{"id":112319,"date":"2023-09-04T11:20:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-04T15:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=112319"},"modified":"2023-09-05T12:58:40","modified_gmt":"2023-09-05T16:58:40","slug":"different-approaches-to-negotiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/","title":{"rendered":"The 2 Different Approaches to Negotiation, Explained"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What are the different approaches to negotiation? Which <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negotiation-skills-tactics-techniques\/\">negotiation tactic<\/a> will help you get what you want?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In our daily lives, we negotiate with others for things we want, whether the context is business or personal. Experts have different theories about the best approach to getting what you want out of a negotiation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading for the two main approaches to negotiation: emotional and rational.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-two-main-approaches-to-negotiation\"><strong>Two Main Approaches to Negotiation<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>At its most basic level, <strong>any negotiation is about getting something you need from someone <\/strong><strong><em>else<\/em><\/strong>. And, by the same token, they\u2019re looking to get something they need from <em>you<\/em>. To be a successful negotiator, you need to understand how we determine what our wants and needs are. Do our <em>emotions <\/em>drive those needs, or are we essentially utility maximizers who always follow rational incentives to increase our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/material-well-being\/\">material well-being<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The different answers to this question reflect the two different approaches to negotiation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The <em>emotional approach<\/em> says that in a negotiation, people are primarily motivated by their needs for emotional security and safety. Thus, your job as a negotiator is to help your counterpart meet those needs by practicing and displaying empathy toward them\u2014which will get them to let their emotional guard down and enable you to get what you want from them.<\/li><li>The <em>rational approach<\/em> says that your job as a negotiator is to efficiently and respectfully reach a fair agreement that provides clear and concrete benefits for both you and your counterpart. Contrary to the emotional approach, it\u2019s about deciding issues based on objective measures and <em>separating<\/em> emotions from the issue being negotiated.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-the-emotional-approach\">1. <strong>The Emotional Approach<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Never Split the Difference<\/em><\/a>, Chris Voss writes that<strong> <\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\/1-page-summary#the-emotional-basis-of-negotiation\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>good negotiation happens on the <em>emotional <\/em>level of the brain, not the rational level<\/strong><\/a>. Your job as a negotiator, Voss argues, is to practice and display empathy toward your counterpart by understanding their emotions, learning to see the situation from their point of view\u2014and, ultimately, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\/1-page-summary#calculated-empathy-make-them-feel-safe\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">getting them to feel comfortable enough with you to let their emotional guard down<\/a>. When they\u2019ve reached this level of comfort with you, you\u2019re in a better position to get them to agree to <em>your <\/em>terms and conditions and meet <em>your <\/em>needs.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Voss,<strong> most people have two basic emotional needs\u2014to feel secure and to feel in control.<\/strong> To help your counterpart meet these needs, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/never-split-the-difference\/1-page-summary#calculated-empathy-make-them-feel-safe\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Voss advocates using<strong> <\/strong>calculated empathy<\/a>\u2014understanding someone <em>else\u2019s <\/em>feelings to get what <em>you <\/em>want from them. This enables your counterpart to feel <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-safety\/\">emotionally safe<\/a> with you\u2014to see you more as a <em>partner <\/em>than an adversary.<strong> <\/strong>Calculated empathy techniques include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Talking slowly and calmly to show that you\u2019re <em>concerned <\/em>about how the other person feels.<\/li><li>Using a light and encouraging voice to put your counterpart at ease.<\/li><li>Identifying, vocalizing, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/negative-labels\/\">labeling<\/a> your counterpart\u2019s emotions<strong> <\/strong>through phrases like, \u201cIt seems like you\u2019re disappointed by what\u2019s being offered.\u201d&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you\u2019ve used these techniques to get your counterpart to see you more as a partner (or even a friend) rather than an adversary, you\u2019ll be able to tap into their <em>real <\/em>desires and fears. And once you\u2019ve unlocked these, you\u2019ll have the upper hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-establish-an-emotional-connection-by-building-trust\">Establish an Emotional Connection by Building Trust<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Similarly, Deepak Malhotra and Max H. Bazerman (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/negotiation-genius\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Negotiation Genius<\/em><\/a>) write that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/negotiation-genius\/1-page-summary#gather-information-about-your-counterpart\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>building trust and establishing an emotional connection with your counterpart is key to a