{"id":105750,"date":"2023-06-19T17:25:00","date_gmt":"2023-06-19T21:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=105750"},"modified":"2023-06-21T09:02:54","modified_gmt":"2023-06-21T13:02:54","slug":"why-are-you-so-busy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-are-you-so-busy\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Are You So Busy? The Real Reason You&#8217;re in the Fast Lane"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why are you so busy? Why does it feel like you&#8217;re out of sync when you try to slow down?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, <\/em>pastor and author John Mark Comer explores culture&#8217;s obsession with rushing. He explains how this obsession infiltrates and impacts your life and offers an antidote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more to learn why you and everyone else are always in a rush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-culture-of-busyness\">A Culture of Busyness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Why are you so busy? Comer says that our culture values speed and that this value compels us to rush. Our culture surrounds us with messages that it\u2019s better to be fast than slow. We internalize these messages and arrange our lives to match the speed of the world around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, consider the popularity of apps designed to help you maximize your efficiency and productivity at work. These apps send the message that productivity and efficiency are better than working at a relaxed pace. When you download and use them, you reinforce this value and speed up the pace of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How Widespread Is the Tendency to Rush?<\/strong><br><br>Comer says that <em>everyone<\/em> is surrounded by messages that speed is better, internalizes these messages, and designs their lives to prioritize speed. However, Comer doesn\u2019t explore counterexamples that suggest the pace of life and its associated values <em>aren\u2019t <\/em>universal.<br><br>Although a fast-paced lifestyle may be prevalent in some places, some people have historically valued a slow pace of life and continue to do so. For instance, <a href=\"https:\/\/muslimgirl.com\/how-islam-advocated-for-slow-living-before-it-was-trendy\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">barakah culture is an Islamic lifestyle that values slowing down and simplifying your life<\/a>, allowing you to focus on worshiping Allah and connecting with those around you.<br><br>Furthermore, some people are resisting the obsession with rushing that Comer discusses. In his book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.harpercollins.com\/products\/in-praise-of-slowness-carl-honore\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>In Praise of Slowness<\/em><\/a>, Carl Honor\u00e9 calls this worldwide effort to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-slow-down-in-life-2\/\">slow down life<\/a> the \u201cSlow Movement\u201d and explores examples throughout the world. For instance:<br>\u2022 The Society for the Deceleration of Time, whose members hail from across Europe, publishes essays on the merits of being slow, engages in performative art that celebrates slowness, and holds conferences to discuss ways to slow down life.<br>\u2022 In the late 1980s, Italian culinary writer Carlo Petrini founded the International Slow Food Movement, a group that encourages the leisurely eating of slow-grown foods. Today, the movement has more than 78,000 members.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Comer identifies a belief that contributes to maintaining the pervasive culture of speed: <strong>the delusion that we can do everything we want. <\/strong>Comer calls this a delusion because, in reality, we don\u2019t have enough time to do it all. For instance, you may believe you can be an effective worker, a loving family member, a talented athlete, a hilarious TikToker, and a supportive friend\u2014but in trying, you\u2019ll sacrifice your sleep and health, making it impossible to meet all these goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Our Delusions About Time<\/strong><br><br>Another delusion may contribute to perpetuating this culture of speed: the delusion that we can fully control <em>how<\/em> we use our time. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/four-thousand-weeks\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Four Thousand Weeks<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Oliver Burkeman explores why we have this delusion and why it\u2019s false.<br><br>Burkeman says that the Industrial Revolution\u2019s focus on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-more-is-less\/\">maximizing<\/a> productivity has led us to believe that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/four-thousand-weeks\/1-page-summary#reason-1-the-industrial-revolution-transformed-time-into-a-resource-to-exploit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">time is a resource we must use well<\/a> by being ultra-productive. He adds that time-saving technologies (like dishwashers) make us <em>think<\/em> we can save time in other areas of our lives, such as our commute to work.<br><br>But, Burkeman says that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/four-thousand-weeks\/1-page-summary#part-2-the-reality-youll-never-have-total-control-over-your-time\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">we have less control over how we use our time than we think<\/a>. First, our automatic habits get in the way: For instance, we tend to work on minor tasks to distract ourselves from important tasks. Second, it\u2019s hard to prevent <em>other<\/em> people from dictating how we use our time. Any time we\u2019re efficient in our work, <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/four-thousand-weeks\/1-page-summary#reason-2-the-faster-you-work-now-the-faster-youll-have-to-work-in-the-future\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">people expect us to be even more efficient in the future<\/a>. This reduces our autonomy over our time.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What It Means to Rush Through Life<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Comer, <strong>busyness can be either negative or positive. <\/strong>He draws a distinction between what we\u2019ll call a <em>lively <\/em>lifestyle (positive busyness) and a <em>rushed<\/em> lifestyle (negative busyness):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>When your life is <\/strong><strong><em>lively<\/em><\/strong><strong>, it brims with <\/strong><strong><em>meaningful experiences<\/em><\/strong>. Comer presents four criteria that characterize meaningful experiences: They 1) nurture your spirituality, 2) deepen your relationships, 3) support your health, and 4) cultivate your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/having-a-purpose-in-life\/\">sense of purpose<\/a>.<\/li><li><strong>When your life is <\/strong><strong><em>rushed<\/em><\/strong><strong>, it\u2019s packed with <\/strong><strong><em>meaningless experiences<\/em><\/strong>\u2014time-consuming tasks that distract you from meaningful experiences.