Do you want to become a better version of yourself? What’s the number one way to make necessary changes in life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Change is possible, but only if you believe it is. Otherwise, you’ll never grow beyond the circumstances you’re living in. Luckily, Built Through Courage<\/em> by Dave Hollis has tips to help you believe in change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Continue reading for tips on changing your current circumstances.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Many people don\u2019t fulfill their purpose because they don\u2019t recognize their own potential for change. Thus, an important step to changing your life<\/a> and fulfilling your purpose<\/a> is to believe in change.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: In The Magic of Thinking Big<\/em><\/a>, David J. Schwartz further explains why <\/em>it\u2019s essential to believe that change is possible: If you believe you can\u2019t <\/em>do something, you\u2019ll subconsciously search for confirmation of this belief<\/a>. He notes that you can even subconsciously confirm it yourself by working less hard or less carefully. In contrast, if you do <\/em>believe in yourself<\/a>, you\u2019ll search for confirmation of your abilities, which can make you subconsciously work harder or more carefully.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hollis offers a few tips for cultivating the belief that you can change your circumstances:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagination is an important tool for believing change is possible. <\/strong>It lets you picture different opportunities and paths forward rather than simply accepting your current path. In turn, realizing you can make those potential lives a reality encourages you to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, Hollis had the opportunity to leave Disney and help his then-wife run her self-help and lifestyle company\u2014a change that aligned well with his purpose of helping others and his goal to be more present for his family. After working at Disney for so many years, though, he struggled to even consider this new path. It seemed illogical to leave a well-paying, respected job that guaranteed a steady future. However, by letting himself imagine what his life would look like if he left, Hollis realized how much happier and more fulfilling that alternative path would be. That encouraged him to depart Disney to pursue his purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Some psychologists add that imagining many <\/em>alternative scenarios is better than imagining one. Having varied options can help you make better-informed decisions about the changes you want to make and how to make them<\/a>. If you only imagine one scenario, you risk choosing that path simply because it\u2019s there, much like mindlessly accepting your current path. The more options you consider, the lower this risk is, as comparing several options forces you to carefully consider which path would make you happiest and most fulfilled. This may not always be necessary, though, as Hollis only mentions imagining one scenario\u2014helping his wife run her self-help and lifestyle company\u2014and he was still happy with his decision to leave Disney.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n To start this process, imagine dying without any regrets, Hollis says. What would your life look like? What would you have done? Imagining the happiness and fulfillment of a life without regrets provides a big-picture idea of how you want to live and gives you the courage to make changes in the present so you can realize your imagined scenario.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: While Hollis recommends focusing on your future<\/a>, some psychology experts instead suggest reflecting on your past<\/em>\u2014specifically, past regrets<\/a>. Considering why you regret those situations reveals your values and which behaviors violate them. Knowing this can help you change your future behavior to honor your values and avoid repeating mistakes.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Challenging your restrictive beliefs is another important part of believing that change is possible.<\/strong> Restrictive beliefs are negative things you believe about yourself that stop you from changing or achieving your purpose. They usually stem from your upbringing<\/a>, the roles that affect your sense of identity, and your past experiences. <\/strong>These are the main elements that influence your behavior and sense of self, Hollis says, which in turn affect your decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, if you were frequently left in charge of your younger siblings growing up, you might develop the restrictive belief that you have to be responsible for other people and that your role is the \u201ccaretaker.\u201d This belief stops you from pursuing your own interests and goals since you\u2019re focused on looking after others. If you want to achieve your purpose and feel happy and fulfilled, you must challenge your restrictive belief and give yourself permission to focus on yourself instead of (or in addition to) focusing on other people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: In Awaken the Giant Within<\/em><\/a>, Tony Robbins says that particularly complex experiences are most likely to dictate your restrictive beliefs. Your brain simplifies and generalizes<\/a> these experiences, losing nuance and resulting in a false or restrictive negative belief. Continuing our example, you did <\/em>have to be responsible when you were supervising your siblings, but that doesn\u2019t mean you always <\/em>have to be responsible for others to the detriment of your goal. Generalizing your responsibility\u2014taking your role of caretaker for your siblings and applying it to more people\u2014turns a truth into a restrictive belief.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n To overcome your restrictive beliefs, analyze where they came from, <\/strong>Hollis suggests. <\/strong>Often, these beliefs stem from untrustworthy sources\u2014people who don\u2019t understand or support your values and goals and instead try to impose their own values and goals on you. Recognizing that these sources are untrustworthy makes it easier to dismiss restrictive beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, you may have the restrictive belief that becoming a teacher is a boring, low-status, poorly paid career path<\/a>. If you analyze the source of this belief, you can realize that it stems from your parents, who value high-paying, competitive business careers. This doesn\u2019t align with your own ideals of pursuing your passion<\/a>, helping others, and sharing knowledge, making your parents an untrustworthy source.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Hollis\u2019s recommendation here is arguably a form of Socratic questioning<\/em>: asking yourself questions about your beliefs<\/a> to dig into their possible roots and validity (or lack thereof). As well as asking where the belief came from, you might ask what proof there is (or isn\u2019t) to support the belief, whether it\u2019s based on rational evidence or pure emotion, what assumptions support the belief, and how those assumptions might be flawed. Your answers may reveal that the belief is false, built on faulty assumptions<\/a>, and purely restrictive, making it easier to dismiss.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Changing your perspective<\/a> can also help you believe that you can change your life<\/a> and achieve your purpose.<\/strong> Hollis says your experiences shape you: The type of significance you put on an experience affects your behavior and sense of self. If you put positive<\/em> significance on experiences\u2014viewing them as a source of strength or motivation, for instance\u2014you\u2019re more likely to grow as a person<\/a> and achieve your purpose. This is in contrast to putting negative<\/em> significance on experiences\u2014for example, viewing them as a source of weakness or pain\u2014which defines you by those events and makes it difficult to move past them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To focus on the positives<\/a> of past situations, consider how they helped you grow,<\/strong> rather than focusing on how they hurt you, Hollis says. This shift in focus can help you feel empowered to grow and change, instead of trapped by your experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For example, if you get fired from a job and focus on feeling angry, embarrassed, and inadequate, you\u2019ll keep feeling those emotions every time you think about working, which will discourage you from applying to other jobs. If you instead focus on the lessons you learned\u2014for example, you\u2019re not suited to an office job\u2014you\u2019ll feel empowered to use that knowledge to find a job that suits you better, allowing you to move on from losing the first job.<\/p>\n\n\n\nBelieve You Can Change Your Circumstances<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Tip #1: Use Imagination<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Tip #2: Challenge Restrictive Beliefs<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Tip #3: Change Your Perspective<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n