successful negotiation<\/strong><\/a>. They urge you to use vocabulary that your counterpart understands and consider spending time with them outside of the negotiation setting. This will make them more cooperative and open to sharing information with you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Likewise, Roger Fisher and William Ury (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/getting-to-yes\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Getting to Yes<\/em><\/a>) emphasize the need to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/getting-to-yes#key-skills-for-getting-to-yes\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>build a positive relationship and person-to-person connection with the other side<\/strong><\/a>. Before negotiations begin, get to know the people on the other side personally. It\u2019s easier to negotiate with someone you know than with a stranger. Meet informally, learn each others\u2019 likes and dislikes, and take the time to chat when you run into people whom you might have to negotiate with.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-the-rational-approach\">2. <strong>The Rational Approach<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The opposite of the emotional approach to negotiating is the rational approach. Practitioners of this theory write that <strong>facts, evidence, and rational self-interest are what determine successful negotiations\u2014with results based on fair, objective standards<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fisher and Ury (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/getting-to-yes\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Getting to Yes<\/em><\/a>) are major proponents of this approach. As we discussed in the previous section, they acknowledge the value of building emotional comfort and personal rapport with your negotiating counterpart. However, through their method of \u201cprincipled negotiation,\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/getting-to-yes#the-solution-principled-negotiation\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">they highlight the importance of <em>separating<\/em> personalities and emotions from the issue being negotiated<\/a>. According to Fisher and Ury, negotiations can fall apart when emotions get too intertwined with the substance of the discussion. Fundamentally, they write, a successful negotiator focuses on the underlying rational interests of each side, not on emotions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, if you\u2019re negotiating with your spouse about which movie to see and you disagree with their choice, letting your emotions get the better of you might produce a response from you such as, \u201cWe always see what you want to see, and you know I hate action movies. It feels like you don\u2019t actually care about what I want.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because you\u2019ve made this too emotion-based, your spouse may feel attacked or get defensive, which will make it harder to reach a mutually satisfying resolution. A response more rooted in the rational approach might sound something like, \u201cI know we both want to spend quality time together, and we want to spend our money doing something we\u2019ll <em>both <\/em>enjoy. Why don\u2019t we each say what we\u2019d really like to get out of this evening together and come up with a way for us both to be happy by the time we go home?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are the different approaches to negotiation? Which negotiation tactic will help you get what you want? In our daily lives, we negotiate with others for things we want, whether the context is business or personal. Experts have different theories about the best approach to getting what you want out of a negotiation. Continue reading for the two main approaches to negotiation: emotional and rational.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":11987,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,29,34],"tags":[1256],"class_list":["post-112319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-career","category-communication","tag-the-master-guides-negotiation","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The 2 Different Approaches to Negotiation, Explained - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are many ways to negotiate, but only two will make you a winner. Discover more about these different approaches to negotiation.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The 2 Different Approaches to Negotiation, Explained\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"There are many ways to negotiate, but only two will make you a winner. Discover more about these different approaches to negotiation.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-09-04T15:20:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-09-05T16:58:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/how-to-negotiate-challenger-sale-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Katie Doll\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937\"},\"headline\":\"The 2 Different Approaches to Negotiation, Explained\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-04T15:20:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-05T16:58:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\"},\"wordCount\":984,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/how-to-negotiate-challenger-sale-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Master Guides: Negotiation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Business\",\"Career\",\"Communication\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/\",\"name\":\"The 2 Different Approaches to Negotiation, Explained - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/different-approaches-to-negotiation\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/how-to-negotiate-challenger-sale-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-04T15:20:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-05T16:58:40+00:00\",\"description\":\"There are many ways to negotiate, but only two will make you a winner. 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