Are you tired of wasting your potential? Do you want to be a successful woman in life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many women feel like they have to work hard to prove themselves and their worth. What you might not realize is that you determine your own success\u2014you just have to stop making excuses<\/a>, be unapologetic, and start living the life you deserve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here’s some advice from some inspirational and powerful women about how to be a successful woman in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Before you can acquire the behaviors and skills to help you learn how to be a successful woman in life, you must first develop the right mindset. <\/strong>To Rachel Hollis, this means letting go of excuses and embracing a mentality of positivity and perseverance, as she wrote in her book Girl, Stop Apologizing<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Excuses are a tool of self-sabotage. <\/strong>Hollis explains that excuses are paralyzing beliefs that serve no valuable purpose and stop you from even trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis goes through the most common excuses that she hears (and once believed herself) for why you can\u2019t live your dream. She takes each excuse and strips it of its power, reveals the truth beneath, and provides you with strategies to conquer it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Hollis, society expects women to care for everyone else,<\/strong> and the phrase \u201ca good woman\u201d is typically synonymous with \u201ca good wife and mother.\u201d<\/strong> Hollis goes on to say that because society expects women to run the household, they are often looked down upon for having career ambitions.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis argues that women must shed this excuse because when you\u2019re being true to yourself, you\u2019re better able to care for those you love. <\/strong>When you\u2019re fulfilled, you\u2019ll be better in all of your relationships. Hollis says that the only way to live a full and happy life is to be open and honest about your dreams, goals, and desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis says the next excuse you\u2019re likely to tell yourself is that your dream is too lofty, and you\u2019re not good enough at (fill in the blank) to accomplish it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis says that believing you\u2019re not capable is an excuse because the truth is, everybody struggles at the start of something new and challenging. <\/strong>She believes that it\u2019s not important to be naturally good<\/strong> at whatever you\u2019re doing. Rather, you must have the willingness to be <\/strong>bad<\/em><\/strong> at it for a long time<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Of all the excuses Hollis highlights, she says the most common one she hears is \u201cI don\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis puts forth a simple truth: You won\u2019t find more time<\/strong>. Instead, Hollis says you need to make time<\/strong> by redesignating what fills your hours.<\/strong> She stresses that you can replace any activity with a different activity; the choice is entirely yours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis recommends you start by \u201cmaking\u201d five hours available each week to work on your goal by reducing or eliminating other activities. <\/strong>Be intentional about how you schedule your time<\/a>, and prioritize the parts of your life that are most important to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You have stopped caring what other people think<\/a> of your dream, but now you worry that the other areas of your life will suffer<\/strong>. Hollis insists that this fear that you can\u2019t have it all is an excuse that will hold you back. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people aim for balance in life but Hollis believes you should instead strive to be \u201ccentered,\u201d which means to feel content and at peace with all areas of your life.<\/strong> Hollis believes that the easiest way to achieve contentment and relieve yourself of guilt is to intentionally prioritize the important moments. <\/strong>Rather than focusing on the number of hours you spend on family, friends, work, and so on, Hollis advises you to be intentional about when<\/em> you focus on each. Go for quality over quantity<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The Confidence Code<\/em><\/a> by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman found evidence that women have less confidence than men, and women tend to underestimate their abilities. <\/strong>Men tend to overestimate their abilities:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Psychologists believe that 50% of confidence might come from choice and will. The confidence code\u2014the building blocks of confidence\u2014consists of three principles: <\/p>\n\n\n\n Practice adhering to the code to learn how to be a successful woman in life by using the following techniques:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #1: Fail fast.<\/strong> Failing fast is a business strategy that involves trying lots of ideas, expecting <\/em>that most of them will fail. This is useful as a confidence-building strategy because it inherently involves the same cycle of repeated attempts, failure, and risk-taking necessary for building confidence. Additionally, it combats perfectionism and inhibits overthinking because the cycles are so fast there\u2019s simply no time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #2: Act, even when you\u2019re uncertain.<\/strong> If you stay inactive in your comfort zone, you won\u2019t improve or gain confidence. If you act, the worst thing that will happen is that you fail. You don\u2019t have to take massive action\u2014it\u2019s fine to start this strategy with baby steps. For example, if you\u2019re not confident about attending parties solo, first, go to a small event where you know people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #3: Think differently using thought exercises.