{"id":104093,"date":"2023-05-27T11:53:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-27T15:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=104093"},"modified":"2023-06-02T13:40:14","modified_gmt":"2023-06-02T17:40:14","slug":"how-to-focus-on-the-positive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-focus-on-the-positive\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Focus on the Positives When Dealing With Trauma"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How do you focus on the positives when you&#8217;re constantly exposed to negativity? How can a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/positive-outlook-on-life\/\">positive outlook on life<\/a> help you cope with trauma?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It may feel hard to get rid of negative thoughts when you&#8217;ve been exposed to secondary trauma as a caretaker. With the help of <em>Trauma Stewardship<\/em> by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, you can shift your focus to the positive things in life, even if they&#8217;re small.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Find out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/focus-on-the-positive\/\">how to focus on the positive<\/a> and get rid of the negativity that&#8217;s dampening your mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-think-about-the-positives\"><strong>Think About the Positives<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When exposed to trauma, you might feel overwhelmed by how bad situations seem and how little control you have over them. However, Lipsky argues that you can <strong>restore your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/a-sense-of-agency\/\">sense of agency<\/a> by<\/strong> <strong>deliberately knowing how to focus on the positives rather than negatives<\/strong>\u2014on what you <em>can <\/em>do instead of what you <em>can&#8217;t<\/em>. This practice reminds you that you have a choice in every moment and allows you to reframe situations in healthier ways and take productive action. When you regularly choose to focus on positive things, it becomes easier to notice the positives. Lipsky cautions, though, that reframing situations to see their upsides doesn\u2019t mean <em>suppressing<\/em> your negative emotions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-advantage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Happiness Advantage<\/em><\/a>, Shawn Achor writes that learning to see the positives during challenging moments <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-advantage\/1-page-summary#principle-4-learn-and-grow-through-adversity\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">allows you to grow and become more resilient<\/a>. Seeing the positives doesn\u2019t mean ignoring problems or your feelings; rather, you\u2019re choosing to notice the good that\u2019s there<em> alongside<\/em> the problems. To do this, Achor recommends making a short list of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-find-what-makes-you-happy\/\">what makes you happy<\/a> or grateful every day or writing about a positive experience.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To take control of your focus, Lipsky offers a few suggestions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Focus on your resources. <\/strong>When you feel overwhelmed or distressed, think about the sources of support and comfort you have in your life\u2014the memories you\u2019ve had, the people you know, or the places you\u2019ve visited that you associate with peace and calm. For example, you might imagine your favorite reading nook or your pet. When you direct your awareness to your resources, you draw your attention away from what\u2019s distressing you. This allows you to snap yourself out of your panic and calm your nervous system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: While Lipsky advises you to think about the resources you have in your life, you can also think about anything that makes you happy\u2014what Rhonda Byrne calls <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-secret\/chapter-5#moving-from-negative-to-positive-feelings\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u201cthought lifters.\u201d<\/a> In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-secret\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Secret<\/em><\/a>, Byrne adds a layer of specificity to Lipsky\u2019s suggestions on how to redirect your focus in stressful moments: First, make a list of thought lifters, such as cute animals or a beautiful sunset. When you\u2019re feeling negative emotions, close your eyes and smile for at least a minute. Then, concentrate on a thought lifter and how it makes you feel, and move down the list until you\u2019re feeling better.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Make a Plan B. <\/strong>Create an alternative vision of your life, whether it involves a shift in your career, a move to a different location, or an entirely new lifestyle. When you consider alternative options, you recognize that you have a life outside of your work and that you always have the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/freedom-to-choose\/\">freedom to choose<\/a> how you want to live it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/designing-your-life\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Designing Your Life<\/em><\/a>, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans suggest you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/designing-your-life#step-6-design-three-different-lives\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">plan out <em>three<\/em> different lives<\/a> to remind yourself that there are multiple paths to happiness and fulfillment. Your first plan should be the life you\u2019re currently living. Your second plan should be what you would do if your current line of work disappeared. Your third plan should be what you\u2019d do if money or the opinions of others didn\u2019t matter. To create each plan, write a short title and a timeline containing the experiences and activities you\u2019d like to enjoy. By having multiple plans, you might better recover a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/an-internal-locus-of-control\/\">sense of control<\/a> over your life.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you focus on the positives when you&#8217;re constantly exposed to negativity? How can a positive outlook on life help you cope with trauma? It may feel hard to get rid of negative thoughts when you&#8217;ve been exposed to secondary trauma as a caretaker. With the help of Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, you can shift your focus to the positive things in life, even if they&#8217;re small. Find out how to focus on the positive and get rid of the negativity that&#8217;s dampening your mood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":71078,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,7,9],"tags":[1045],"class_list":["post-104093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","tag-trauma-stewardship","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Focus on the Positives When Dealing With Trauma - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-focus-on-the-positive\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Focus on the Positives When Dealing With Trauma\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How do you focus on the positives when you&#8217;re constantly exposed to negativity? How can a positive outlook on life help you cope with trauma? It may feel hard to get rid of negative thoughts when you&#8217;ve been exposed to secondary trauma as a caretaker. With the help of Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, you can shift your focus to the positive things in life, even if they&#8217;re small. 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