{"id":110470,"date":"2023-08-14T12:57:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T16:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=110470"},"modified":"2023-08-18T14:52:02","modified_gmt":"2023-08-18T18:52:02","slug":"relationships-and-well-being","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/relationships-and-well-being\/","title":{"rendered":"The Connection Between Relationships and Well-Being"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you want healthier relationships? What&#8217;s the connection between positive relationships and well-being?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Humans are naturally social creatures, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-connect-with-people\/\">connecting with others<\/a> makes our lives better. You can <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-your-well-being\/\">improve your well-being<\/a> by learning to build stronger, more positive relationships in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Check out how positive relationships affect your well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-foster-positive-relationships\"><strong>Foster Positive Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Flourish<\/em> by Martin E. P. Seligman says that positive relationships and well-being go hand-in-hand. He recommends three ways to build better relationships in your life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. Learn to celebrate others better. <\/strong>Strengthen your relationship by improving how you respond to someone\u2019s good fortune or news. He cites the research of Shelly Gable, who explains four main ways people respond to other people\u2019s good news:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Active and constructive<\/strong>: You engage with and build upon their joy\u2014for example, \u201cI\u2019m so happy for you! How did it make you feel? How do you plan to celebrate?\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Passive and constructive<\/strong>: You give positive feedback but without engaging\u2014for example, \u201cThat\u2019s good to hear.\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Active and destructive<\/strong>: You engage but focus on the negatives\u2014for example, \u201cBut doesn\u2019t that mean you\u2019ll have even more work to do?\u201d<\/li><li><strong>Passive and destructive<\/strong>: You don\u2019t acknowledge their news at all\u2014for example, \u201cI had a pretty tiring day at work.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>To build flourishing relationships, use the active and constructive communication style: When someone shares something positive that happened to them, validate their joy and ask questions that encourage them to talk more about the situation. By responding this way, you maximize the happiness they feel and learn more about them, which makes you feel more connected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Why Celebrating Better Improves Relationships<\/strong><br><br>Researchers explain that celebrating others well <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sas.rochester.edu\/psy\/people\/faculty\/reis_harry\/assets\/pdf\/Reisetal.JPSP_2010.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">amplifies the happiness they feel<\/a> about the good things in their lives and thus leads to higher-quality relationships with them. People like to share their good events with others so they can feel even happier and more satisfied with the event\u2014a process known as <em>capitalization<\/em>. When you respond enthusiastically when others share good news, you foster a closer and more trusting relationship.<br><br>But capitalization doesn\u2019t work well if the person we share our good news with <em>doesn\u2019t <\/em>respond positively. A passive or destructive response might signal to the other person that you\u2019re envious of them, which puts distance in your relationship. An active constructive response, on the other hand, signals a lack of jealousy and has many benefits for both the person who shares their good news and the person who responds: It can strengthen the relationship, increase trust and intimacy, and reduce conflict.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. Use more positive statements. <\/strong>Seligman suggests you pay attention to how often you use positive and negative statements in your relationships, as this predicts the strength of our relationships. He cites research showing that a good relationship requires a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative statements\u2014that is, at least three compliments, encouragements, or appreciations for every criticism or complaint. To <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-your-relationships-2\/\">improve your relationships<\/a>, focus on saying more positive than negative things to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: We need a higher ratio of positive to negative statements to have good relationships because of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/articles\/200306\/our-brains-negative-bias\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">negativity bias<\/a>. Psychologists explain that humans have evolved to be more sensitive to negative things\u2014you pay attention to them and remember them more than positive things. Because of this, we need more positivity to offset the negativity. If you struggle with remembering to be more positive, in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-project\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Happiness Project<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Gretchen Rubin suggests creating a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-project\/month-11#search-for-the-positive\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">visual reminder<\/a>, such as wearing a piece of jewelry or putting up a sticky note.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. Perform random acts of kindness.<\/strong> Seligman writes that doing something kind for others can significantly improve your mood and well-being. It can also help you feel connected with others, which researchers argue can actually make you live longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Researchers have found <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ssmhealth.com\/blogs\/ssm-health-matters\/november-2022\/the-science-behind-kindness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">many health benefits<\/a> to thinking about, doing, or even witnessing kind acts. Performing a kind act triggers your brain to release different neurochemicals, including oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. Oxytocin promotes a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sense-of-connectedness\/\">sense of connection<\/a> and helps you live longer by reducing your blood pressure and inflammation, which reduces your risk for diseases like diabetes and cancer. Serotonin and dopamine activate the pleasure centers in your brain and make you feel satisfied. Your brain might also release endorphins, which serve as painkillers.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want healthier relationships? What&#8217;s the connection between positive relationships and well-being? Humans are naturally social creatures, and connecting with others makes our lives better. You can improve your well-being by learning to build stronger, more positive relationships in your life. Check out how positive relationships affect your well-being.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":108116,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12,43],"tags":[1125],"class_list":["post-110470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-flourish","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Connection Between Relationships and Well-Being - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Humans thrive off social interactions. 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