<\/strong> For example, to control ruminating, whenever you find yourself doing it, think of three things you\u2019ve done well that day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #4: Change your focus. <\/strong>Women tend to be more confident when they focus on others instead of themselves. Therefore, you can spur yourself to act by thinking about how taking action will benefit others. For example, if you\u2019re nervous about public speaking<\/a>, tell yourself you\u2019re speaking on behalf of people or a group you care about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #5: Take credit.<\/strong> When you achieve something, don\u2019t downplay it, attribute it to luck, or be self-deprecating. You deserve your achievements, so take credit for them. If you have trouble taking a compliment, say thank you and tell the person you appreciate them saying it. In moments when you lack confidence, remember these achievements\u2014you\u2019ll become more confident when you remember there\u2019s proof you\u2019ve been successful in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #6: Don\u2019t take things personally<\/a>. <\/strong>When someone criticizes you at work, remember that this criticism is directed at your work<\/em>, not you. Also, recognize that women face some obstacles men don\u2019t and this makes things harder for us. We\u2019re not incompetent or less capable; our lives are harder and we don\u2019t have access to the same resources. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #7: Become more comfortable speaking up. <\/strong>You can improve your confidence and speaking abilities by using whatever speaking style is most comfortable, focusing on others<\/a>, and avoiding upspeak (when the pitch of your voice rises at the end of a sentence, making it sound like you\u2019re asking a question and are uncertain).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #8: Do things differently if necessary. <\/strong>You don\u2019t need to copy men or other people to be confident. If you have a new, more effective way of doing something, pursue it, even if you face criticism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Technique #9: Don\u2019t rely on external sources of confidence.<\/strong> There\u2019s nothing wrong with comparing yourself to others<\/a> and enjoying external validation<\/a>, but it\u2019s dangerous to rely <\/em>on this as a source of confidence. You\u2019re less likely to act if you fear the action will make people stop praising you, and you\u2019ll be crushed when you don\u2019t get enough praise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To be a successful woman in life, you must also be open to receiving<\/a> help from people so you can focus on your career. You should remind yourself that you\u2019re not weak to ask for help. In fact, you\u2019ll learn more from other women who have been in your position than you will from being on this journey by yourself. <\/strong>We\u2019ll explore Rachel Rodgers\u2019s advice on how to seek help from her book We Should All Be Millionaires<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rodgers suggests that if you\u2019re very focused on advancing your career<\/a>, you should hire people to do household or administrative tasks that you don\u2019t have time to do. <\/strong>She recommends you outsource anything that drains your energy, that you hate doing, or that you find difficult to do. For example, if you have a messy household and spend a lot of time cleaning, consider hiring a cleaning service. Rodgers advises you to start by hiring a personal assistant who can handle a variety of tasks, like sorting through your emails, doing errands, and managing your schedule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might be reluctant to spend money when you\u2019re trying to grow your wealth, but Rodgers argues that you can build your skills and career with more focus and energy and spend more time generating income this way. Further, when you learn to delegate, you can lower your stress and free up time to do what you want, which can improve your health and happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019ve delegated tedious tasks<\/a>, Rodgers proposes another way to be a successful woman in life: Build a network of successful women who can support you and your financial goals<\/a>. <\/strong>A close cohort of women can provide you with gender-specific support, a sense of belonging<\/a>, and more opportunities. Rodgers explains that the majority of highly-successful women have a close group of women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Rodgers offers tips on how to cultivate a small, close network of women:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #1:<\/strong> Join new communities. You don\u2019t have to limit yourself to professional groups. Rodgers recommends you simply find a community that shares your beliefs, values, and interests and focus on building sincere relationships with other women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #2:<\/strong> Reach out to friends and colleagues you\u2019ve lost touch with. One way to reconnect is to do something for them. For example, you could reach out and tell them that you voted on their entry in a photography contest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Tip #3: <\/strong>If you can\u2019t find the community you\u2019re looking for, Rodgers suggests you create your own group based on your interests.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Lean In<\/em><\/a> by Sheryl Sandberg, the self-doubt<\/a> women carry is called \u201cimpostor syndrome.\u201d<\/strong> They feel like impostors inside as if at any moment they\u2019ll be revealed as frauds. When praised, they feel undeserving and guilty, like a mistake has been made.