{"id":108504,"date":"2023-07-19T21:55:00","date_gmt":"2023-07-20T01:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=108504"},"modified":"2025-10-03T11:35:24","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T15:35:24","slug":"conversation-resume","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/conversation-resume\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversation R\u00e9sum\u00e9 + 4 More Ways to Prepare for Quality Talks"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you prepared to start meaningful conversations and keep them going? Do you have a conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9? If you were to have one, what would go on it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To get better at any sort of conversation, you need to prepare to have it beforehand\u2014in the same way you should warm up your muscles before running a race. Social interaction specialist Patrick King shares five conversation preparation techniques to set you up for greater success in conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn how to always be prepared for quality conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of\u00a0Shortform\u2019s guide to storytelling<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1: Develop a Conversation R\u00e9sum\u00e9<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 is a mental list of the things about you that are interesting and would engage other people. Having a conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 ensures you enter any conversation with a few good talking points and avoid awkward pauses. According to King, you should craft and regularly update four parts of your conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 so you can easily talk about them in any context: 1) what\u2019s going on in your day or week, 2) what\u2019s going on in your life more broadly, 3) unique experiences and traits you have, and 4) your takes on current events.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: \u201cConversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9\u201d is a good term for this mental summary of your life highlights. Like a real r\u00e9sum\u00e9, the conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 only features the best<\/em> experiences you\u2019ve gathered. You thus avoid talking about negative or insignificant topics with either a hirer or a new acquaintance. And both conventional and conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9s make it easier to summon these key experiences to mind. Still, there\u2019s one key difference between a job r\u00e9sum\u00e9 and a conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9: The former is a marketing tool<\/a> while the latter is a resource that lets you connect meaningfully <\/em>with others. King warns in the book that viewing a conversation as a way to promote yourself will likely push people away\u2014the opposite effect you want to have.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exercise: Create Your Own Conversation R\u00e9sum\u00e9<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

King recommends creating a mental resume of your most interesting life experiences that you can draw on in any conversation. In this exercise, think about what might go on your conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 and how you can speak about those experiences engagingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. Reflect on what\u2019s been going on in your week. Has anything interesting happened at work or on the weekend? Write a three-sentence mini-story to describe this experience.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Think more broadly about the last few months of your life. Are there any ongoing experiences that might be interesting to share? (For example, you or your partner might be pregnant or you might be training for a race). Write a mini-story about this experience.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Zoom out even further, and think about your entire life. Do you have any unique or extraordinary life experiences to talk about? Can you transform them into a mini-story?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Finally, reflect on what\u2019s happening in the news. Do you have any opinions or insights into current events? Write a mini-story that covers a current event and your take on it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    #2: Have More Low-Pressure Interactions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    When you engage frequently in short, unimportant conversations, you keep your social and conversation muscles warmed up. These interactions can be brief: Simply asking a question or making an observation to another person is sufficient. King suggests, for example, that you make use of mundane interactions with service workers to warm up. It\u2019s part of their job to make you, as a customer, feel good, so there\u2019s little danger of it going awry. Plus, they\u2019re often bored at work and appreciate some light engagement. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (Shortform note: Preparing to have conversations might be even more important in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic. During the pandemic, when most social interactions took place on screens, many people felt they simply forgot how to have in-person conversations<\/a>\u2014in other words, their social muscles atrophied. However, at the same time, people increasingly began taking out their frustrations on service workers<\/a>, possibly because doing this helped them feel less powerless during an unpredictable time. All this makes it perhaps more important to hone your social skills in low-pressure interactions with service workers and be especially <\/em>kind to them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    #3: Prepare Your Voice for Conversation<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    To sound confident and charismatic in conversation, you need to also warm your voice<\/em> up. You can do this by reading something out loud\u2014ideally something with emotional weight (like a paragraph from a work of fiction or a play). Once you\u2019ve read it, read it again with as much exaggerated emotion as possible\u2014if there\u2019s a sad part, read it with extreme pathos, for instance. While doing this, try to speak clearly and at a comprehensible pace. Project your voice and avoid a monotonous tone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (Shortform note: Behavioral expert Thomas Erikson might argue that this type of vocal warm-up doesn\u2019t serve everyone. In Surrounded by Idiots<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>he writes that people have different personality types and, as such, have different communication styles<\/a>. Only some personality types are highly expressive in the way King intends his warm-up to make you. Other personality types speak in a more subdued manner, with few tonal shifts and little inflection. Erikson might assert that you shouldn\u2019t try to change<\/em> your communication style to be more expressive but rather find the vocal warm-up that prepares you to best express yourself in your natural communication style.)  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    #4: Expand Your Field of Reference<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    King writes that people generally prefer to talk to others who lead interesting lives and can contribute thoughts on a wide range of topics. He says you can prepare to have more engaged conversations by expanding your field of reference: Pursue more of your interests<\/a> and educate yourself about new topics and ideas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (Shortform note: King\u2019s advice to expand your field of reference helps you achieve goals other than higher-quality conversations. In Talk Like TED<\/em><\/a>, Carmine Gallo writes that regularly learning and doing new things gives you more material to work with<\/a> when giving speeches and presentations, thereby making them more interesting and engaging. David J. Schwartz also notes in The Magic of Thinking Big<\/em><\/a> <\/em>that when you explore new ideas, you can think with greater creativity<\/a>, which in turn makes you more likely to find success in work and life. So no matter what you do, there\u2019s likely some benefit to expanding your field of reference.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    #5: Become More Open-Minded<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    If you constantly judge or shut down others\u2019 views, people won\u2019t feel comfortable when talking to you and will eventually avoid you entirely. Prepare to have good talks by becoming more open-minded and tolerant of new opinions. To do this, King encourages you to avoid making assumptions, stop clinging to your own views and opinions, and prioritize connection over being right. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    (Shortform note: King includes this point at the end of the book, but his recommendations for how <\/em>to become more open-minded<\/a> are meant to take place during <\/em>the conversation. In other words, for example, in conversation, you\u2019d stop yourself from making assumptions about what the other person is saying. Because it\u2019s important to enter<\/em> a conversation with these ideas in mind, we\u2019ve moved this idea to the section on preparing<\/em> for conversations. This better reflects the reality that becoming open-minded requires real mental preparation<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Are you prepared to start meaningful conversations and keep them going? Do you have a conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9? If you were to have one, what would go on it? To get better at any sort of conversation, you need to prepare to have it beforehand\u2014in the same way you should warm up your muscles before running a race. Social interaction specialist Patrick King shares five conversation preparation techniques to set you up for greater success in conversations. Keep reading to learn how to always be prepared for quality conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":17459,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[1104],"class_list":["post-108504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","tag-better-small-talk","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nConversation R\u00e9sum\u00e9 + 4 More Ways to Prepare for Quality Talks - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A conversation r\u00e9sum\u00e9 keeps you ready with a few good talking points. 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