Do you depend on other people to have a good time? Do you struggle to enjoy your own company?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Extroverts thrive off social interactions and collaboration. But you aren\u2019t going to be around people all the time, so it\u2019s pivotal that you find ways to appreciate your own company.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Discover how to enjoy your own company as an extrovert, and why everyone needs moments of solitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Introverts are typically more comfortable with their own company, whereas extroverts thrive off social interactions. According to Quiet: The Power of Introverts<\/em><\/a> by Susan Cain, the latter doesn\u2019t typically like to be alone and needs a lot of stimulation, mainly from social activities and busy environments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019ve built our society almost entirely around extroversion<\/strong>. In school systems, for example, this is reflected in the way classrooms are organized and taught: Desks are arranged to facilitate group projects and high levels of interaction and activity. Most teachers believe students should be extroverts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the workplace, we\u2019re expected to engage in relentless self-promotion to develop and promote our personal \u201cbrand.\u201d<\/strong> To advance in many careers, extroversion usually is essential. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Introverts, as both children and adults, are constantly pushed to be more outgoing. Parents and teachers urge children to \u201ccome out of their shell\u201d and be more sociable and participate more in class. Adults are chided for being \u201cin their head\u201d too much, or seen as disengaged at work<\/a> when they want to think rather than react off the cuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But this focus on extroversion has downsides. One downside in the business world is a preference for \u201cGroupthink\u201d that prioritizes teamwork above all. It\u2019s based on the erroneous belief that creativity and intellectual achievement come from collaboration. In reality, an exclusive focus on teamwork actually undercuts creativity, which requires solitude and intense concentration (two things associated with introverts).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Groupthink<\/a> is responsible for three work phenomena that hinder creativity:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Digital Minimalism<\/em><\/a> by Cal Newport says that it\u2019s easy to overlook the value of solitude because our culture places a high value on connectivity. While close personal relationships are a critical source of happiness, time with close friends and family must still be balanced with time spent alone with your thoughts. This means having a break from outside input from other people, TV, podcasts, and anything on your phone or computer. Solitude is essential to: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Being alone and being lonely are two completely different concepts. Just because you\u2019re physically alone, doesn\u2019t mean you should feel<\/em> lonely\u2014an emotional state of feeling disconnected from others<\/a>. There are ways to learn how to enjoy your own company when you\u2019re by yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Below are four ways to enjoy your own company and appreciate solitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After Rupi Kaur went through a breakup, she found that waiting for someone to make her feel whole was a futile task, according to her book milk and honey<\/em><\/a>. She realized that the cure to loneliness isn\u2019t finding another person to complete you. It\u2019s embracing that you\u2019re a complete human being without anyone else. <\/strong>If you learn to love<\/a> yourself when you\u2019re alone, the feelings of loneliness won\u2019t feel as crushing. Other people can complement your strengths, but they can\u2019t give you the things you think you lack. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Codependent No More<\/em><\/a> by Melody Beattie supports Kaur\u2019s idea of loving yourself. According to Beattie, being attached to someone else means that all your energy goes into their life, leaving none for yourself. <\/strong>Beattie advises people who are dependent on others to practice self-care<\/em> as a form of self-love. Self-care is living a responsible life by being mindful of your needs, wants, emotions, and responsibilities toward yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Beattie, the most important way to detach and practice self-care<\/a> is to ask yourself, \u201cWhat do I need or want in this moment?\u201d<\/strong> When you know what you need or want, you can work to attain it yourself. Once you realize that you\u2019re capable of attaining your needs and desires by yourself, you\u2019ll love your own company more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n One reason why some people have trouble figuring out how to enjoy their own company is because they haven\u2019t made peace with their past. Something may have happened in the past that prevents you from appreciating alone time, like a codependent relationship that failed. But if you take the time to reflect on how you overcame these struggles on your own, and celebrate your individual accomplishments, then you\u2019ll know how to enjoy your own company. Someday Is Today<\/em><\/a> by Matthew Dicks has advice on how to do both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s easy to get worn down and feel like you need other people to help you when you face barriers or fail to see results from your work. To persist through these challenges, remind yourself of all the hardships you\u2019ve faced in the past and how you overcame them<\/strong>\u2014you\u2019ll develop the pride and motivation needed to be alone. If you struggled and persisted once, you can do it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You should also celebrate your achievements, big and small, to progress toward enjoying alone time. <\/strong>You\u2019ll remember that you\u2019re making progress all on your own, and don\u2019t need other people to feel content. Don\u2019t wait until you\u2019ve reached some lofty level of success\u2014celebrate every small achievement along the way. For example, don\u2019t wait until you\u2019ve won an Emmy Award to celebrate your success<\/a> as an actress\u2014celebrate when you get an agent, complete your first audition, get your first role, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way to learn how to enjoy your own company is to pursue your passions<\/a>, not anyone else\u2019s. It might be hard to figure out what you like to do if you depend on others to plan activities. The Power of Fun<\/em><\/a> by Catherine Price can help you rediscover what your passions are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Price defines passions as activities or hobbies that focus your attention and leave you feeling invigorated. Not everything you love to do is a passion. For example, you may love taking baths, but this is an activity that relaxes you, not one that inspires you; therefore it doesn’t qualify as a passion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Price explains that our passions are often a great jumping-off point for True Fun because they lend themselves to opportunities for playfulness, connection, and flow. Passions are playful because they’re voluntary and pursued for their own sake. They also often lead you to meet new people and make new connections, and they facilitate building skills and knowledge that allow you to experience flow<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you’ve lost touch with what you\u2019re passionate about, Price offers some guiding questions to help you get started:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Price recommends you brainstorm as many ideas as possible and then choose something (anything) to try. Even if it\u2019s not the right fit, you\u2019ll have learned something about yourself in the process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Price cautions that many people avoid pursuing their passions because they’re afraid of looking stupid or being bad at something. She says that if you’re trying something new, you probably will <\/em>be bad at it, but she offers the reassurance that if you stick with it through the awkward beginner phase, you may discover a new passion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because digital tools are ubiquitous and addictive, they have robbed us of invaluable solitude. This may seem like a small loss, but even brief moments of solitude are critical for your mental and emotional well-being<\/a>, says Cal Newport in Digital Minimalism<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Digital tools today are more ubiquitous than any of their technological predecessors. Whereas previous technologies could interrupt solitude intermittently, the iPod and iPhone were the first innovations that could continuously distract people from their thoughts, even in brief moments and inconvenient locations. As a result, people now face the real threat of solitude deprivation, meaning that they have virtually no time with their own thoughts. <\/strong>Solitude deprivation impedes your ability to think creatively, deliberate on problems, get to know yourself, and foster strong relationships\u2014in other words, it brings down your quality of life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s difficult to disconnect in a hyper-connected world, but there are some simple strategies you can use to learn how to enjoy your own company. <\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Importance of Solitude<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How to Enjoy Being Alone<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
1. Practice Self-Love<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
2. Celebrate Achievements and Be Proud of Yourself <\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
3. Pursue Your Passions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. Reduce Technology Use<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Strategies for Reclaiming Solitude<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Wrapping Up<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n