{"id":114026,"date":"2023-09-25T16:36:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-25T20:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=114026"},"modified":"2023-09-29T10:29:59","modified_gmt":"2023-09-29T14:29:59","slug":"accepting-your-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accepting-your-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Accepting Your Emotions: Give Yourself Permission to Feel"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you give yourself permission to feel what you feel? Do you allow yourself to struggle and even fail?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Clinical psychologist and management consultant Susan David promotes emotional agility. That means having objectivity about what happens and how you feel and then deliberately responding in a healthy way. Part of emotional agility is <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accept-your-emotions\/\">accepting your emotions<\/a> as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more to learn about the importance and the process of giving yourself permission to feel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-accepting-your-emotions\">Accepting Your Emotions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>David explains that accepting your emotions means<strong> compassionately giving yourself permission to feel, struggle, and fail. <\/strong>You\u2019ll acknowledge that neither the act of feeling unwanted emotions\u2014particularly guilt and shame\u2014nor the act of believing inaccurate narratives make you less of a person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To achieve acceptance and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/compassion-for-yourself\/\">self-compassion<\/a>, David encourages you to look at your own faults and flaws as you would those of a loved one or a young child\u2014with forgiveness. This strips away the accusatory power that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-narratives\/\">self-narratives<\/a> often hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In our example of feeling guilty about dropping out of college, you might be telling yourself that failing in the past makes you a failure. Self-compassion in this case might mean saying, \u201cI regret my past decision, but I can still learn from it and make different choices in the future.\u201d You acknowledge your past mistakes without believing the lie that you should feel guilt or shame <em>forever<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>David notes that accepting your emotions can help you use them for their evolutionary purpose: prompting behaviors that can improve your life. Regret from dropping out of college might prompt reflection and planning for a return to school or an attempt at moving up in your career\u2014<em>without<\/em> the fear that you\u2019re a failure who\u2019ll never succeed in new ventures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Importance of Accepting Your Emotions<\/strong><br><br>David emphasizes the power of self-compassion, but it may be even more important than she claims. Research suggests that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">mindfulness<\/a> and facing your emotions\u2014crucial components of emotional agility\u2014might <em>only <\/em>be effective for positive mental and physical health outcomes <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/30639835\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">when <em>paired <\/em>with acceptance.<\/a> In one study, participants who paid attention to and accepted their emotions <a href=\"https:\/\/pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/29040891\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">reduced their stress hormone and blood pressure levels.<\/a> Participants who <em>only <\/em>paid attention to their emotions but <em>didn\u2019t <\/em>accept them saw a much weaker improvement.<br><br>Research also shows that <em>exposure <\/em>to a source of stress (through exposure therapy) is effective for <a href=\"https:\/\/caogoldcoast.com\/blog\/why-exposure-works\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">reducing physiological responses to the stressor.<\/a> This helps your brain understand that the source of stress isn\u2019t actually a physical danger. Similarly, accepting negative emotions and realizing they\u2019re not a threat to you can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC5767148\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">help you feel less stress<\/a> when you experience those emotions.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you give yourself permission to feel what you feel? Do you allow yourself to struggle and even fail? Clinical psychologist and management consultant Susan David promotes emotional agility. That means having objectivity about what happens and how you feel and then deliberately responding in a healthy way. Part of emotional agility is accepting your emotions as they are. Read more to learn about the importance and the process of giving yourself permission to feel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":55010,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[1275],"class_list":["post-114026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-emotional-agility","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Accepting Your Emotions: Give Yourself Permission to Feel - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Accepting your emotions means compassionately giving yourself permission to feel, struggle, and fail. 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