{"id":110407,"date":"2023-08-14T13:20:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-14T17:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=110407"},"modified":"2023-08-15T13:21:51","modified_gmt":"2023-08-15T17:21:51","slug":"brene-brown-empathy-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"17 Bren\u00e9 Brown Empathy Quotes (+ Context &#038; Explanation)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What\u2019s the difference between empathy and sympathy? How can we use empathy as a weapon to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-overcome-shame\/\">combat shame<\/a> in ourselves and others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Researcher and author Bren\u00e9 Brown studies and writes quite a bit about empathy. We\u2019ve collected excerpts from several of her books to give you a quick but comprehensive look at what she says about the meaning and nature of empathy, the connection between empathy and shame, and empathy as a practice and skill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading for 17 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-on-empathy\/\">Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy<\/a> quotes that will give you a glimpse into her insights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-brene-brown-empathy-quotes\">Bren\u00e9 Brown Empathy Quotes<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone talks about empathy these days, but it\u2019s not always well understood, much less practiced. These Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes from several of her books will help you grasp the concept and start putting it into practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-meaning-and-nature-of-empathy\">The Meaning and Nature of Empathy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cI define empathy as the skill or ability to tap into our own experiences in order to connect with an experience someone is relating to us.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/i-thought-it-was-just-me-but-it-isnt\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">I Thought It Was Just Me<\/a><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cEmpathy is not connecting to an experience; it\u2019s connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/dare-to-lead\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Dare to Lead<\/a><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cWe need to dispel the myth that empathy is \u2018walking in someone else\u2019s shoes.\u2019 Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-listen-crucial-conversations\/\">how to listen<\/a> to the story you tell about what it\u2019s like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn\u2019t match my experiences.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/atlas-of-the-heart\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Atlas of the Heart<\/a><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cThe difference between empathy and sympathy: feeling with and feeling for. The empathic response: I get it, I feel with you, and I\u2019ve been there. The sympathetic response: I feel sorry for you.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dare-to-lead-book\/\">Dare to Lead<\/a><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cIf we believe empathy is finite, like pizza, and practicing empathy with someone leaves fewer slices for others, then perhaps comparing levels of suffering would be necessary. Luckily, however, empathy is infinite and renewable. The more you give, the more we all have.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cEmpathy heals another at exactly the same time it is healing me.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown says that <em>empathy<\/em> is the ability to understand and echo what someone else feels. However, as you can see from these Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes, it doesn\u2019t mean imagining yourself in someone else\u2019s place, or \u201cwalking a mile in his shoes,\u201d as the old saying goes\u2014trying to do so will cause you to bring your own biases and experiences to the situation. Rather, it means that you understand and accept the other person\u2019s feelings, even if they might not be the same feelings you\u2019d have in his place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown says that <em>sympathy <\/em>is the near enemy of empathy: It looks the same, but there\u2019s no <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sense-of-connectedness\/\">sense of connection<\/a>. Just the opposite, in fact\u2014sympathy draws a clear line between the person suffering and ourselves. In other words, sympathy is feeling bad for someone, but being unable (or unwilling) to relate to that person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important to note that Brown\u2019s definition of empathy departs slightly from the definition commonly used by psychologists. <a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/topic\/empathy\/definition\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Experts consider empathy as having two forms: affective and cognitive<\/a>. Affective empathy is experiencing the feelings and emotions of another person. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cognitive-empathy-vs-emotional-empathy\/\">Cognitive empathy<\/a> is taking another person\u2019s perspective to identify and understand their emotions. While psychologists see affective and cognitive abilities as two separate forms of empathy, Brown asserts that both abilities are required to practice \u201cempathy.\u201d She also argues that empathy requires you to practice these abilities without<em> judgment<\/em>, a component not included in many definitions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-empathy-and-shame\">Empathy and Shame<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cThe antidote to shame is empathy. If we reach out and share our shame experience with someone who responds with empathy, shame dissipates.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Atlas of the Heart<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cIf you put shame in a petri dish and cover it with judgment, silence, and secrecy, you\u2019ve created the perfect environment for shame to grow until it makes its way into every corner and crevice of your life. If, on the other hand, you put shame in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, shame loses its power and begins to wither. Empathy creates a hostile environment for shame\u2014an environment it can\u2019t survive in, because shame needs you to believe you\u2019re alone and it\u2019s just you.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cShame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience. The only people who don\u2019t experience shame are those who lack the capacity for empathy and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-human-connection\/\">human connection<\/a>.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cShame is not a compass for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/psychology-morality\/\">moral behavior<\/a>. It\u2019s much more likely to drive destructive, hurtful, immoral, and self-aggrandizing behavior than it is to heal it. Why? Because, where shame exists, empathy is almost always absent. That\u2019s what makes shame dangerous. The opposite of experiencing shame is experiencing empathy.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cWhen we are honest about our struggles, we are much less likely to get stuck in shame. This is critical because shame diminishes our capacity to practice empathy.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>These Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes indicate that empathy is the solution to shame. She explains that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/empathy-and-relationships\/201611\/not-all-empathy-is-the-same#:~:text=Empathy%20reduces%20shame%2C%20whereas%20sympathy,is%20the%20antidote%20to%20shame.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">practicing empathy\u2014in other words, <em>connecting<\/em> with someone\u2014proves that they are worthy of connection<\/a> and thus reduces their shame, or their feeling that they\u2019re <em>not<\/em> worthy of connection. While we can\u2019t entirely avoid experiences of shame, Brown says that strengthening our ability to empathize with both ourselves and others makes us less reactive to shame and combats the feelings of <em>fear<\/em>, <em>blame<\/em>, and <em>disconnection<\/em> that shame causes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown says there are three components of empathy that combat the products of shame: courage, compassion, and connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She defines <em>courage <\/em>(what she calls \u201cordinary courage\u201d) as the ability to be your genuine self and confidently share that identity with the world. <em>Courage<\/em> is important because it combats <em>fear.