{"id":108538,"date":"2023-07-16T11:31:00","date_gmt":"2023-07-16T15:31:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=108538"},"modified":"2025-09-15T11:10:02","modified_gmt":"2025-09-15T15:10:02","slug":"how-to-heal-adhd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-heal-adhd\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Heal ADHD Without Medication (Adults & Children)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Can you heal ADHD? Why can’t medication treat ADHD<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since ADHD results from the underdevelopment of your brain and psyche, Scattered Minds<\/em> by Gabor Mat\u00e9 theorizes that you can heal your ADHD by leveraging blain plasticity to your advantage. This is your brain’s ongoing reactivity to environmental stimuli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are Mat\u00e9’s tips for how to heal ADHD in yourself and in your children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of Shortform’s guide on ADHD<\/a>.\u00a0If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9\u2019s Theory of Healing<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 says that doctors tend to treat ADHD like it\u2019s a purely medical problem by prescribing medication\u2014and nothing else\u2014for it. He believes that this approach is fundamentally unsuitable and calls for a more holistic plan for understanding how to heal ADHD. Let\u2019s dig more deeply into his theory of healing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Medication Can Help, But It Won\u2019t Heal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 argues that while ADHD medication<\/a> <\/strong>can <\/em><\/strong>reduce or help you cope with your symptoms, it won\u2019t <\/strong>heal<\/em><\/strong> your ADHD. <\/strong>That\u2019s because the source of your ADHD symptoms isn\u2019t simply <\/em>a chemical imbalance. ADHD does have a chemical component\u2014your brain doesn\u2019t transmit dopamine (a neurotransmitter associated with the regulation of attention, impulse, and stillness) in the typical way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But according to Mat\u00e9, the chemical component of ADHD has deeper roots\u2014you can\u2019t transmit dopamine appropriately because you lack the appropriate neurostructure and positive life experiences that are required for typical dopamine transmission. Since ADHD medication can\u2019t address those root causes, he says, it\u2019s not possible to heal your ADHD with medication alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He also notes that ADHD medication isn\u2019t appropriate for everyone\u2014sometimes it doesn\u2019t have the desired effect, or the side effects are insurmountably harmful. It\u2019s important that your autonomy be respected when it comes to medication\u2014if you feel it isn\u2019t helping, you shouldn\u2019t let anyone push you or your child to take it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your Brain Is Plastic, So Change Can Heal It<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 theorizes that it\u2019s best to treat ADHD by using brain plasticity to your advantage.<\/strong> He explains that while your brain is most plastic during childhood, it continues to be affected by environmental stimuli throughout the rest of your life. This means that it\u2019s never too late to learn the psychological skills you missed out on developing as a child\u2014and when you do, it\u2019ll have a positive impact on your physical brain, too. Over time, you can gradually overcome the negative effects of early childhood stress on your brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since Mat\u00e9 believes that the fundamental cause of ADHD<\/a> is the rupture of the parent-child bond<\/a>, that\u2019s where he thinks you should focus most of your healing efforts. <\/strong>You can\u2019t go back in time and provide yourself with a consistently positive childhood, but you can <\/em>re-parent yourself as an adult by taking responsibility<\/a> for your emotional wellness, learning to fulfill your own needs, and accessing the resources you need to improve. Likewise, if you\u2019re the parent of a child with ADHD, you can help them flourish by making changes that strengthen the bond you share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Concrete Steps for Adult Healing<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

So, what kinds of positive changes can you make to your life to help your adult brain heal? According to Mat\u00e9, there are two essential components to re-parenting yourself: pursuing psychological growth and physical self-nurturing. Let\u2019s explore some of his suggestions for healing in both of these areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pursuing Psychological Growth<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Accept yourself, including your difficult emotions<\/a> and any behaviors you engage in but don\u2019t necessarily approve of.<\/strong> Many people with ADHD struggle with self-esteem because they feel their condition holds them back from achieving their goals and getting others\u2019 approval. You may even feel like there\u2019s something innately wrong with you, which Mat\u00e9 attributes to the shame you felt every time the bond between you and your parents was ruptured. To gain self-acceptance, remind yourself that you\u2019re doing your best and that healing is a journey\u2014it\u2019s okay if you\u2019re not where you\u2019d like to be yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Attend therapy.<\/strong> Mat\u00e9 explains that people have a deep-seated psychological need <\/em>for validation from others<\/a>, especially when they\u2019re in pain. He says that a family therapist can provide you with that validation, help you understand your emotional pain<\/a>, and support you in learning new psychological skills that can help you thrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice mindfulness.<\/strong> According to Mat\u00e9, mindfulness improves your neurological capacity to focus; in addition, it may have other psychological benefits, like spiritual fulfillment, that help you heal the emotional pain that underlies your ADHD. He specifically recommends mindfulness meditation<\/a> but notes that mindfulness can be incorporated into a vast array of activities, like spending time in nature<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Prioritize restorative recreation.<\/strong> Many people with ADHD overwork themselves as an outlet for their hyperactivity, but Mat\u00e9 says that in the long run, this only increases your stress. Instead, you should give yourself time to play, explore, and rest. For example, you might take up a creative hobby like crochet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physical Self-Nurturing<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

