{"id":107190,"date":"2023-07-04T12:39:01","date_gmt":"2023-07-04T16:39:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=107190"},"modified":"2023-07-11T17:31:30","modified_gmt":"2023-07-11T21:31:30","slug":"evaluate-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"Evaluating Relationships: How&#8217;s Your Social Fitness?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are your relationships healthy? Who needs more of your time? Does anyone need to go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Good Life<\/em>, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz provide a methodology for evaluating your \u201csocial fitness\u201d\u2014the current health of your relationships. This will give you an idea of who you need to focus on more and who you need to cut from your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Find out how to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-your-relationship\/\">evaluate relationships<\/a> in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-evaluate-your-relationships\"><strong>Evaluate Your Relationships<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors argue that <strong>understanding how often you see people <em>now <\/em>and how those people add to or subtract from your life will motivate you<\/strong> to make any necessary changes to your social life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Waldinger and Schulz recommend that, to evaluate relationships, you should begin by listing the people who make up your social circle. This likely will include people you love, such as your friends and family, even if you don\u2019t see them as often as you\u2019d like. But it will also likely include people you see regularly but aren\u2019t particularly close to\u2014such as the bartender at your local pub\u2014or even people you actively dislike\u2014such as that in-law you can\u2019t stand.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, Waldinger and Schulz suggest that you review both how <em>often <\/em>you see each person in your life and how each one makes you feel. Does being in this person\u2019s company refresh and uplift you, or does it drain and depress you? If it\u2019s the latter, is there any particular reason why, and is there something you can do about it? Are you happy with how often you see each person, or would you like to see more or less of them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Third, Waldinger and Schulz suggest that you review the specific benefits you receive from each relationship. Some people provide love and sex, while others provide assistance when you\u2019re struggling\u2014such as when you don\u2019t know what job to take. Some people help you feel safe, while others push you outside your comfort zone. There are some people you can talk about anything with and others you can rely on because they\u2019re so familiar to you. Keep in mind that some people will provide multiple benefits, but several of them won\u2019t provide <em>all <\/em>of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Other Methods for Evaluating Your Social Fitness<\/strong><br><br>Other experts agree that <a href=\"https:\/\/hprc-online.blogspot.com\/2020\/05\/test-your-social-fitness-and-firm-up.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">evaluating your social fitness is important<\/a>, explaining that you can only <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-improve-your-relationships-2\/\">improve your relationships<\/a> when you have a better understanding of their current state. Like Waldinger and Schulz, they suggest reviewing how often you see each person in your life and how each person makes you feel to ensure that most of your relationships provide you with some support (and that you reciprocate). Additionally, they point out the importance of having relationships that provide varying levels of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/emotional-intimacy-in-a-relationship\/\">emotional intimacy<\/a> and assistance.<br><br>Unlike Waldinger and Schulz, these experts suggest that you also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hprc-online.org\/social-fitness\/relationship-building\/what-social-fitness-basics-relationship-health-military\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">review how many of the people in your life know each other<\/a> to determine how well-integrated your connections are. The experts highlight the importance of having people in your life who will tell you the truth no matter what. And they propose that you evaluate whether you have positive relationships with six different <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/three-types-of-people\/\">types of people<\/a>: family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, professionals (like your lawyer or accountant), and people in your community (like your volunteer group). If your social group includes all these elements, you have a network that can help you achieve your fullest potential.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are your relationships healthy? Who needs more of your time? Does anyone need to go? In The Good Life, Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz provide a methodology for evaluating your \u201csocial fitness\u201d\u2014the current health of your relationships. This will give you an idea of who you need to focus on more and who you need to cut from your life. Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":32471,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12,43],"tags":[1089],"class_list":["post-107190","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-the-good-life","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Evaluating Relationships: How&#039;s Your Social Fitness? - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Evaluating Relationships: How&#039;s Your Social Fitness?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1292\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"764\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Katie Doll\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Katie Doll\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937\"},\"headline\":\"Evaluating Relationships: How&#8217;s Your Social Fitness?\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\"},\"wordCount\":590,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Good Life\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Relationships\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\",\"name\":\"Evaluating Relationships: How's Your Social Fitness? - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00\",\"description\":\"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg\",\"width\":1292,\"height\":764},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Evaluating Relationships: How&#8217;s Your Social Fitness?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937\",\"name\":\"Katie Doll\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Katie Doll\"},\"description\":\"Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy\/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.\",\"knowsAbout\":[\"Bachelor of Arts in English With a Concentration in Creative Writing\"],\"jobTitle\":\"Senior SEO Writer\",\"worksFor\":\"Shortform\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/katie\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Evaluating Relationships: How's Your Social Fitness? - Shortform Books","description":"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Evaluating Relationships: How's Your Social Fitness?","og_description":"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1292,"height":764,"url":"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Katie Doll","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Katie Doll","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/"},"author":{"name":"Katie Doll","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937"},"headline":"Evaluating Relationships: How&#8217;s Your Social Fitness?","datePublished":"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00","dateModified":"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/"},"wordCount":590,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","keywords":["The Good Life"],"articleSection":["Lifestyle","Relationships","Self-Improvement"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/","name":"Evaluating Relationships: How's Your Social Fitness? - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","datePublished":"2023-07-04T16:39:01+00:00","dateModified":"2023-07-11T21:31:30+00:00","description":"Are your relationships on autopilot? Find out how to evaluate relationships in your life in order to move forward in a positive direction.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","width":1292,"height":764},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/evaluate-relationship\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Evaluating Relationships: How&#8217;s Your Social Fitness?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World&#039;s Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c3e1b539e89423b544ede91ab2bff937","name":"Katie Doll","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/6239731a3fc739640b80be30f2b1727a055d3535d0ee4569e8282faa323e47fc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Katie Doll"},"description":"Somehow, Katie was able to pull off her childhood dream of creating a career around books after graduating with a degree in English and a concentration in Creative Writing. Her preferred genre of books has changed drastically over the years, from fantasy\/dystopian young-adult to moving novels and non-fiction books on the human experience. Katie especially enjoys reading and writing about all things television, good and bad.","knowsAbout":["Bachelor of Arts in English With a Concentration in Creative Writing"],"jobTitle":"Senior SEO Writer","worksFor":"Shortform","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/katie\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/two-friends.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107190","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107190"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107190\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":107783,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107190\/revisions\/107783"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32471"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107190"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107190"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107190"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}