Measurable<\/em>\u2014what benchmarks will indicate progress and completion? Next, ensure your goal is <em>Achievable<\/em>\u2014is it realistic, given constraints like time and resources? Check that the goal is <em>Relevant<\/em>\u2014is it contributing to an important bigger picture? Finally, consider <em>Timing<\/em>\u2014when do you want to start and finish the project?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Perfectionism may also damage perfectionists\u2019 reputations and relationships<\/strong>. First, they often have unrealistically high expectations of others as well as themselves, which may cause people to become resentful. Second, their high expectations constantly stress them out, which also stresses out the people around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: While unrealistic<em> <\/em>expectations of others in the workplace tend to have negative outcomes, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/pulse\/why-realistic-expectations-key-thriving-workplace-insights-purina\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>realistic <\/em>expectations can produce positive outcomes<\/a>. For example, having realistic expectations boosts productivity\u2014when people are able to meet expectations, they feel <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-sense-of-accomplishment\/\">a sense of accomplishment<\/a> that increases their morale. This also increases their confidence and well-being. If you&#8217;re able to cause these effects in your team members, you\u2019ll arguably be considered a strong leader by others, making you more likely to advance your career.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-unrealistic-expectations-the-solutions\">Unrealistic Expectations: The Solutions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors suggest a few solutions to overcome the negative impacts of having unrealistic expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-let-go-of-wanting-to-control-everything\/\">Let go of control<\/a>. <\/strong>Trust other people to use their skills and knowledge to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-complete-a-task-successfully\/\">complete tasks<\/a>, rather than trying to do everything yourself or constantly looking over people\u2019s shoulders to achieve \u201cperfect\u201d results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Learn to prioritize. <\/strong>Instead of focusing on perfecting every detail, identify the most important things you need to focus on to produce satisfactory results. Delegate tasks that don\u2019t require your direct attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Get comfortable taking risks. <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to do anything that will put your career on the line, but start taking risks that have a high probability of success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>To Spread Career Success, Be a \u201cTrust and Inspire\u201d Leader<\/strong><br><br>In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.simonandschuster.com\/books\/Trust-and-Inspire\/Stephen-M-R-Covey\/9781982143725\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Trust and Inspire<\/em><\/a>, Stephen Covey distinguishes effective \u201ctrust and inspire\u201d leaders from ineffective \u201ccommand and control\u201d leaders. He explains that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/trust-and-inspire-leadership\/\">trust and inspire leaders<\/a> effect the most success\u2014for themselves, their employees and coworkers, and their organizations\u2014because they empower people to reach their full potential and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-become-more-creative\/\">boost creativity<\/a> and innovation.&nbsp;<br><br>This is because when you let go of control, not only do you have more time to work on your own tasks, but you also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-an-inspiration\/\">inspire others<\/a> to produce high-quality results by showing them that you trust them and believe they\u2019re capable. Further, when you prioritize big-picture results rather than perfecting small details of the process, you leave more room for innovation and creativity. When you take measured risks, you\u2019re more likely to uncover new opportunities and innovations that will expedite your progress toward your goals.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do women deal with unrealistic expectations? How do these unrealistic expectations develop? In pursuit of perfection, women tend to develop unrealistically high expectations for themselves. According to How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith, these impede their progress in numerous ways. Let&#8217;s look at how unrealistic expectations of women cause negative consequences.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":56437,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,24],"tags":[1292],"class_list":["post-115177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career","category-society","tag-how-women-rise","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Solutions to Unrealistic Expectations of Women - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Have you ever wondered how unrealistic expectations of women develop? Blame society and perfectionism. 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