If you struggle with addiction to any substance or behavior (as many people with ADHD do), seek treatment.<\/strong> According to Mat\u00e9, to effectively treat addiction, you have to understand and deal with the root of the problem\u2014the emotional pain you\u2019re trying to cover up by engaging in your addictive behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep a neat home.<\/strong> An untidy environment can add to your emotional stress. If you struggle with this, Mat\u00e9 recommends setting a timer for a short period of time and cleaning until it goes off. Over time, you\u2019ll make steady progress toward maintaining your environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Practice good sleep hygiene<\/a>.<\/strong> Because of your difficulty with stillness, you may have trouble relaxing enough to fall asleep at night, but Mat\u00e9 notes that a lack of good sleep can worsen your stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get adequate nutrition and exercise.<\/strong> Your sensitive temperament means that you feel the effects of undernourishment and under-exercising more strongly, which Mat\u00e9 says can increase stress and inhibit your progress. But your sensitivity also means that if you do <\/em>get enough nutrition and exercise, you\u2019ll feel their positive effects\u2014like stress relief, increased focus, and improved mood\u2014more strongly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Concrete Steps for Childhood Healing<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9\u2019s advice for helping a child with ADHD heal is largely the same as his advice for adults: Don\u2019t force them to take medicine if it does more harm than good, and do your best to provide the psychological and physical nourishment they need. However, children with ADHD\u2014and their parents\u2014face some unique challenges as well. Let\u2019s explore some of those challenges and Mat\u00e9\u2019s proposed solutions for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Repairing the Parent-Child Bond<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 believes the fundamental cause of ADHD is the rupture of the parent-child bond. Since your child is still developing, you have the opportunity to repair that rupture and strengthen the bond between you. According to Mat\u00e9, the best way to do this is by cultivating and communicating an attitude of perfect acceptance of your child. <\/em><\/strong>If you\u2019re perfectly accepting of your child, you feel that you love, respect, and appreciate your child no matter what\u2014and more importantly, you make sure that your child feels secure in that fact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To show your child that you accept them perfectly, Mat\u00e9 recommends the following steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take a loving interest in your child\u2019s inner world.<\/strong> Try to understand what it\u2019s like to be them without <\/em>trying to \u201cfix\u201d them. If your child senses that you\u2019re judgmental, anxious, or angry about what\u2019s going on with them, it can make them feel ashamed and want to pull away from you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Initiate quality time with your child. <\/strong>This demonstrates that you value their presence in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avoid reactionary parenting. <\/strong>Mat\u00e9 says that your greatest priority as a parent is fulfilling your child\u2019s needs\u2014not<\/em> acting on your own emotional impulses. For example, this could mean taking time to gather yourself before you launch into a difficult discussion with your child about their school performance. If you can\u2019t regulate your emotions while you\u2019re parenting, your child may feel anxious and alienated from you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dealing With Defiance<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Many children with ADHD exhibit defiance\u2014an automatic reflex where the child rejects the parent\u2019s demands, expectations, or instructions<\/strong>\u2014and parents struggle to deal with that defiance without escalating the conflict. <\/strong>Mat\u00e9 explains that defiance is healthy to some extent\u2014by defying you, your child sets herself apart as an individual, which is an important part of her development. Defiance is especially common in teenagers because it\u2019s developmentally important for them to begin feeling more independent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 suggests taking the following steps whenever your child is defiant: First, encourage your child to express their feelings, and validate those feelings even if your child isn\u2019t going to get their way. Second, decide whether it\u2019s worth enforcing your rules in this case\u2014is it something trivial or a matter of their safety or well-being? Third, refuse to engage in a power struggle\u2014it\u2019s not about overpowering or imposing your will on them but getting your child to cooperate with you. Finally\u2014and most importantly\u2014after a disagreement, take the initiative to reconnect with your child as soon as possible<\/strong>. This reaffirms your perfect acceptance of your child: They know that no matter what they do, your relationship can\u2019t be damaged beyond repair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Promoting Achievement<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 emphasizes that promoting achievement shouldn\u2019t be your first <\/em>priority<\/strong>\u2014it\u2019s not as important as the parent-child bond, and if you put achievement first, your child will internalize your anxiety\/anger about their performance as shame. However, Mat\u00e9 also says that children with ADHD need to feel empowered to achieve whatever they want to achieve<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

He makes a couple of concrete suggestions to promote your child\u2019s empowerment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Develop your child\u2019s capacity for intrinsic motivation<\/a><\/strong> by giving them the opportunity to make their own choices (within reason) and letting them know that it\u2019s okay if they don\u2019t meet others\u2019 expectations for their achievement. Mat\u00e9 says this is better than relying on extrinsic motivation\u2014like punishments and rewards\u2014to encourage your child to achieve for three reasons: it gives the child anxiety about measuring up to your standards, increases defiance, and incentivizes the child to take the easiest route possible to achieve a desired reward (rather than incentivizing them to become genuinely invested in the task itself).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 suggests that when it comes to school-related achievement, you work together with your child\u2019s teachers to ensure that your child\u2019s ADHD-related needs are being accommodated.<\/strong> For example, if your child\u2019s teacher says they have difficulty staying still during class, you can collaborate to incorporate appropriate movement into their day\u2014for example, maybe a fidget spinner. You can also collaborate with your child himself by helping him strategize about how to meet his own educational goals without pushing your own goals onto him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Can you heal ADHD? Why can’t medication treat ADHD? Since ADHD results from the underdevelopment of your brain and psyche, Scattered Minds by Gabor Mat\u00e9 theorizes that you can heal your ADHD by leveraging blain plasticity to your advantage. This is your brain’s ongoing reactivity to environmental stimuli. Here are Mat\u00e9’s tips for how to heal ADHD in yourself and in your children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":44110,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[1105],"class_list":["post-108538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-scattered-minds","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Heal ADHD Without Medication (Adults & Children) - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you're struggling with ADHD, there's light at the end of the tunnel for children and adults. 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