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Busyness may have additional benefits beyond those Comer explores: Specifically, busyness may improve cognition and increase self-control. One study found that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.frontiersin.org\/articles\/10.3389\/fnagi.2016.00098\/full\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">busy people tend to score higher on cognitive tasks<\/a>, such as tasks related to memory, compared to people who are less busy. Another study found that reminding people about their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/busy-lifestyle\/\">busy lifestyle<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.insead.edu\/news\/2018-insead-research-shows-that-busy-people-make-healthier-choices\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">increases the likelihood that they\u2019ll make decisions that benefit them in the long run<\/a>, such as decisions related to exercise and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-save-for-retirement\/\">saving for retirement<\/a>. This suggests that busy people tend to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/defer-gratification\/\">delay gratification<\/a> in favor of making healthy choices.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Additional Advice on Identifying Meaningful Experiences<\/strong><br><br>Comer doesn\u2019t explore in depth how to tell whether an experience meets the four criteria of meaningful experiences, which may make it hard to evaluate to what extent your life is lively versus rushed. Let\u2019s explore other experts\u2019 perspectives on these criteria.<br><br><strong>What it looks like to nurture your spirituality:<\/strong> Nurturing spirituality may look different for different people. Some Christian thinkers say <a href=\"https:\/\/thinke.org\/blog\/attending-church-important\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">the best way to nurture your spirituality is to regularly attend church<\/a>, explaining that gathering weekly with other worshippers inspires you and holds you accountable for making time for God. However, others say Church attendance isn\u2019t required for nurturing Christian spirituality. For instance, in <a href=\"http:\/\/bakerpublishinggroup.com\/books\/how-to-be-a-christian-without-going-to-church\/321111\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>How to Be a Christian Without Going to Church<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>pastor Kelly Bean insists that you can nurture your spirituality in other ways, such as gathering regularly with fellow worshippers online or offline to discuss God\u2019s word and organize service projects. However, these two perspectives share the belief that nurturing your spirituality means regularly spending <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/time-alone-with-god\/\">time with God<\/a>.<br><br><strong>What deep relationships look like: <\/strong>Simply spending time with loved ones may not be enough to maintain deep relationships. Psychiatrist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel Heller argue in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/attached\/1-page-summary\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Attached<\/em><\/a> that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/attached\/chapter-1#how-attachment-styles-affect-our-relationships\">different people have different \u201cattachment styles,\u201d<\/a> or ways of meeting their relationship needs. For instance, <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/avoidant-attachment-in-adults\/\">avoidant attachers<\/a><\/em> may appreciate long periods of alone time, whereas <em>anxious attachers<\/em> may wish to spend quality time with you every day. If you\u2019re aware of your loved ones&#8217; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/attachment-patterns-in-psychology\/\">attachment styles<\/a> and tailor your interactions with them accordingly, your relationships are likely to be deep and meaningful.<br><br><strong>What it looks like to support your health: <\/strong>Many medical experts believe that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mentalhealth.org.uk\/a-to-z\/p\/physical-health-and-mental-health\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">your physical and mental health are closely linked<\/a>, so supporting your overall health requires attending to <em>both<\/em> your physical and mental well-being. You can support your mental and physical health through habits such as eating a healthy diet, exercising, getting enough sleep, and avoiding unhealthy behaviors like smoking.<br><br><strong>How to tell if experiences cultivate your sense of purpose: <\/strong>In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/wanting\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Wanting<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Luke Burgis says that an experience is likely to be meaningful, and therefore to contribute to your sense of purpose, if you answer \u201cyes\u201d to these <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/wanting#step-1-identify-meaningful-desires\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">three questions<\/a> about it:<br>\u2022 <strong>Will it improve others\u2019 lives? <\/strong>For example, you may derive <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-sense-of-purpose\/\">a sense of purpose<\/a> from becoming an art therapist who helps people heal through creativity.<br>\u2022 <strong>Will it provide long-term satisfaction?<\/strong> For instance, a degree in philosophy may equip you with lenses to approach the rest of your life with curiosity.<br>\u2022 <strong>When you\u2019re on your deathbed, will you be glad you pursued that experience?<\/strong> People close to death often regret having chased meaningless experiences over meaningful ones that would have contributed to their sense of purpose.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why are you so busy? Why does it feel like you&#8217;re out of sync when you try to slow down? In The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, pastor and author John Mark Comer explores culture&#8217;s obsession with rushing. He explains how this obsession infiltrates and impacts your life and offers an antidote. Read more to learn why you and everyone else are always in a rush.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":71157,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,24],"tags":[1068],"class_list":["post-105750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-society","tag-the-ruthless-elimination-of-hurry","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Are You So Busy? The Real Reason You&#039;re in the Fast Lane - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why are you so busy? 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Discover how you tend to internalize cultural messages and arrange your life to match the speed of the world around you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-are-you-so-busy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-06-19T21:25:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-06-21T13:02:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/crowd-people-pedestrians-walking-busy.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"630\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-are-you-so-busy\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-are-you-so-busy\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Elizabeth Whitworth\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/d2928cf6c11a69ced1491d6a5b74fb13\"},\"headline\":\"Why Are You So Busy? 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