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite her qualifications, even Sandberg has been affected by impostor syndrome. She arrived at Harvard unprepared for its academic rigor and soon felt lost, not as smart as everyone else\u2014a fraud. Through hard work, she excelled, but she could never shake this nagging self-doubt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Women are more likely than men to be affected and limited by impostor syndrome, often judging their performance as worse than it really is. In contrast, men tend to judge their performance as better than it is. Data supports this:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s hard to shake impostor syndrome<\/a>, but knowing this feeling is a distortion of reality can help you be a successful woman in life<\/strong>. Sandberg advises women to make an emotional and intellectual adjustment when interpreting successes and failures. For example, when feeling headed for failure, Sandberg learned to remind herself of past successes<\/strong>, thus challenging her natural instinct and undistorting the distortion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lack of confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy and it’s important to fight it. One tactic is to fake it. Research backs up the \u201cfake it til you make it\u201d strategy. Even a change in posture can boost testosterone and lower stress hormones, making you feel more in charge. The most important opportunities are seized, not offered, and being confident (or faking it) allows you to go for it. Confidence allows you to create<\/em> opportunities for yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fantasy and imagination can be instrumental in being a successful woman in life, as Rachel Hollis learned from her own experiences. In her book Girl, Wash Your Face<\/em><\/a>, she says that when she first moved to Los Angeles, her admittedly ridiculous goal was meeting and marrying the actor Matt Damon. Though this was an unlikely scenario, her belief got her to Los Angeles and led her to landing a great job, which led to her event planning career and her future husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With no clear direction, she just made one up. Once she had a direction, she was able to get moving and make progress in her life. When she gave up on marrying Matt Damon, she began obsessing about an expensive Louis Vuitton handbag. She imagined it in great detail and vowed to buy it after her first $10,000 check. Through years of hard work and progress in her career, she kept her eyes on the prize\u2014and achieved it. Her purse represented more than just a purse; it was the culmination of an enormous amount of hard work, career progress, and success. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The author attributes her ability to imagine her dreams in intricate detail as a big factor in becoming a successful woman in life. Big goals, such as \u201ccareer success,\u201d can feel overwhelming, vague, and challenging, but if you break a big dream<\/a> down into bite-sized goals<\/strong>, as she did with her purse, it feels achievable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When setting a goal, spend time focusing on intricate detail<\/strong>. What does it look like? How does it feel? Visualizing this level of detail makes the goal feel real. It will be different for everyone; it\u2019s about finding the motivation you<\/em> need to make a move in your life. Whether or not that exact dream comes true isn\u2019t the point: what is important is having a clear direction. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Life gets hard and many things can get in the way of your goal, but with a clear vision, you have something to focus on. Your big goals can keep you going when you\u2019re tired and discouraged, and when they are imagined in crystal clear detail, it\u2019s easier to hold onto them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Try these three imagination tools to stay focused on your goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can be discouraging to think about how much easier your life would be if you were a man. But just think about all the women who came before you\u2014they also had these same struggles in the workplace, at school, and home. Yet so many became successful women in life because of their drive and determination, and you can too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What are other ways to learn how to be a successful woman in life? Let us know in the comments below!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Are you tired of wasting your potential? Do you want to be a successful woman in life? Many women feel like they have to work hard to prove themselves and their worth. What you might not realize is that you determine your own success\u2014you just have to stop making excuses, be unapologetic, and start living the life you deserve. Here’s some advice from some inspirational and powerful women about how to be a successful woman in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":82143,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,7,30],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-109792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career","category-lifestyle","category-work","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nStop Making Excuses<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Excuse: Good Women Shouldn\u2019t Focus on Themselves<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Excuse: I\u2019m Not Capable<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Excuse: I Have No Free Time<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Excuse: I Can\u2019t Have It All<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Build Your Confidence<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Be Open to Help From Other Women<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Recruit Help and Delegate Tasks<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Build a Close Network of Successful Women<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Get Rid of Impostor Syndrome<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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Be Unapologetic About Your Dreams<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Visualize Your Goals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Tips on Using Imagination to Move Your Goal Forward<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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Final Words<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n