{"id":110494,"date":"2023-08-14T11:20:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T15:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=110494"},"modified":"2023-08-17T14:14:14","modified_gmt":"2023-08-17T18:14:14","slug":"amy-cuddy-body-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/amy-cuddy-body-language\/","title":{"rendered":"Amy Cuddy: Body Language That Exudes Friendliness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What should you take away from Amy Cuddy&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a> advice? What type of body language should you avoid using in stressful situations?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In her book <em>Presence<\/em>, Amy Cuddy recommends avoiding overtly powerful body language while interacting with others. Instead, you should adopt subtle and friendly body language that makes everyone comfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Discover more about body language that you should use in social situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-adopt-open-and-friendly-body-language\"><strong>Adopt Open and Friendly Body Language<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In stressful situations, Amy Cuddy&#8217;s body language advice is to <strong>adopt open and friendly body language that communicates your self-assuredness without making people feel uncomfortable or defensive<\/strong>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Some elements of body language can also be interpreted differently depending on the context, making it important to \u201cread the room,\u201d so to speak. For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterhelp.com\/advice\/body-language\/22-body-language-examples-and-what-they-show\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">standing with your hands on your hips<\/a> could be interpreted as aggressive in one scenario, or it could be perceived as a sign that you\u2019re enthusiastic and ready to go.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that people perceive friendliness and trustworthiness before they assess your competence, so the right body language is more important for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-a-good-first-impression\/\">making a good first impression<\/a> than showing how knowledgeable or talented you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To demonstrate open and friendly body language, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stand-up-straight-with-your-shoulders-back-jordan-peterson-rule-1\/\">stand up straight<\/a> with your head up and shoulders back and relax your muscles. Cuddy also recommends making slow, deliberate movements when communicating. For example, if you\u2019re on a stage, walk around slowly and use the whole space (which is also more dynamic and interesting for the audience to watch). Take your time and pause both your movements and speech when it feels right. Smiling when appropriate will make you feel better and also communicate kindness toward the other people present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Importance of Nailing a First Impression<\/strong><br><br>Similar to Cuddy, many authors emphasize the importance of a positive first impression. For example, in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/how-to-talk-to-anyone\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>How to Talk to Anyone<\/em><\/a>, communication expert Leil Lowndes asserts that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/how-to-talk-to-anyone\/1-page-summary#your-body-language-communicates-everything-about-you\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">people rely on body language to instinctively form an opinion on someone before they even begin speaking<\/a>. In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/how-highly-effective-people-speak\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>How Highly Effective People Speak<\/em><\/a>, public speaker Peter D. Andrei adds that people\u2019s initial impression of you will influence their <em>long-term<\/em> perception of you because of a bias known as the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/how-highly-effective-people-speak#the-halo-effect\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">halo effect<\/a>: the tendency of people to generalize their opinion of someone based on one observed quality.<br><br>To optimize a first impression, Lowndes and body language experts Allan and Barbara Pease (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-definitive-book-of-body-language\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Definitive Book of Body Language<\/em><\/a>) recommend additional <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-master-guides-small-talk-with-ease#distinguish-between-open-and-closed-body-language-cues\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">open body language cues<\/a> such as raising your eyebrows slightly to show that you\u2019re happy to engage in conversation, keeping your arms loosely at your sides with your wrists and palms upward, and turning your body completely toward your listener.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-body-language-to-avoid\">Body Language to Avoid<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition to these tips, Cuddy provides some body language to <em>avoid<\/em>, including excessive eye contact, very strong handshakes, and exaggerated, rapid, or loud movements. If you\u2019re seated, remember not to splay your limbs all over the place like you would if you were power-posing before the event. Research shows that these behaviors tend to make people resent you because they\u2019ll think you\u2019re either trying to exert control over them or are being manipulative to get the results you want.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: It\u2019s also important to note that while this advice is based on American culture, <a href=\"https:\/\/iimn.org\/publication\/finding-common-ground\/culture-at-work\/body-language-personal-space\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">people\u2019s preferences for body language vary widely by culture<\/a>, so it may be necessary to account for other factors when modeling appropriate body language. For example, one source asserts that people from Asian cultures prefer more personal space than Americans, while people from Latin and Middle Eastern cultures require less personal space. Body language cues such as eye contact and handshakes may also vary depending on the relationship or gender of the people involved and can differ based on an individual\u2019s personality.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cuddy writes that people tend to notice when your apparent stress and nervousness don\u2019t match your body language\u2014a phenomenon called \u201casynchrony\u201d\u2014which also makes you seem insincere and untrustworthy.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Here, Cuddy suggests that if you use overly confident or aggressive body language to compensate for your nervousness, people will pick up on the fact that it\u2019s not genuine or perceive it as <a href=\"https:\/\/blog.peoplefirstps.com\/connect2lead\/confidence-vs-pseudo-confidence#:~:text=Rather%20than%20appealing%20to%20others%2C%20the%20pseudo-confident%20person,in%20them%20before%20they%20see%20it%20in%20themselves.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u201cpseudo-confidence\u201d<\/a>. However, she doesn\u2019t explain why people wouldn\u2019t register asynchrony when you\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-feeling-nervous\/\">feeling nervous<\/a> and you use some of the relaxed and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/approachable-body-language\/\">open body language<\/a> cues that we described earlier in the section. This may be why it\u2019s important to boost your confidence with power poses <em>before <\/em>the activity so that relaxed posture comes more naturally.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other end of the spectrum, tense and closed-off body language (what Cuddy refers to as \u201cpowerless posture\u201d) to avoid includes folding your arms and legs inward, tightening your throat muscles (which raises the pitch of your voice), speaking too fast, and keeping your upper arms glued to your sides while only your lower arms move (Cuddy calls this \u201cpenguin arms\u201d). These behaviors betray nervousness, which may make people skeptical of what you\u2019re communicating. In other words, if you don\u2019t have confidence in what you\u2019re saying, neither will other people.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In a sales context, some experts recommend using <em>other people\u2019s<\/em> closed-off body language as a signal that a prospective buyer is feeling skeptical or unreceptive to what you\u2019re saying. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-psychology-of-selling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Psychology of Selling<\/em><\/a>, Brian Tracy writes that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-psychology-of-selling\/chapter-4#draw-your-prospect-out\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">if a prospective customer is crossing their arms, for example, they may be feeling closed-minded<\/a>. He also says that you can subtly nudge their mood by giving them something to hold or giving them an activity that will force them to uncross their arms.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What should you take away from Amy Cuddy&#8217;s body language advice? What type of body language should you avoid using in stressful situations? In her book Presence, Amy Cuddy recommends avoiding overtly powerful body language while interacting with others. Instead, you should adopt subtle and friendly body language that makes everyone comfortable. Discover more about body language that you should use in social situations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":110869,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9,43],"tags":[1126],"class_list":["post-110494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-presence","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Amy Cuddy: Body Language That Exudes Friendliness - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Social situations can be nerve-wracking. Check out Amy Cuddy&#039;s advice for what body language to use and what to avoid. 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