{"id":102398,"date":"2023-05-21T13:23:46","date_gmt":"2023-05-21T17:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=102398"},"modified":"2023-05-23T13:37:57","modified_gmt":"2023-05-23T17:37:57","slug":"personal-growth-in-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/personal-growth-in-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways to Experience Personal Growth in Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you feel stuck<\/a> in your life? How do healthy relationships<\/a> encourage personal growth<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In How to Be an Adult in Relationships<\/em>, David Richo says that mindfully loving<\/a> relationships encourage psychological growth in three ways. These include the opportunity to process your issues, make compassionate validation possible, and improve your self-esteem<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Check out how mindfulness<\/a> can spark personal growth in relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Growth Factor #1: Relationships Provide Opportunities for Processing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Mindfully loving relationships are a space where you can explore and overcome the consequences of your childhood wounds<\/a><\/strong>, which is the first way<\/a> you can experience personal growth in relationships. Richo explains that during the course of a relationship, you and your partner will inevitably trigger old memories of emotional pain<\/a>. When this happens between two mindful adults, you can healthily address the conflict and <\/em>the inner turmoil that has followed you from childhood into adulthood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if your partner snaps at you because the house is a mess, you might be upset\u2014not just because your partner snapped at you, but also because it reminds you of all the times your parents snapped at you as a kid. If you\u2019re both mindfully loving, you can process and work through it: You tell your partner how it makes you feel when they snap at you, and they validate your feelings. Then, together, you figure out healthier ways to deal with conflict<\/a> in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: When your partner triggers your childhood wounds, you may experience intense negative emotions and the impulse to lash out<\/a>. Since lashing out can damage your relationship, learning how to better cope with triggers benefits you and <\/em>your partner. One thing psychologists recommend when you\u2019re triggered is to ask your partner to give you some space<\/a> so you can process your feelings<\/a> and figure out a rational approach to the conflict.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growth Factor #2: Relationships Provide Compassionate Support<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Richo says that in addition to helping you work through your childhood wounds, your partner can support you through your <\/strong>adult <\/em><\/strong>wounds.<\/strong> For example, if you feel hurt after the end of a friendship, your partner might invite you to express that pain and make an effort to show you some extra affection when you need it. Compassionate validation from your partner ensures that you don\u2019t feel alone and overwhelmed in your pain\u2014instead, you feel connected and supported, which makes pain more tolerable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Compassionate support doesn\u2019t just reduce emotional pain\u2014it has a positive physical effect, too. Research demonstrates that emotional support from a romantic partner can help you tolerate pain better<\/a>, make you feel less stressed<\/a>, and influence you to make healthier choices for yourself<\/a>. So, in the long run, receiving compassionate support from your partner can help you live longer<\/a>.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growth Factor #3: Relationships Improve Your Self-Esteem<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Intimate relationships also improve your self-esteem<\/strong> because when someone shows a romantic interest in you, it proves to you that you\u2019re lovable. And, as the relationship deepens, you reveal your flaws and weaknesses, and you continue receiving your partner\u2019s love, you\u2019ll affirm that you\u2019re worthy of love regardless of your imperfections.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Partners, friends, and other loved ones boost <\/em>your self-esteem by opening your eyes to your own good qualities<\/a> with praise, encouragement, or acceptance of who you are<\/a>. These boosts can help assuage your insecurities, but ultimately, your self-esteem comes down to how you <\/em>feel about yourself<\/em>. So, while your mindfully loving partner should contribute to your self-esteem to some extent, it\u2019s important that you work on accepting yourself regardless <\/em>of what others think of you<\/a>.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you feel stuck in your life? How do healthy relationships encourage personal growth? In How to Be an Adult in Relationships, David Richo says that mindfully loving relationships encourage psychological growth in three ways. These include the opportunity to process your issues, make compassionate validation possible, and improve your self-esteem. Check out how mindfulness can spark personal growth in relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":10362,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,43],"tags":[1023],"class_list":["post-102398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-how-to-be-an-adult-in-relationships","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\n3 Ways to Experience Personal Growth in Relationships - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In a relationship, "we" is always important. But, "I" also matters. 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