{"id":102309,"date":"2023-05-12T16:42:00","date_gmt":"2023-05-12T20:42:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=102309"},"modified":"2023-05-16T14:03:10","modified_gmt":"2023-05-16T18:03:10","slug":"how-to-become-more-resilient","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-become-more-resilient\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Become More Resilient: 3 Tips for Bouncing Back"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you get discouraged? Does it stop you from trying again? What if you could turn that around?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Setbacks are unavoidable. How you react to them is up to you. You can train yourself\u2014not only to bounce back\u2014but to turn one step backward into two steps forward. Behavioral science expert Grace Lordan shares three ways to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading to learn how to become more resilient and move forward in strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How to Become More Resilient<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Whether you persist through setbacks depends on your resilience\u2014your ability to withstand, adapt to, and recover from adversity. Lordan suggests several strategies you can use to bounce back better from adverse events. Here’s her advice on how to become more resilient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #1: Distract Yourself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

First, create a list of things to distract you<\/strong> when you\u2019ve had a bad day. Then, do something from this list\u2014whether that\u2019s taking a bubble bath or partaking in a favorite hobby\u2014whenever you face a setback. Distracting yourself from the initial pain of the failure will help diminish that pain so you\u2019re better able to deal with it. Calming yourself down will also prevent you from making rash decisions in the heat of the moment\u2014a tendency caused by the affect heuristic<\/strong>, our tendency to make decisions based on how we\u2019re feeling instead of logical reasoning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Some experts agree that distracting yourself when you\u2019ve had a bad day can help. In particular, they recommend physically<\/em> removing yourself from the situation<\/a>; shifting your surroundings can prompt your brain that it\u2019s OK to switch your mood. But what if you\u2019re not able to take a break? Some experts suggest that you can circumvent the affect heuristic by speaking to yourself in the third person<\/a>. For example, instead of saying, \u201cI\u2019m so angry,\u201d say, \u201c[Your Name] is so angry.\u201d This strategy helps you distance yourself from your emotions<\/a>, which helps you gain control over your emotions and prevent them from driving your decisions.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #2: Practice Gratitude<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Second, Lordan recommends that you regularly practice gratitude<\/strong>. Humans pay more attention to losses than we do to gains, which can make us feel worse about our lives and reduce our ability to bounce back. By regularly practicing gratitude<\/a>, you remind yourself of all the good things in your life. As a result, you\u2019re better able to handle failures because you\u2019re able to counterweight their impact with the acknowledgment of the positive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, Bren\u00e9 Brown adds that practicing gratitude improves your self-esteem by boosting your sense of worthiness\u2014your conviction that you\u2019re good enough as you are. When you ignore the good things going on in your life, you see yourself and your actions as \u201cnot enough.\u201d Focusing your energies instead on the positive aspects of your life makes you more likely to feel like you\u2019re \u201cenough.\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip #3: Redefine “Setback”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You can also bounce back better from potentially adverse events by redefining what counts as an adverse event<\/strong>. To do so, Lordan suggests that you stop comparing yourself to others<\/a><\/strong>. No matter how well you do, you won\u2019t achieve satisfaction if you compare your own success to that of others\u2014because someone else will always<\/em> be doing better than you. Instead, compare yourself to yourself: In other words, judge your growth by comparing your current<\/em> self to your past <\/em>self. If you stop using others\u2019 accomplishments to evaluate your own success, you\u2019ll stop being upset by their accomplishments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Constantly comparing yourself to others is a form of what The Gap and The Gain<\/em><\/a> authors call \u201cgap-thinking.\u201d The authors agree with Lordan that gap-thinking is problematic: If you\u2019re trying to measure up to an idealized version of yourself based on others<\/em>\u2019 standards<\/a>, you don\u2019t have control over what success means to you\u2014and so might feel helpless<\/a> and unmotivated. Instead, the authors agree with Lordan that you should compare your current <\/em>self to your past <\/em>self\u2014which they call \u201cgain-thinking.\u201d When you measure your progress against your past self instead of others\u2019 successes<\/a>, you have a consistent standard upon which to improve.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you get discouraged? Does it stop you from trying again? What if you could turn that around? Setbacks are unavoidable. How you react to them is up to you. You can train yourself\u2014not only to bounce back\u2014but to turn one step backward into two steps forward. Behavioral science expert Grace Lordan shares three ways to do that. Keep reading to learn how to become more resilient and move forward in strength.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":46899,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9,43],"tags":[1021],"class_list":["post-102309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-think-big","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Become More Resilient: 3 Tips for Bouncing Back - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You can train yourself to turn one step backward into two steps forward. 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