{"id":108535,"date":"2023-07-17T11:22:00","date_gmt":"2023-07-17T15:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=108535"},"modified":"2025-09-15T11:04:35","modified_gmt":"2025-09-15T15:04:35","slug":"is-adhd-caused-by-bad-parenting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/is-adhd-caused-by-bad-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Is ADHD Caused by Bad Parenting? A Doctor Explains"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Is ADHD caused by bad parenting? How does the bond with your parent affect your cognitive-emotional development?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>ADHD is one of the most common disorders in the world, but many people are still unaware of the root causes of it. While this isn&#8217;t the case for everyone, <em>Scattered Minds<\/em> by Gabor Mat\u00e9 suggests that one explanation for an ADHD diagnosis is a negative relationship between parent and child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Continue reading for a more in-depth explanation of a parent&#8217;s influence on their child&#8217;s development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/society-culture\/psychology\/adhd-guide\/\">Shortform&#8217;s guide on ADHD<\/a>.\u00a0If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-the-parent-child-bond-affects-your-development\">How the Parent-Child Bond Affects Your Development<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Is ADHD caused by bad parenting? Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9 explains that the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-bond-with-your-child\/\">parent-child bond<\/a> influences your cognitive-emotional development in two ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, consistently positive parent-child interactions produce positive feelings, which set off neurochemical processes that promote the physical<em> <\/em>growth of your brain by building <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/creating-new-neural-pathways\/\">new neural pathways<\/a> and strengthening existing connections. On the other hand, if you <em>don\u2019t <\/em>have consistently positive interactions with your parents, you become physiologically stressed. Stress sets off a neurochemical reaction that <em>inhibits <\/em>neural growth. <strong>If you endured a lot of early childhood stress, your brain simply didn\u2019t have the opportunity to develop as it typically would.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: The kind of stress that can have adverse, long-term effects on the development of your brain is known as <a href=\"https:\/\/developingchild.harvard.edu\/science\/key-concepts\/toxic-stress\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>toxic stress<\/em>\u2014this results when children are exposed to serious stressors that go unresolved for long periods of time<\/a>, like abuse or dire poverty. Research indicates that other kinds of stress\u2014including <em>positive stress<\/em> resulting from normal childhood experiences like the first day of school, and <em>tolerable stress<\/em> that results from more severe hardships but is mitigated by supportive adults\u2014do not impede brain development.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mat\u00e9 argues that<strong> the neurological effects of early childhood stress can be seen most clearly in the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-does-the-prefrontal-cortex-do-in-the-brain\/\">prefrontal cortex<\/a> (PFC)<\/strong>, which studies suggest is underdeveloped in people with ADHD. The PFC is the part of your brain responsible for managing attention, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-control-impulses\/\">impulse control<\/a>, and stillness\u2014if your PFC is underdeveloped, you lack the physiological structure needed to support typical functioning in those areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/the-reality-of-gen-z\/202112\/7-ways-adhd-can-be-seen-in-the-brain\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ADHD brains are physiologically different from neurotypical brains in at least seven ways.<\/a> This includes an underdeveloped PFC, as well as an underdeveloped cerebellum and amygdala, which have roles in the regulation of stillness\/movement and emotions, respectively. Interestingly, the hippocampus, which is associated with memory, tends to be overdeveloped in people with ADHD; experts believe this is the brain\u2019s attempt to compensate for deficits in other <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-are-the-regions-of-the-brain\/\">areas of the brain<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, consistently healthy parent-child interactions teach you important <em>psychological skills<\/em>\u2014like how to manage your attention, control your impulses, and regulate stillness. For example, Mat\u00e9 explains that you typically learn <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-pay-attention\/\">how to pay attention<\/a> by having positive interactions with your parents\u2014you want more of the feel-good endorphins these interactions give you, so you learn to focus on your parents when they\u2019re focused on you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In addition to affecting your attention and impulses, parent-child interactions can also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents#part-1-understanding-emotionally-immature-parents-and-their-impact\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">affect your ability to handle emotions<\/a>, starting a cycle of unhealthy parent-child relationships. In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson explains that when parents restrict their children\u2019s freedom to express their emotions, the children may become <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-preoccupied\/\">self-preoccupied<\/a>, defensive, and psychologically limited, which in turn has an impact on their ability to nurture <em>their<\/em> children\u2019s psychological needs. Fortunately, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents#part-4-how-to-heal-and-move-forward-from-childhood-emotional-neglect\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">it only takes one person to break the cycle<\/a>\u2014if you learn how to meet your own psychological needs, you can pass those skills on to your children.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>On the other hand, if interacting with your parents was stressful, you never got the opportunity to learn these skills. <\/strong>For example, Mat\u00e9 believes that your difficulty with attention stems from when your brain automatically <em>dissociated <\/em>your attention from the discomfort you were experiencing when your parents stressed you out. Dissociation is an automatic survival mechanism: Distress takes a physical toll on your body, so your brain protects you by dissociating from your stress. If you had enough negative interactions with your parents, inattention gradually became your baseline state. As a result, you\u2019re only able to pay attention when it\u2019s emotionally rewarding enough\u2014otherwise, it requires an immense conscious effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/adhd-symptom-spotlight-dissociation-5270278\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Dissociation is <em>not <\/em>a symptom of ADHD<\/a>, but people with ADHD may dissociate when they experience trauma and may be more likely to experience trauma. If you struggle with dissociation, <em>grounding techniques <\/em>that help you connect with your present reality may help. For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/grounding-techniques#mental-techniques:~:text=11.%20Try%20the,of%20your%20computer.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one common grounding technique<\/a> is to list things you can hear, smell, taste, touch, and see.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is ADHD caused by bad parenting? How does the bond with your parent affect your cognitive-emotional development? ADHD is one of the most common disorders in the world, but many people are still unaware of the root causes of it. While this isn&#8217;t the case for everyone, Scattered Minds by Gabor Mat\u00e9 suggests that one explanation for an ADHD diagnosis is a negative relationship between parent and child. Continue reading for a more in-depth explanation of a parent&#8217;s influence on their child&#8217;s development.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":77710,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,9],"tags":[1105],"class_list":["post-108535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-psychology","tag-scattered-minds","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Is ADHD Caused by Bad Parenting? A Doctor Explains - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Is ADHD caused by bad parenting? While there are many potential causes of ADHD, one of them is linked to childhood experiences. 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