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown defines <em>compassion<\/em> as the ability and willingness to empathize without judgment and face pain. <em>Compassion<\/em> means looking at your own actions with understanding rather than anger and doing the same for others. It requires you to reflect on your pain and empathize with others by sharing the pain that they feel. <em>Compassion<\/em> is crucial to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/feeling-ashamed\/\">overcoming shame<\/a> because it combats <em>blame.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown defines <em>connection<\/em> as the ability to share experiences and establish systems of mutual support with others. Practicing <em>connection<\/em> both requires and strengthens the elements of <em>courage<\/em> and <em>compassion<\/em>\u2014to fully practice connection, you must be able to share your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-your-true-self\/\">true self<\/a> with others (<em>courage<\/em>), provide others with support and understanding without judgment (<em>compassion<\/em>), and request that they do the same for you. <em>Connection <\/em>is crucial to overcoming shame because it combats <em>disconnection<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-empathy-as-a-practice-skill\">Empathy as a Practice &amp; Skill<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cEmpathy is a skill. Here\u2019s the amazing news: With some skill-building, we can all learn <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice\/\">how to practice<\/a> empathy. That\u2019s a huge gift.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cEmpathy is best understood as a skill because being empathic, or having the capacity to show empathy, is not a quality that is innate or intuitive.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/daring-greatly\/preview\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Daring Greatly<\/a><\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cThe trickiest barrier to empathy? Take a look in the mirror. Being kind and extending the hypothesis of generosity to ourselves when we mess up is the first step. Resisting the urge to punish or shame ourselves when we make mistakes is true mastery.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cWe cannot practice empathy if we need to be knowers; if we can&#8217;t be learners, we cannot be empathetic.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Dare to Lead<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cEmpathy can be conveyed without speaking a word\u2014it just takes looking into someone\u2019s eyes and seeing yourself reflected back in an engaged way.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>Daring Greatly<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p><em>\u201cReal empathy takes more than words\u2014it takes work. Empathy is not simply knowing the right thing to say to someone who is experiencing shame. Our words are only as effective as our ability to be genuinely present and engaged with someone as she tells her story.\u201d<\/em><\/p><cite><em>I Thought It Was Just Me<\/em><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>These Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes serve as both an encouragement (you <em>can<\/em> develop the skill of empathy) and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-call-to-action\/\">a call to action<\/a> (you <em>should<\/em> build the skill and put it into practice). To start combating shame and building empathy, Brown recommends that you integrate three main practices into your daily life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>First, recognize when you\u2019re experiencing shame and what\u2019s causing it. <\/strong>Acknowledging your shame will enable you to practice the three components of empathy: <em>courage,<\/em> <em>compassion<\/em>, and <em>connection<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are two parts to this practice. The first is to identify how shame feels. The second is to identify the identities and situations that cause that shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Second, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/understanding-shame\/\">understand shame<\/a> with <\/strong><strong><em>critical awareness<\/em><\/strong><strong>. <\/strong>Brown defines critical awareness (as it relates to shame) as an understanding of why we deem certain identities as shameful, how shame around these identities impacts society, who\u2019s most affected by the shame of identities, and who benefits the most from them. Critical awareness makes you realize that most disdained identities are unfairly demonized and stem from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/impossible-expectations\/\">unrealistic expectations<\/a> that harm one group of people to benefit another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To develop critical awareness about shame, think of an identity that makes you feel ashamed. Then, think of the ideal you feel like you&#8217;re supposed to be living up to instead, and consider its impact on society at large.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Third, learn how to talk about shame and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-relationships-how-to-be-present\/\">connect with others<\/a>. <\/strong>We connect with others by sharing experiences and establishing mutual support. This is crucial to combating shame because it facilitates the empathy element of <em>connection, <\/em>which helps you put the other elements\u2014<em>courage <\/em>and <em>compassion\u2014<\/em>into action. Once you learn how to express your own shame and ask for support, you\u2019ll be better equipped to listen to others and provide <em>them<\/em> with support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To constructively talk about shame, explain the identity that\u2019s causing your fear, how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way, and what kind of support you need instead. Once you\u2019re able to effectively express your experiences of shame to others and ask for their support, Brown says that you can use these abilities to support others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To support others, be willing to listen to their experiences and pain. When they share their story with you, you can laugh, cry, and feel their emotions with them by tapping into your own experiences. You can share your story with them and let them know that they\u2019re not alone in their pain. You can reassure them that they aren\u2019t defective and provide them with a critical perspective on shame to help them <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-look-at-the-bigger-picture\/\">see the bigger picture<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-wrapping-up\"><strong>Wrapping Up<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We hope you\u2019ve been both enlightened and encouraged by these Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes. The universal experience of shame has a cure in empathy, and empathy is a skill that you can develop and practice to banish shame and help others do the same.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What\u2019s the difference between empathy and sympathy? How can we use empathy as a weapon to combat shame in ourselves and others? Researcher and author Bren\u00e9 Brown studies and writes quite a bit about empathy. We\u2019ve collected excerpts from several of her books to give you a quick but comprehensive look at what she says about the meaning and nature of empathy, the connection between empathy and shame, and empathy as a practice and skill. Continue reading for 17 Bren\u00e9 Brown empathy quotes that will give you a glimpse into her insights.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":86268,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9,43],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-110407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>17 Bren\u00e9 Brown Empathy Quotes (+ Context &amp; Explanation) - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We collected quotes from several Bren\u00e9 Brown books to give you a quick but comprehensive look at what she says about empathy. 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